Baby, I need you
by PJC
Summary: Sara knows that something is missing & has now worked out what. A baby. But with no boyfriend can she have one? Could using a sperm bank be the only way to have the baby she so desperately wants? & How will Gil react to her having a strangers baby? GSR
1. The Problem

_This takes place with the timeline tweaked a bit, it jumps from Grissom having the operation on his ear, to Committed with only a few months in between. Basically because those are the elements I wanted in the story and I really couldn't be bothered to cover the time in between._

_Summary: Sara knows something is missing from her life, and has finally worked out what it is. A baby. But with no boyfriend how can she have one? Could using a sperm bank be the only way to get what she so desperately wants? And how will Gil react knowing she wants to have a strangers baby?_

_Pairings: GSR (grissom and sara) poss with hints of Cath/Warrick, haven't decided yet._

* * *

Sara sat there on her sofa, her hands flicking through the magazine she was staring at. Her eyes were watching the pages but weren't really seeing any of the articles on them. Her mind wasn't on what was in front of her. Her mind was somewhere else. Pursuing a problem it had tried to solve many times and it had never come to a result.

She knew that thinking about it again was not going to alter anything, it never did, but she could still not keep her mind of it.

She thought back to when she had noticed as if looking for some kind of clue.

It had been a domestic abuse case at work. She was the only free CSI to take it as all the others had cases. Grissom came off Catherine's case to help Sara cope with hers. He knew they hit her hard but he couldn't alter it this time.

It had been worse than usual however, the husband had beaten the wife, the wife had then shot her husband, before then dying of internal injuries left from the beating a few hours later. This while horrible was not unusual. The only thing which really struck both of them was that there had also been a child involved. The husband had also beaten their 9 month old baby, had strangled it with a cord until it passed out, it had barely survived.

Sara had always known that something was missing from her life; she had always tried to cover it up with work. This had worked until she had met Gil Grissom, and then when she came to work for him it became even harder to hide it.

She had then known that what her life was missing was love, sure she had friends, but she didn't have the almost unconditional love of a partner or parents to fall back on.

She had just never realised that the real thing missing from her life, was a child.

She discovered this when she had held the baby involved in the case as she took it to Social Services. The feeling of it just been right had come over her.

She had never wanted marriage, occasionally she had tried relationships but she always ended up fearing it, due to her parents. The only man she had even seriously considered was Gil Grissom, but she knew he was uninterested in her.

She could have coped with that, she didn't need marriage, a relationship or even a man. She just needed the ability to have a child with someone.

She had considered dating people until she found someone she liked, but had discovered too much emotion was involved in that and was still looking for a way she could manage it without hurting anyone, or getting herself hurt.

Her eyes still stared blankly at the magazine in her hand. She would never normally buy magazines herself, but it had been given to her by her neighbour.

Her eyes suddenly caught sight of an article which could just solve her problem.

She marked the page which it was on by folding down the corner. She got herself a glass of water, finished it and then grabbed the magazine and headed into her bedroom.

She lay in bed, what she had just read swimming around still in her head.

She read it again just to try and answer some of her questions. She found very few answers in the article, but she did find a phone number at the bottom. She glanced at the clock, she still had time.

She called the number, asked for some information and forms to be sent, told them her address and disconnected the phone before placing it back in its base on her drawers.

She tried to settle her mind enough to sleep; she needed to be awake for work.

Finally arranging her mind enough to sleep, thinking that she would think about everything in the morning. She dropped into an uneasy sleep, filled with odd dreams about things which didn't quite make sense to her still tired mind.


	2. Watching

She sat there, trying to focus on the evidence in front of her down the microscope. She was still staring at the fibre trying to work out why it wasn't quite clear. She finally registered that Grissom had been the last person to use it and had therefore altered the focus for it. Stifling a yawn she started altering it so that she could also see through it. Now on auto-pilot for a few moments her mind wandered to the rest of the day so far.

She hadn't expected the information to arrive that by the time she woke up, but hadn't been able to stop herself glancing at the back of her door when she woke up, and checking under the mat to make sure it hadn't fallen underneath it. She had then been distracted all morning thinking about, asking herself the same pointless questions, and not getting any further with her answers each time. _'Can I do this? Why do I want to do this? Can I do it financially? Can I do it physically? Can I do emotionally? What would everyone think? What would Grissom think?' _

After getting the microscope back into focus she started making notes about the fibre in front of her with one hand, while occasionally altering the magnification with the other. Noting the trace on it, and extracting samples, some for Greg and some for Hodges. She was focused on her work, partly because she always gave her whole attention to the job and partly because it stopped her asking herself pointless questions. She was so focused on her work however that she didn't notice Grissom stood in the doorway watching her.

'_God, she's so beautiful, and she doesn't even know how beautiful she is._' Grissom mentally shook himself, he shouldn't be thinking things like that, but he didn't move from his position, leaning against the doorframe, watching her while she didn't know, like he always did. Whenever she was processing a scene, whenever she was talking with the others in the break room, or times like now. He only watched her when he knew she wouldn't see him. He knew that she liked him, but he still didn't know why. He though himself geeky, awkward, lacking in social skills, unable to display the affection he felt for everyone, he also hated his bandy legs and the stomach which was slowly growing as he aged, still not too large but enough for him to notice it and add it to the list of why he was so shocked that she liked him.

Whereas her, she had no idea how beautiful she was, she thought that her height made her gangly, that her hair was always greasy and unexciting, that her eyes were boring as they were only brown, that she had no breasts and that her legs were too long making her look out of proportion. He thought she was beautiful, that her height only made her more beautiful as it showed off how slender she was, that her hair was glorious and a perfect compliment to the colour of her skin, that her eyes were beautiful brown orbs as deep as the sea, which he could become lost in for hours. He didn't care that she thought she had no breasts, her figure still seemed perfect to him, and that her long legs were something to long for rather than regret, that they made her seem perfectly proportioned.

He didn't realise either that she saw things in him which we would never have spotted. She thought that his brown hair slowly turning grey, was beautiful, that the curls in it were gorgeous, the kind of curls that she could spend all day wrapping her finger around and that the grey in his hair made him look distinguished and only added to his attractiveness. She loved the fact that he was geek, that he was so similar to her in that respect, that his awkwardness was adorable, that his unwillingness to display affection in public while annoying was just a sign of shyness, which she was sure would disappear when in private, that his legs were fine, and that the stomach which he was trying harder to cover up was virtually non-existent, but mostly the way that he could seem to read her mind, he knew that she was thinking, and how he could be trusted with anything. She just didn't understand why he couldn't see it in himself.

And neither of them knew, or could understand, how the other could be interested in them, and that they were unaware that almost everyone of the opposite sex would watch them if they walked pass, and that half of them would sigh at the fact that they didn't have a chance with them.

Grissom was still stood watching her, drinking in every detail, memorising them, watching how her hair appeared different shades in the different shades of light filtering into the room. Wondering if there was anyway in which she could be his. He knew that he had had many chances to go out with her, many chances to kiss her even outside of work. But he had been reluctant at first and then by the time he had worked himself up to taking the next opportunity, she had asked, and he had had to decline due to the impending operation on his ear. He wanted to explain but was reluctant to. It had only been about a month since then and he had tried to broach the subject a few times but each time she had either altered the topic, had simply not replied, or told him it was OK that she understood before turning away and quickly changing th subject with a sad look in her eyes.

He considered another go, but even without seeing her face, he knew she was tired, the way that her feet were angled downwards not straight ahead as they rested on the stool and the subtle change in her posture mainly in her back. He no longer even found it odd that he could tell her mood from so small a features. He decided that he wouldn't push it while she was tired, he didn't want to upset her.

Finally her head raised up from the microscope, glanced at her notes and then she stood up and started turning towards the doorway.

Grissom inwardly sighed that he could not watch her for any longer headed into the room as though he had only just arrived. Asking if she had found anything.

"A few things" she admitted "but I need to get these to Greg and Hodges to know what I have found and how big it is in the case."

"OK."

Both stood there not knowing what to say to break the silence. After a few minutes Sara muttered something about getting the samples to Greg and Hodges and hurried out of the door. Grissom turned around and watched her leave over his shoulder, sighing that he still had not had the courage to do anything. Mentally beating himself up about his lack of action he wandered in the direction of the break room, where coffee sounded good before going to go process the clothes from the vic.


	3. Rejected Kiss

_Thanks for all the title suggestions, they are all really good. Still trying to decided which to choose._

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* * *

_

Another 3 days had passed and Grissom was growing more and more concerned about Sara. She was distracted more often than he was use to, she was even becoming distracted when they were out in the field, which never normally happened, not to Sara. He could tell she was still not sleeping properly. He just didn't know why. He wanted to. He wanted to know everything about her, wanted to know about her childhood, whether she wore braces, what she had wanted for Christmas, why she had become a CSI. He wanted to meet her family, see all the pictures from her childhood, hear all the embarrassing stories.

What shocked him the most however was that he wanted her to know these things about him. He had always been private, ever since his dad had died. He had seen how silent his beloved bugs and insects were and had spent more and more time locked up in his room with them, while he and his mother went there separate ways in dealing with the tragedy. He never revealed more than he had to about his personal life, _or lack of it_ he thought wryly. The few times he had it had only been to people like Catherine or Brass whom he was close to. Yet he still wanted Sara to know everything, his first memory, his best memory, his worst memory, when he had got glasses, when he had bought his first racing roach, his favourite subjects at school. He wanted to wake up next to her, pull her over to him and just lay there, her in his arms, him stroking her hair. To be able to tell her anything and everything. Most of all though he wanted to be there for her and make his happiest memories with her at his side.

His turned his mind away from these futile thoughts, unless he did something, and soon, he would lose the possibility of these forever. Instead he tried to focus on the case again. Greg and Hodges had found nothing from what Sara had extracted from the fibre, he had found nothing on the clothes. Brass was chasing the statement, Grissom and Sara were both still processing the car. He looked up from the gap between the back seats, to see Sara in the front of the car, extracting a scrap of cloth from under the drivers seat. He watched her as she reached back under the seat, lost in his own thoughts again. He could still tell however that Sara also wasn't entirely focused and that part of her mind was elsewhere.

A metallic clunk brought them both back to the present, Sara who had been pulling out another strip of cloth saw a knife fall from the cloth which it had been wrapped up in. The knife itself was clean, but the cloth around it was covered in blood. Grissom lent forward between the seats in order to see the knife clearer while Sara put the knife on top of an evidence bag which she had laid on the seat as she had already processed it. She carefully laid the knife down there as she turned round to pick up the camera. After she had taken the photo and turned around to pick it up again both noticed how close they were to the other. Sara could feel th heat radiating from Grissoms cheek as he looked down at the knife next to her. Grissom could see the vein in Sara's neck showing her pulse. He swallowed as he felt his own pulse rise and saw hers do the same. He turned to look at her. Sara stayed staring down at the seat.

Both knew how close they now were and how little effort it would take for Grissom to lean forward a little more and Sara turn her face so that they could kiss. Both sat frozen, neither wanting to move further away from the other, but both reluctant to make the next move. Sara turned her face towards him slowly, Grissom moved forward slowly as well, he was only about a centimetre away from her face. He could feel her breath tickling his cheek. He continued moving forwards, as soon as there lips made contact, Sara jumped up quickly, bashing her head on the ceiling of the car, swearing under her breath at the pain she grabbed the bag and the knife in her gloved hand and ran out of the room. Once outside she quickly bagged the knife and the cloth, she dropped the knife of with Hodges, the cloth of with Greg, saying a word to neither before running into the bathroom, where she broke down into sobs.

_'You stupid fool' _she scolded herself, _' He was finally taking the first step.' _She had lost count of the times she had dreamed of him kissing her or longed for it when they were working closely on a case together, and then when he did she jumped up, bashed her head, and ran away without speaking to him. _' He wasn't interested in me anyway, he was just been a man. He saw an opportunity and he took it. No, I made the right decision. He would only have made me fall for him even more and then leave me hurt.' _She told herself this over and over again, trying to persuade herself to believe it. But deep-down she knew Grissom was different, she knew that he wouldn't just take any opportunity presented to him. She had had first-hand evidence of that countless times. She knew that he had tried to talk to her about her suggestion that they go out a few times.

Getting up from her position on the floor she went to the sink and splashed some cold water onto her face. She had managed to stop crying and her breathing was beginning to return to normal. She breathed in and stared at herself in the mirror, until she heard the door open slowly. Her breath caught in her throat _'Is it Grissom? Has he come to try and talk to me again? He wouldn't come into the womens bathroom though, would he?' _She relaxed slightly when she heard heels approaching.

She watched in the mirror and let out the breath she had been holding when she saw Catherine approach. She had become closer to this older CSI over the last few months, and now knew that she knew how she felt about Grissom and that he could trust her. Catherine reached her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and asked her in a soft voice "Grissom's worried about you. What's up? What happened?"

Sara before she knew where she was had collapsed into Catherine's arms and was holding onto her for support as she began crying again, letting everything out. She was vaguely aware of Catherine sitting her down on the floor and then sitting her down next to her an pulling her back into a hug as Sara continued to cry her heart out into her shoulder.


	4. Consideration & Realisation

Sara wiped her eyes as she sat up from Catherine shoulder. She had never cried that much, she only cried about things involving her family and even then she only cried slightly and never onto anyones shoulder. She always cried by herself, she had never cried on anyones shoulder before least of all at work.

Catherine slowly took her hand and under her gentle questioning, Sara told her what had happened and accidentally let slip about thinking about having a child. She quickly tried to cover it up bit Catherine still caught it and questioned her about it, until Sara eventually gave in and told her everything.

"You know that case I worked on the other week?" After receiving a nod from the older woman she carried on, "Well you also remember how I told you that I knew something was missing from my life, oh ages ago? Well I worked out what it is."

Then with a very direct look at the other CSI she said, "Cath, I want a baby. I know no-one thinks that I'm the maternal sort, and in all honesty neither did I until recently. It's not like I'm looking for a husband or even a partner. And definitely _not_ a one-night stand or just a random person. But I still want a baby."

Catherine, still holding Sara's hand squeezed it and asked, "But honey, if you don't want just a random person and you're not asking for or looking for a partner, I'm sure you could do it, but how are you gonna get pregnant? I mean I know you could adopt, but I don't see you adopting, not for your first. And I mean I know your a scientist, but I still don't see you taking the, aah ... scientific root. I mean you, IVF or a sperm donor? No way.! She finished with a slight laugh. Sara's cheeks grew pinker and she looked down at her lap, not saying anything.

Sara instantly let go of Sara's hand as she pushed herself up off the floor to stand up.

"Sara, you can't tell me that your thinking of using a sperm donor?" Sara gave a very slight nod, barely noticeable unless you were watching from a sign from her.

Still staring down at her, Cath continued talking to her, "Sara, I know its accepted and everything, and I'm sure you could cope as a single parent, I mean baby-sitting's a bugger to arrange but other than that you could probably do it. But you of all people Sara."

Sara, feeling her anger rising also stood up so that she was actually taller than the woman she was facing. Her voice low with concentration at not losing her temper, she said, "Actually Cath, Yes I am considering. I have no desire for a husband or for my baby to have a father, they will have plenty of uncles here. And for your information the information arrived just before I came to work and intend to read it all and fill in all the forms as soon as I get home from work. No matter what you think Cathrine, I have thought about this a lot, and _this_ is what I want." She finished, a hand subconsciously splayed over her abdomen.

She turned away from the blond until she heard her mutter quietly, "What about Grissom?"

Sara just ignored the question and walked out of the bathroom, her mind still racing, that was the one thing she really didn't want to face. The rest she knew that if she approached them logically she could answer the majority of them. She didn't know what to think about Grissom should she tell him? What would he think? Would he just push her away even more? How would he look at her, knowing that she chose to have the baby of someone she didn't even know? Would this destroy any chance they still had? Did they still have a chance? If they did, would he be reluctant for fear of hurting the child as well as Sara? Why was she even worrying about what he thought?

Still striding angrily she walked straight past the break room, straight past Grissom's office and into the locker room. She roughly pulled her jacket off, shoved it into her locker, slammed the locker door shut, punched the door and then carried on her unstoppable course to DNA and then onto Trace.

Grissom spotted her angry course as she went past his office. He wanted to go up to her, wrap his arms around her, hold her close, tell her it was OK, tell her he would always be there, have her head rest on his shoulder as he spoke words of comfort in her ear, entwine his fingers in her hair, feel the warmth of her against him, kiss the top of her head in order to reassure her, just to be there for her without fear of rejection, or reprimand, or fear of anyone else seeing.

He wanted it so badly that he was already at the door, his hand on the handle, ready to pull it open and go to her, that he didn't even realise he had done it. He was already at the door before he even thought about it. He leaned against the door, pulling his glasses off and squeezing the bridge of his nose. Sighing, he resolved to return to his desk, he knew that she wouldn't want to see him now, and that by trying to move things forward he had only pushed things further back. He sat in his chair and scolded himself for acting without thinking. He resolved to ask her out properly, dinner, candles, waiters, no crime scene, no people from the lab. A proper date, with just him and Sara. Still mentally beating himself up and reminding himself that she wouldn't want to see him right now, he tried to resolve his thoughts into some kind of order so that he could still work.

Sara stormed into DNA, without even a friendly greeting she immediately spoke quickly quietly and angrily at Greg, "My results."

Greg, spotting and recognising all the warning signs that he needed to get out of the way soon quickly muttered under his breath, still not looking at her, stumbling over his words and beginning to stutter, "Oh er, S-s-sorry Sara, they haven't f-finished processing yet, t-t-they top of the list though."

"Good. I'll be back in an hour."

She then carried on towards Trace, Greg staring after her hoping against hope that Hodges had some good results for her.

"Hodges. My results, the cloth, the knife."

Hodges immediately jumped, almost spilling the chemical he was working with, seeing the look in Sara's eyes he immediately grabbed her printouts and handed them to her.

"The, er, cloth had nothing, it's with Greg for DNA. The dagger had prints, Jacqui had already processed them and I have just given you the results there. The cloth around the dagger had hair in it, had a skin tag, that's also with Greg and I did manage to get some interesting trace off of it. And that's shown in this print-out here." He finished smugly, flourishing another piece of paper, looking startled as Sara ripped it from his hand.

"Thank You Hodges. Tell Greg to page me as soon as he's got his results, I'm off to go share these with Grissom." She almost snarled out the last word. Hodges immediately responded,

"Hey I'm no-ones messenger, you want Greg to page you, go tell him yourself."

He was silent at Sara's fierce glare, more dangerous than any dagger or weapon either of them had ever processed. He quickly muttered something about telling Greg what she had said before scurrying off to go find Greg.

Sara eyed him like a snake watching a scurrying insect until footsteps brought her back to reality, seeing Catherine she immediately turned on her heel and went straight to Grissom's office, her anger renewed by seeing the very person who had caused her to question the man she loved so much. The woman who had let her cry on her shoulder and in an instant with one question taken all that comfort away. Eye's narrowed she strode purposefully down the corridor. Totally blanking Greg as she passed him in the hall.

Bursting open the door to Grissom's office she saw him sat calmly behind his desk watching her. She strode in laid the papers down on the desk told him unemotionally, "Jacqui got print's, our suspect held the knife, still waiting on Greg for DNA, get Brass to round him up, we need to ask him some more questions."

With that she walked out of the room. The anger previously written on her face now replaced with utter confusion.

Not at the results but at Grissom. Not the way he had simply sat there and taken her anger without saying a word, not the way he had immediately picked up the phone without even looking at the results. Partly the trust he had in her still to get it right, but mainly at the look in his eyes.

She had looked at him, and even though she knew he was probably annoyed at her and how she had slighted him. His eye's still held love in them, it had appeared as soon as he had seen her. She know recognised it for what it was having seen it only a short while before in the car. She was astounded at how after what she had done, the main emotion he showed and felt for her was love. And she realised that his love for her, was actually deeper than her love of him, something she had thought impossible to match or to beat. The amount of love shown there still confusing her mind as she walked outside for some fresh air.

Her mind now turned from anger and fear to happiness,

'_I can't believe,' _she thought_, 'Gil Grissom actually loves me. Maybe we still have a shot after all.'_


	5. Decision

Sara slammed her door as she entered her apartment, '_Who was I kidding thinking that we still possibly had a chance after all. All he's done is ignore me all shift. He probably regrets what he did. Great! All I've done, is made everything worse. And just given myself another load of heartache.'_

As she put all her papers and her case down next to her entrance table, her eyes caught sight of the information which had arrived in the post that morning. Her fingers itched to open it and read it straight away but she knew that if she did then she would never get herself anything else to eat.

Instead she walked into the kitchen, calmly sorted herself out a quick sandwich, turned on the TV and ate the sandwich and finished off the cup of coffee she had made while making her sandwich. She then had a quick shower and changed into a baggy T-shirt and some pyjama bottom shorts before curling up on the sofa with all the leaflets and forms.

After reading it all through twice, she leaned her head back into the cushions of the sofa and closed her eyes as her mind raced.

She did not doubt right now that she would make a good mother and she knew that she could cope with it financially at least for now. It turned out that her parents had had quite a large savings account despite their unhappiness. She had never used any of the money, trying to keep her mind away from the reason she had it. She had suddenly remembered it and was surprised to find how large it had grown, just left to gain interest since her parents had died.

It was only a fraction dented because of her mother's temporary placement in 'mental health care institution' and despite her former reluctance to use it she now found that it was the only way she could manage it.

Her eye's stayed closed as she raised her head up and it flopped over to rest her chin on her chest. Sighing she opened her eyes and stared at the papers in front of her.

She already knew that reading about it, agreeing to it and actually going through it were different things. She knew that her life would never be the same afterwards.

Her mind raced with all the possibilities, in the end she weighed it up and decided that the happiness and the rightness it would bring far out-weighed the disadvantages. After all if Catherine could do it, why couldn't she?

She reached over and pulled a pen from the table and a book to rest on. After reaching up to her hair, she quickly brushed it back with fingers, pulled it into a rough pony-tail, still slightly damp. She set her mind and reached to her side for the first paper and started to fill it in.

After filling in every sheet of paper, she stood up, her hair now dry, and sealed the envelope she had placed them all in.

Going back to her entrance table, she opened the drawer, drew out a stamp, licked the back of the stamp and stuck it to the front of the envelope. Placing it back on the table to be posted as she left for work, she headed back to the bedroom to sleep before she went back to work.

The next few days continued as they had before, her and Grissom virtually ignored each other, their case now closed, he had made her run a routine robbery with Warrick while he was becoming even more reclusive and speaking to everyone less and less as he ran another robbery solo.

The only difference was that Sara's day off came around, normally she went into work anyway and just did half a shift instead of a full one. This time she quickly informed Grissom that she would actually be taking her day off. This was virtually the only time they spoke to each other all week.

As she woke on her day off she stretched, sat up, pulled her hair into a quick pony-tail, made herself some breakfast and was just contemplating which room to start cleaning first when her phone began to ring.

She walked over to it, wondering who could be ringing her, she very rarely got calls anymore that weren't work-related unless everyone was off and she knew that everyone else was in today.

Confused she picked up the phone wondering who could be calling her.

"Hello?"

Hearing a voice reply, she almost dropped the phone.

"Grissom?"


	6. Phone Call & Appointment

"Hello? Miss. Sidle? Are you OK?"

Sara scrambled to pick up the phone, caught it just before it hit the floor and quickly held it back to her ear.

"Sorry, dropped the phone, what did you say?" She almost squeaked out before clearing her throat while listening to the speaker at the other end question her.

"Is that Miss. Sidle? Sara Sidle?" A voice spoke through, Sara's heart drooped as she realised that the voice speaking to her was a young women. Still curious she answered.

"Yes, this is Sara Sidle."

"Hi there Miss Sidle, this is Betty from the Munroe clinic, you sent your forms in a few days ago. Part of our screening program is a personal meeting followed by a physical check-up. I was hoping to arrange a time."

"Right OK, well today is actually my day off, I don't suppose you have a space available today do you?"

"I'll just check for you miss." A few moments of silence filled only with the faint sounds of a keyboard typing followed on the phone."

"Yes we happen to have had a cancellation. Is 11:30 OK? It should take about 1 hour to reach us from your address."

Sara glanced at the clock, 9:15, yes she had time.

"Sure that's fine. Thanks for getting back to me, I'll see you later."

And with that she hung up the phone. She placed it back on the receiver steadying herself against the table with the hand which had just replaced while her other hand reached up and placed a hand on her abdomen.

She stood there for a moment until the clock hand moved and brought her back to the present. She threw on some smart-ish but comfortable clothes after having a shower. Grabbed her purse and grabbed her car keys before heading out of her door, locking it, making her way down the steps to the ground floor of her complex where her car was parked outside.

Looking at the clock as she got in the car she read the digital display saying 10:15. '_That's good, I have about 15 minutes spare, I know where it is but I will need that in case I get lost. And maybe to have time to calm down when I get there.'_

Turning the key until the engine came into life, she then pushed on the pedal and pulled out into the road, turning left at the exit as she pulled onto the road. Heading towards the Munroe clinic for her appointment. Wondering if this would be the last stage before they agreed to let her have a baby or not.


	7. Exam & Interview

'_Why do they always make these robes so large and drafty, I mean, I know they are going for the one size fits all thing, but still, they need a smaller one.'_

She sat on the table, waiting for the doctor to come in, staring at the posters on the walls, she found her eye drawn to one about the different stages of pregnancy. She hopped down off the table and went over to it, reading every piece of writing on there, fascinated by the minute changes her body would make, '_If they actually let me go through with this that is.' _She was still waiting for the doctor to come in and give her a physical exam, and then after that she would be taken through within about 10 minutes to have the interview.

After they had assessed that she was physically capable, mentally healthy, and that her intentions were right, they would give her a list of possible donors. She would choose, and then that was it, assuming it worked she would be pregnant, she would have the baby inside her which she wanted so much.

She ran through different possibilities in her mind, if it would work, whether it would be a boy or a girl, what kind of donor she would choose.

Her thoughts were interrupted as someone walked in. She started as she saw Catherine enter the room. She blinked before realising that it wasn't actually Catherine. But it _was _a person virtually identical to her.

Her mind quickly rushed and was reminded of Debbie Marlin, she had been her own double. She quickly stopped thinking about her as that thought only brought Grissom to mind. When she had heard him talking to the doctor who had killed her. When he seemed to be speaking more of himself than of the doctor.

Sara could not help feeling that he was talking about her, he had been flirting with her for years and she was sure that he wouldn't have spoken like that if the vic hadn't looked so much like her.

She still however could not fully keep the idea that it might be someone else out of her mind. She could not keep from her mind the list of possibilities of people it could be, logically she knew that it could only be someone in work, that he only looked on Catherine as a friend, that his date with the lab tech hadn't gone well, that he wouldn't go out with Jacqui or Mandy.

But she never thought logically when it involved Grissom, she was still worried and watched carefully whenever he seemed to be close to another person in the lab. Still listened intently whenever Catherine mentioned something which could imply anything about Grissom's life outside of work.

As the doctor began speaking to her she pulled her mind back from its futile contemplations.

"Sorry, I missed that, what did you say?"

The doctor smiled sympathetically at her, understanding that her thoughts would be in turmoil and that she might be distracted.

"It's alright Miss. Sidle -"

"Sara" Sara interrupted

"Sara" the doctor amended, "I'm Doctor Wilson, but call me Cat. Now if you want to lay back and we can start this and get you out of this drafty robe as quick as possible."

Sara smiled wryly at the similarities between the names Catherine Willows, and Kat Wilson. She lay back on the table and tried to relax.

A short while later Sara sat in an unfamiliar office, in an unfamiliar chair, staring at unfamiliar walls.

She tried to keep her mind focused whilst waiting for her interviewer to come in. There were no posters on the walls to occupy her attention, nothing to draw her mind away from the futile thoughts she had driven it away from earlier.

Instead to steady her nerves, she began quoting a poem to see how much she could still remember.

She had just reached the end, and had just remembered that it had actually been Grissom who had first told her and shown her the poem she had become drawn to.

Fortunately for her it was at this point that her interviewer came into the room.

He was a man of average age, height, looks, everything.

Absolutely everything about him screamed normal, except for the smile he was wearing. A calm friendly one.

Everything about him conspired to make him seem approachable, calm and friendly.

Sara felt herself relax a little, his calm controlled presence soothing her nerves.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Mac, but please call me Doug. Do you prefer Miss. Sidle or Sara?"

"Sara please Doug."

He smiled at her again as he sat down after shaking her hand across the desk.

"Now Sara, as you probably know, this can be a very complicated process, you need to be financially secure, physically and mentally healthy and we need to be 100 sure of these facts. But you also need to be the right kind of person, we need to feel that this is what you want and that it isn't just ... a passing fancy. I've just spoken to Doctor. Wilson. Kat. And she says that physically you will be fine, that you are probably one of the healthiest people she has ever seen. And that as a bonus point, your uterus is definitely strong enough to cope with holding a baby, as is you cervix. Which reduces the risk of having a miscarriage which is extremely good both from our point of view, and from yours."

Sara shuffled slightly uncomfortably, she knew she was a scientist but discussing such private matters such as the strength of her uterus with someone she had only just met when she hadn't even known was still a bit odd for her.

Doug seeing her discomfort simply smiled knowingly and quickly looked down at his desk to some sheets he had brought in with him, and quickly changed topic.

"Also financially from what you have indicated on your forms you earn enough money to afford a place to live and not to have a bad life, but are you sure it is enough to support a child as well, they are always more expensive than people think."

"My parents left me some money in their will and its just been sat there gaining interest for years. I have enough to support a child and I am not using it for anything else. I can cope financially, I can't move into a mansion or anything." She joked nervously.

"In their will? Shall I take it your parents are ... no longer with us?" He asked delicately.

"I was raised in foster care." Sara supplied shortly, cutting off any further questions from him.

"Well then, we will need to talk to a few people who know you as well to see what you are like and if you are the kind of person this facility will want to help, and we will need the name of the foster home you were at, you can give it to the front desk on the way out, just to check that your lack of parents will not have affected you parenting skills. Now for people to call you have only listed contact numbers of colleagues." He spoke quickly in the middle with a quieter voice, until slowing down and loudening up when he reached less personal and possibly upsetting subjects.

"Yes, my work colleagues know me best, they have seen all sides of my personality both inside and outside of work, I can give you a few contacts outside of work, but I tend to mostly socialise with the people in work."

"OK, one more question, we need to speak to a superior of yours at work, but you have added an extra note saying preferably not to contact your supervisor. Are you in some kind of relationship with him? Or is there some reason we should not talk to him?"

Sara swallowed before answering, "Despite been a scientist he still has some odd ideas about people he knows, he is another one of my friends and I want to tell him when it is definite, so as not to upset him prematurely. Catherine Willows is the other superior of me who you can call who also has access to my records and actually knows me. All the other superiors do not know me personally."

She tried to suppress the fear she felt about them possibly calling Ecklie, that was why she had implied that he would not know her and that only Cath was a superior who would know her except Grissom. When she thought of this she felt a twinge in her stomach about having to lie about Grissom and why they shouldn't contact him, she just didn't want him to find out that way, or to tell him prematurely like she had said. But she knew that the real reason was that she didn't want to destroy what little hope they had left and that she still feared his disapproval, no matter what she had told herself.

"Ok Sara, I think thats about all that's needed here. Do you have any questions?"

She shook her head.

"Right then, Thank you for coming in on such short notice to see us. If you think of anything else please don't hesitate to call the facility, with general questions the reception staff should be able to help, if you wish to then feel free to ask for me about specific things, or to ask for another appointment if there is something you wish to discuss. We will call a few friends of yours and then get back to you, although personally I don't thing there should be much trouble, you seem like the kind of person who can handle this. So hopefully we will see you in a few weeks after we have spoken to others to go over the next stage of the process. So we will contact you, send you a list of donors, or email them, whichever you prefer. And then arrange to have one implanted, it can all be done in a few short weeks. Thanks for coming Sara."

He stood up and she followed suit, they shook hands again and Sara walked out of the room, to her car. And started driving back to her apartment. Thoughts still rushing through her mind including that she must warn Catherine that they would probably call her, and that she would need to ask Grissom to let Cath have her records if she asked for them. All these things registered towards the back of her mind, but the forefront of her thoughts was taken up by one continuously repeating thought.

'_I can have a baby, a few weeks and then I could be pregnant. I'm going to have a baby! I'm going to be a mom!'_


	8. Secret

_Sorry about this chapter, was originally better, but the stupid computer crashed as I was saving the finished version. Lost it all, made it back from scratch but just didn't have the energy left to get it back up to the standard of the last one._

_But you will just have to cope with it, I may alter it later._

_It has also altered the story line because the first version took a lot of time and effort, and now I don't have the time, energy or patience left._

_Will try to make it up in the next chapter_

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Sara rolled over in bed, not wanting to get up. Getting up meant going into work. Getting up meant seeing Catherine. Seeing Catherine meant finding out if the Clinic had rung yet. Finding out if they had meant she would know if she could be a mother soon. Getting up ... meant seeing Grissom.

She didn't want to keep lying to him. She had cleared it with Catherine that they wouldn't tell Grissom, Catherine had cleared with Grissom that she could have access to Sara's files.

Sara didn't know how she had done it, or what she had told him. She knew that he didn't know what she had decided yet, but she also knew that she didn't want to know what Catherine had told Grissom. She couldn't handle any more lies at the moment. No more secrets. She already felt like she was a bow string, on the verge of snapping, being pulled too tight. She just didn't know where the arrow was been aimed and so what would be the breaking point. And whether she would snap or recover. She didn't know.

She sighed as she dragged herself out of bed and into the shower. She did need to tell Grissom at some point, even Grissom couldn't miss her becoming pregnant. But she was so use to keeping things to herself. For example her family and what had happened. The most anyone knew was that she was raised in foster care. None of the team knew why, especially not Grissom.

She just needed to know if they had rung Catherine yet, she knew it would be while she was at work so that she had access to Sara's records. But they hadn't yet rung and she knew that it would be soon. She still needed to work out how to tell Grissom, the others she could cope with, and she still didn't know what Catherine would say, she needed someone there to support her, she knew she could do it on her own. But she still wanted someone there.

And she still needed to tell Grissom.

She also needed Catherine when it came to moving furniture for the baby.

And she still needed to tell Grissom.

Her mind was brimming with possibilities as she got dressed, different ways she could tell him, how he would react and what he would say.

Her thoughts were still in turmoil as she went down to her car and she only fully became herself again as she pulled her car in next to Grissoms in the CSI car park.

Smoothing her face, and putting it into a slight grin she walked confidently into work, into the locker room, and then carried straight on into the break room after putting her coat in her locker.

Her pace gradually slowed as she walked toward the break room, trying to work out who was in there.

Nick and Warrick were at the table playing cards, and Catherine was sat in a chair laughing at something Greg had just told her. Grissom was nowhere to be seen.

Sara walked into the room, waved to Warrick and Nick, nodded towards Greg, and bee-lined to the chair next to Catherine's.

Giving the blonde woman a questioning look Catherine shook her head slightly in reply. Greg watched the exchange between the two women and grew curious. Glancing once at Catherine and seeing her cool calm exterior, he immediately turned to Sara, spotted her slightly defeated and thoughtful and decided that she would be the one he would get the information out of.

Greg slowly advanced on Sara, knowing the best way to get information out of her was to threaten to tickle her. He wiggled his fingers at her as he moved towards her, a wicked grin on his face.

Sara just stared at him, "You're not getting any information out of me Greg, not today. Go bother the guys if you want to annoy someone." Greg now determined wasn't to be defeated by Sara's stare and her nonchalant tone of voice. Knowing she was a lost cause, he instead turned slightly and headed towards Catherine instead. Adopting a different method though now, he pouted slightly and looked at her with wide eyes, looking just like a puppy.

"Come on Cath, you know you want to tell someone, why not tell me? You have to tell someone. Please" He finished pathetically, he could see her squirming as her desire to be the one to tell someone fought against the trust and friendship she felt for Sara.

He saw in her eyes that she had made her decision, he still didn't know what though. She beckoned Greg to come closer using just her index finger. Greg moved towards her as she said quietly "You really wanna' know Greg? Can you keep it a secret though?"

Greg nodded, as she gestured for him to lean closer so that she could whisper in his ear. Sara stared at Catherine not wanting to believe that she would tell Greg so easily. The guys had stopped their card game and were instead staring at Catherine and Greg, both also now curious to know what was going on. Catherine smiled reassuringly at Sara and then winked at the guys as Greg leaned in.

She placed her hand against Greg's cheek and whispered into his ear, but loud enough for the others to hear. "Good, so can I." She then lightly patted his cheek before he pulled away glaring at her. "Awwww, come on Cath, you know you want to tell someone." He said as the others laughed.

"Ok Greg, I feel kinda mean about that. You wanna know the truth?" Greg nodded emphatically. "You _really _wanna know?" Greg nodded again, even stronger this time.

"Sara and me are going out, she was wondering if I was off my period yet so that we could get _physical_ again." She said raising her eyebrows to emphasize the point. Her face stayed completely straight.

Nick stared at her, trying to work out if she was telling the truth. Greg, gullible as always, was fighting between disgust at hearing about Catherine's period and excitement at hearing that Catherine and Sara were a couple, all while trying to work out the chances of them kissing in front of him if he asked them to. Warrick was gazing back and forth between Sara trying to work out if it was true and with enormous jealousy in his gaze, still strong from when he had seen Cath's hand on Greg's cheek. Sara stared blankly at Catherine. They both managed to to keep a straight face for about a minute before both bursting into fits of laughter.

Everyone joined in the laughter all know aware that it had been a joke. Greg's face however still held a hint of disappointment, Warrick's eyes now held no jealousy when he looked at Sara, but it still shone strong when he looked at Greg. Unfortunately Catherine and Sara were now rolling around on the floor, tears in their eyes, and so neither saw this pass on Warrick's face.

It was at this point that Grissom walked into the room. Sara stopped laughing and calmed down as soon as she saw him a slight smile still pulling on her lips though. Catherine saw him but simply stayed laying limply on the floor with the occasional giggle creeping out of her. The rest of them all calmed down and stopped laughing but all were still smiling.

Sara's face dropped however at Grissoms first sentence as she tried to conceal her nerves.

"Right OK calm down, Cath there is a call waiting for you on line 2 in my office, someone rang and said that they were calling for you." He glanced slightly at Sara as he said it, Catherine immediately regained her composure and stood back up, nodding at Grissom she walked out of the office, giving Sara's hand a reassuring squeeze as she passed her.

"Right the rest of you have work to do, here are the sheets Warrick and Nick your with Catherine, she already has the information so you can wait here for her. Sara we have a murder at a mental institution. I'll meet you outside in 5 minutes, so grab you kit, vest and jacket and I'll see you outside."

Sara slowly stood up and moved toward the door in a kind of trance.

She got into the lockers before having to sit down, she hated those places, they reminded her of the one her mother had been in. She didn't want to think about that, especially when she was contemplating becoming a mother herself. For a moment she hated Grissom for putting her on this case. Until she realised that it was her fault that he didn't know not to put her on this case, she resolved to tell him more things about herself when she had the chance, starting with her current plans, and then moving on from there, '_if he still wants to talk to me.'_

Sara drew in a deep breath to steady herself. She had only just begun thinking clearly again now that her mind was resolved on having a baby and she had run through virtually all possibilities of how Grissom could react, and now this, she needed to sleep after shift today, so that she could carry on with the case tomorrow.

'_I can do this, I need to face my demons at some point, at least I will have Grissom with me, not that he will hug me and offer me comfort if I need it. But at least he will be there, and I always have Catherine as soon as I get back to the lab. Oh God I can't do this.'_

Trying to get some resolve into her body she grabbed her kit, pulled on her police vest, stood up, squared her shoulders and walked out into the car park to meet Grissom, hoping that it would be a simple, quick case.


	9. A truth & an Accepted Kiss

_BTW only just realised my mistake, the end f nesting dolls is now happening in the middle of committed, because I messed up the timeline but I want that section in the story still, now I just have to hope that it still works. The story line has also been tweaked and the two episodes have kind of merged. Hope it makes sense still._

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Sara walked into her apartment and just flopped, the energy of keeping all her emotions bottled up at work that day had exhausted her. She had even forgotten to ask Catherine i it had been the clinic who called and what they had said and what she had said. She groaned as she heard a knock on the door, she didn't have the energy for this. She tried to shout 'Coming' but it ended up as a murmur that she would be surprised if they heard.

She walked over to the door and undid the lock and opened it. What she saw there shocked her. It was Grissom, and he was looking annoyed. She stepped back to let him in, but he just stood there, watching her. Eventually the silence grew tense.

"Can I come in?" Sara stood there for a moment shocked before answering, he was still waiting for an invitation, he didn't want to push it with her. Her heart melted as she saw the nervous look on his face and saw his confusion at her confusion at his question.

"Yeah, sure." She whispered breathlessly, whether from confusion or tiredness Grissom didn't know and couldn't work out.

She gestured for him to sit down as she grabbed them both a beer out of the fridge, she handed one to him and sat on the chair opposite his seat on the sofa. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but when he looked up at her and saw her exhaustion, he decided that he couldn't ask her that not now. He knew that he needed to ask why she had grown so angry and resigned at work today. She had hardly spoken at the crime scene if it wasn't necessary, and as soon as they had got back she had clocked out and headed home, without even saying goodbye to Catherine.

He sighed and closed his mouth again. Sara carried on watching him, "Listen Grissom, I'm sorry about today, I wasn't prepared for it and I took my stress out on everyone else. I'll be sorted by tomorrow."

"Sara, I need to know. I need to know why you were so angry." The words escaped him before he could control them, he didn't need to know as a supervisor and as a friend he respected her right to privacy, but he still wanted to know. In the time since she had asked him out, the amount of things he wanted to know about her had only increased three-fold. He didn't need to know, but he wanted to know, he wanted to help, he wanted to help get her through whatever the problem was.

Her reply however caught him off guard, she answered his question with another question. All her passion and frustration going into the question so that it was raw with emotion. "What do you want from me?"

Grissom's mind reeled, he knew that this was the wrong time, but his mind was buzzing with possibilities of what he wanted from her. He wanted to hold her, to love her, to have her love him, to grow old with her, to make her his wife, to show the world how much he loved her, to have children with her, to go up to her and kiss her and then take her in his arms as he comforted her. He tried to push all these thoughts out of his mind. And simply replied with the reason he had come there.

"I want to know why you're so angry."

Sara sighed and slumped down in her chair. She looked at him and muttered something under her breath, before to starting to explain about her childhood and her parents.

Grissom's heart was overcome with pity and sorrow and love for the fragile creature in front of him. He listened as she unburdened herself. He listened as she explained about how her father abused her father, how her mother had been sent to a place like the one they had been in today for a while. How they had both smelled like lies. His heart almost broke as he spotted the first tear running down her face.

He resisted the temptation to hold her close as she cried, and to wipe away the tear with his finger. Instead needing to comfort her in someway he reached out his hand and took hold of hers which la on her knee while her other hand tried to cover up her face. He heard her draw in a sharp breath as he took hold of her hand. She then took hold of his fingers finding comfort and support in them.

He stroked her hand with his and just silently held her hand as she cried. Eventually she fell asleep from exhaustion, still clutching his hand. He watched as she slept, her face was still pink with pale streaks down in from crying. But he barely noticed to Grissom she still looked perfect. He stayed there holding her hand as she slept peacefully, drinking in her face and every feature from his position opposite her. He leaned down and turned her hand over. He lightly brushed his lips to the palm of her hand before taking hold of her hand again.

When he looked back up at her, her eyes were open and she was staring at him and then her hand and then back to him again.

She leaned further forward against her legs. Grissom watched carefully, he didn't know if it was too soon to kiss her and so hesitated. She saw the hesitation and began to pull back.

She stopped when she saw Grissom, now crouching on the floor in front of her, still holding her hand with one of his, while his other reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

He tilted his face upwards as she tilted her face downwards.

They both stopped about a centimetre away from each other, both sets of breathing had speeded up, and both were taking every inch of the others face into their minds, to remember. Their eyes connected.

Neither knew who made that final movement, closing that final centimetre between themselves, or if they both did. But suddenly their lips were touching, and the touch was electric. Grissom gently pried her lips open with his tongue and stroked the inside of her mouth while she did the same to him, their tongues dancing around each other lightly.

Her spare hand found its way to the back of Grissoms neck where it began toying with the curls at the base of his neck. His spare hand had found its way her waist, her it rested lightly, his thumb stroking the skin there. Eventually the need for air overcame the need for each other.

Both pulled back but only slightly and leant so that their foreheads were touching.

Eventually Grissom pulled back still slightly breathless. "Good morning Sara. I'll see you at work tonight. I'll let you get some sleep, you look exhausted. I'll ... see you later" He said lightly, brushing the skin underneath her eyes lightly with his thumb, while the rest of his hand cupped her cheek.

He leant down and kissed her tenderly before standing up, grabbing his jacket, and walking slowly to the door and heading outside.

Sara sat there not moving, her fingers lightly came up and touched her cheek her his hand had been, and then moved to her still-tingling lips.

He was right she needed to sleep, and she knew that her dreams would be pleasant and that she was not going to let him get away.


	10. Grissom's Discovery

Sara awoke and padded into the living room. She sat on the sofa, recalling the events of the night before and the kiss. She also wondered how long she had been asleep before he had woken her by kissing her hand before kissing her properly. She wondered what he had been doing, somehow she knew that he had watched her for the most part of it. Glancing at the table she saw the items littering it in a peculiar order. '_Shit!' _she thought, the item laying on top was the letter from the Munroe clinic and the leaflets about it. Including her copy of the letter she had filled in for them. Grissom must have seen them. He now knew, he hadn't said anything, but neither of them had said much after she had woken up. He also now knew that she had applied for it.

He must also have read the letter, saying that she had been accepted to continue with the process. This was before she had gone to see them, but he would soon put two and two together and work out that she had seen them if they were ringing up at work to speak to Catherine.

'_Damn It!' _She thought before glancing at the clock and dashing for the shower, hoping to get into work early to explain things to Grissom.

Her mind raced as she got into work. As she pulled up outside, her face fell, she noticed that the spot next to hers was empty, Grissom hand't come in yet. Looking across she noticed that Warrick wasn't there yet, and neither was Nick or Greg. Looking to the other side of her she noticed that Catherine was.

Heading inside she quickly dumped her coat in her locker before heading to the break room. In search of both Catherine and caffeine.

She found both in the break room. "Hey Cath" she greeted casually as she headed over to the coffee machine. She tried to conceal her nerves about both the phone call and facing Grissom.

Catherine seeing straight through her casual entrance came and stood next to her leaning against the worktop. She laid her hand on the younger womens hand and looking at her told her what had happened.

"Sara, it's fine, you can relax. I said you would be perfect, they did ask about your parents but I didn't know much about them, so I only said I didn't know but that I didn't think it would affect your parenting skills."

Sara made speechless by the kindness Catherine had spoken with and the conviction with which she said it, Sara wordlessly reached towards her and pulled her into a hug, and any remaining resentment between them was lost as Sara pulled back and Catherine placed a hand over her stomach.

"Just think" she whispered in awe, she had already gone through it and she now wanted to be there for Sara.

"Just think, you could have a baby in here soon."

"I know" Sara replied, equally awed, also placing her hand on her abdomen."

The button on the coffee machine clicked and so Sara went about making her coffee while Catherine went and sat down on the sofa.

Just as Catherine sat down, both of the ladies still smiling, Nick walked into the break room, yawning.

"Hey guys, you know you just got me thinking, maybe what Catherine was saying yesterday was right."

Sara still confused looked at Nick waiting for him to explain. "You know, about you two dating, 'cos you were just stood _very_ close then. And you _both _seem pretty happy."

Catherine replied while Sara tried to stifle her laughter as she grabbed another mug and started making Nick a coffee.

"No such luck Nicky. But I promise that should anything happen in that direction you will be the first to know, other than us two obviously."

Nick laughed and sat down at the table, as Sara offered him the cup of coffee she had made him. He took it gratefully with a smile still on his face as she sat opposite him and picked up a forensics magazine from the table.

She flicked idly through the pages pretending to read it while she waited impatiently for Grissom to arrive, while at the same time dreading his arrival.

She still needed to talk to him to explain about the clinic to him. He obviously wasn't too upset about it as he had still kissed her after he had found out. Her cheeks coloured slightly as she remembered the kiss.

She also needed to know that it wasn't just a one time thing, that he would not just leave her and ignore her again now. She needed to know that their was hope there.

But him arriving also meant work, she had never really hated work, but she hated this case. She dreaded it more than talking to Grissom about the clinic.

She tried to force it from her mind until she was forced to confront it. Instead her mind found something to think about she had only just realised. If the kiss was more than just a kiss, if he was ready for more, and how she hoped he was, then did she still need to use the clinic. She had spent time trying to work out how to tell him, maybe she didn't need to explain it to him. Maybe she didn't need to have a stranger's child after all.

Maybe the baby she could have, could be the baby she had secretly wanted all along.

She could have Grissom's child, he could be the father of her child, and she could be the mother of his.

Her mind exalted at this and she forced her expression to remain neutral and not to grin like a fool at this happy thought.

She definitely needed to see Grissom, obviously she wouldn't ask him outright if she could have his kids, but she could get a feel about if they had a chance, and if they did she could then mention about not going to the clinic anymore.

Her thoughts drifted happily over the future she and Grissom could have, and all the fun they could have as they tried for kids.

Her fingers ached to touch his face again, her body ached to have hers and his pressed up against each other. She even found herself wondering what his beard would feel like against her cheek and whether it would tickle and why she hadn't felt it the first time.

Her mind still wandering she didn't notice as everyone gathered around the table as the very man she was contemplating started heading towards the room.

Everyone looked up and greeted him in their own ways as he entered the room,

"Hey Griss!" "Hi boss" A casual wave and a nod of acknowledgment. All except Sara, this was rare for Sara. None of them knew what she was contemplating and so what was taking up her attention as she idly flicked through the magazine still.

Everyone looked at her just because they were curious about what she was looking at or thinking about. Grissom eventually broke the silence and her concentration.

"Sara."

"Hi" she said back breathlessly, speechless at the sight of the man in front of her. She couldn't believe that just seeing him stood there now had that effect on her. As Grissom's eyes showed concern as he continued to look at her, her cheeks coloured slightly as she remembered some of the more graphic details she had just been imagining.

Grissom smiled slightly, "Right everyone, you still all have cases to go solve. So go on ... scoot. Sara I need to see you in my office."

With that everyone began dispersing to their various places, Sara followed Grissom down to his office. She stepped in and found him stood right in front of her as she turned after opening the door.

She heard his heavy breathing and noticed that the blinds were closed. After she saw his eyes however, they captivated her and she saw nothing but them. But she was aware of his proximity towards her and how her breathing had also increased in speed.

He slowly reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his hand lingering as it touched her cheek. He licked his lips, and she found herself doing the same.

Slowly and almost hesitantly he leaned towards her. He caught her lips with his and began to kiss her, after feeling her respond, he grew more confident.

He slowly and leisurely kissed her and found himself getting caught up in the moment.

He pulled back reluctantly, slightly breathless just from his proximity to Sara. He forced himself to step away from her. He indicated the chair opposite his, and Sara taken aback at his sudden change sat down silently.

He walked around to his chair, he looked up at Sara and sighed. He didn't want to say what he had to say, he knew it would upset and hurt Sara and he didn't want to do that.

"Sara, that wasn't why I asked you to my office." He looked down so as not to have to look at her face as he said this. "I need to talk to you. I need to ask you something, and I'm sorry if this hurts you, that's not what I want to do. But I need to know. Whatever you say I still will want to see you and go out with you if you'll allow me. But I still need to know what you want to do. Sara, _please_, tell me."

He drew in a deep breath before continuing, not knowing how to phrase it. In the end he just said it outright. "I know about the Munroe clinic."


	11. Reactions

Sara sat staring at the desk, not wanting to look at Grissom, now wanting to answer him, but not wanting to leave with his questions unanswered, knowing that this would hurt him.

Instead she sat there in silence, not knowing what to say.

"Sara" she heard Grissom say softly, "I _need _to know"

Still resigned she said in a hard voice, still staring at the table. "What do you want to know Grissom? What is there to know?" Grissom didn't respond partly shocked at the hardness in Sara's voice and partly because he just didn't know what to say. After a pause Sara continued, answering her own questions.

"You already know all there is to know. I'm going to the Munroe clinic, I want a child, I'm obviously not going to have yours. I don't want anyone else's. I don't need anyone else. What more is there to know?"

"Sara -"

He was cut off by Catherine opening the door, "Hey Griss? Oh sorry, didn't realise you were with Sara, I'll wait outside."

Grissom opened his mouth to thank her and tell her he would find her later until Sara cut him off.

"No Cath, it's fine, there's nothing more to explain. I'll see you later in the break room." And with that she walked out of Grissom's office not even looking back at Grissom.

"Sorry Griss. I didn't mean to interrupt anything." Grissom sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, even though he hadn't been wearing his glasses before. "It's fine Cathrine, you're here now, what did you want?"

"I was just going to say can I borrow your authority to get Hodges to push my stuff to the top of the pile. We need it desperately before the suspect has a chance to run out of the state."

"Yeah sure, go tell Hodges I told him to." Catherine nodded and opened her mouth to say something else. Noticing Grissom's pained and defeated expression she closed her mouth and quietly left the office, deciding to leave him alone with his thoughts for a while. She could always talk to him later, she was more likely to find out what had happened off Sara anyway. But first she needed to go bully Hodges.

* * *

Sara sat on a stool, looking through more evidence, writing things down with one hand and controlling the microscope with the other. Grissom leaned against the frame of the door remembering the last time he had done that. Not many things had happened but things had altered more than he thought they would.

He had kissed her and she had kissed him back. She still wanted to have a baby with a stranger though, '_Damn it, if she wants a baby that bad I'll give her one.'_

In that single moment, in that one thought, Grissom felt everything alter. He discovered the husband he wanted to be, the father in him. that he wanted to have children, Sara's children, to bring up a beautiful daughter as beautiful as her mother, or have a son and explain about all the bugs and insects in the garden to him. He had considered the idea before, but never before had it felt so right, so perfect, that if he didn't do that with his life then he had wasted it. The urge to go up to her and embrace her was as strong as the last time he had been there. Amplified now because he knew what it felt like to stand so close to her, and to hear her breathing falling into time with his. He shook his head to bring him back into the present before walking into the room.

He went and stood next to Sara's stool, waiting for her to finish that note before interrupting her. After a few moments she laid her pen down and looked up at Grissom.

"Sara. I'm sorry for this morning. I didn't need to ask you about what I did. It's your body, your choice. I had no right to expect you to tell me about it. But I do want you to know," at this point he reached down and took her hands in his, "I'll be there for you whatever you decided every step of the way. And I would also like to ask you to dinner tonight. Would you care to join me?"

Sara simply nodded, not trusting her voice, she was almost in tears again both from Grissom's apology and his proposal. But what really got to her was that she knew he meant every word. He might not agree with it but he would support her and he would still go out with her even though she was still going through with it.

Sara looked up into his eyes and saw a tender expression shown in them, and wouldn't have been surprised to know that she had a similar tenderness showing in her eyes as she gazed at him, both still holding onto the others hands.


	12. Pillow Talk

_Sorry about how short it is, but I reached where I wanted the chapter to end earlier than I thought, but never mind, a little variation keeps things interesting, right?_

* * *

The atmosphere between them now considerably lighter and more pleasant, Grissom and Sara sat in his office with the door open discussing the case. They had not been discussing it for long when Greg came in, a pillow wrapped in an evidence bag held in his hands.

Grissom sat there listening to Greg talk, he knew he should be focusing on what he was saying, and he knew that part of his brain was listening and filing the information so that he would know it later, but he couldn't think of anything except Sara.

He could not wait for tonight, the atmosphere between them was now pleasant again, and she had agreed to go out with him, _that night._ His mind was revolving around how he would actually be able to tell her how beautiful he thought she was, where he would take her and what she would think.

He forced himself to watch Greg and try to listen to him but could not himself glancing at Sara every so often as she listened to Greg. He finally managed to get the forefront of his brain to focus and managed to pick up that Greg was saying the pillow was the murder weapon. The details still didn't quite register though.

He sat his face watching Greg but his eyes on Sara. He watched in horror as Greg pretended to smother Sara with the pillow. He knew that it was just playful teasing, that he was nowhere near Sara's face and that he wouldn't actually hurt her. But his mind still raced even at the idea.

He felt as though someone had reached in and grabbed his heart and was pulling at it as he considered what it would be like if Sara did get hurt or anything happened to her.

He forced his mind away from the possibility as Sara started speaking saying that they now had a murder weapon. But he still glared at Greg with barely suppressed anger. Sara noticed this and thanked Greg and asked him to go check some evidence for her.

As he left she looked back at Grissom. He was now staring into space, a hurt expression on his face. Sara scared of what had caused it spoke in a quiet whisper rather than at a normal volume.

"Griss? Griss, you OK?" She was taken aback when she saw a tear forming in his eye. He wiped it away roughly before she reaching across the desk and taking hold of her hand. His voice was raw with emotion when he replied.

"Sara, please be careful. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you. This is before we're going out and I still think my world would end if something happened that took you away forever.

Sara was made speechless for the second time that day, she knew her and Grissom were now closer after he had asked her out as though the promise of being open with the other was already affecting them both. But she wasn't prepared for this much emotion to seep through, she had never thought that he would show strong emotion or even that much affection.

She gripped his hand which was holding hers tightly, as though afraid to let go. "Grissom, I'm not going anywhere. You're not going to get rid of me that easily. Not after its taken me this long to get you." As she had hoped he smiled slightly. He squeezed her hand before letting go as he stood up.

"Come on, we've got a case to close. You gonna be OK going back to the place?"

Sara nodded, putting a brave face on, which she knew Grissom saw right through. "Yeah, I'm tough girl. Give me a challenge. Besides the quicker we close this, the quicker shift ends and then the quicker I get to go out with you, with no Catherine or Greg around to bother us."

"Oh, do you mean I wasn't meant to ask Catherine if she wanted to join us?" He asked pleasantly before picking up his kit and heading in the direction of his car.


	13. Confrontation & Arrangement

Sara stood there stunned staring after the retreating figure of Grissom. '_He can't be serious. He wouldn't invite Catherine along. He specifically said date. Well, maybe not specifically, but he certainly implied it. I need to go have a word with him.'_

She quickly picked up her own kit from its place in her locker and then hurried out into the car park to find Grissom leaning, smiling, against his SUV, waiting for her.

"You didn't think I was been serious did you?" he shouted quickly across before going and opening the door and sitting in the car.

It took Sara a moment to get moving again after this. She grinned, she had always known that a relationship with Grissom would be with a slightly different Grissom than at work, but she hadn't expected it to be so ... well ... fun. She had expected there to be joking and laughing but not teasing, from him, this early on in the relationship, they hadn't even had their first official date yet!

She climbed into the passenger side before lightly poking him in the ribs, "You owe me for that. Big Time! _That_ was not nice."

She then looked straight ahead and out of the window, still smiling.

Grissom quietly chuckled to himself before turning the key in the ignition, pulling out of the car park, and driving down to the institution.

Once they arrived all teasing stopped and outwardly they appeared professional despite working so closely with each other in the same areas, mainly in a room with a window though, just to make sure.

Sara was staring at the rock when she was dimly aware of Grissom wandering off muttering something about a locked drawer and needing a key. She smiled at it, it was a typical Grissom moment, he had his mind set on checking the drawer and so went to find something or someone to open the drawer leaving everyone around him in the lurch.

Grissom walked down the corridor. Aiming for the security guard at the far end of the corridor, he would either have a key, or if not know who did have the key. He started talking to him asking him about which keys he had on him.

He didn't even see the person approaching the room he had just left, and instead ended up walking out of the corridor and into another room.still in search of some keys. Finally he found someone able to open the drawer and followed them down the corridor back to the room he had just left.

Reaching it he waited, confused, as the man he was following didn't enter the room, until he noticed that the door was locked. '_Sara wouldn't lock the door, and none of the doors here have automatic locks on them. What's happening in their? Is Sara OK?'_

Moving he went to the window which looked into the room to see what was happening. He froze at what he saw. Sara was on the floor, Adam behind her, holding a weapon to her neck.

He knew that Adam wouldn't hesitate to use it if he had to, he also knew that he would be entirely unpredictable. His mind unable to focus, not wanting to register what he saw in there also saw a syringe uncapped but full laying discarded on the floor behind them.

'_She must have tried to fight her way out. Please be OK Sara _please_ be OK.'_

He heard himself tell the man to open the door heard him mumble some excuse of not having the right key.

"Please open the door." He heard himself, almost begging as Sara looked up and saw him, their eyes locked only for a second but it conveyed everything to Grissom.

How scared she was feeling, that she knew how unpredictable Adam was, that she knew how dangerous the situation was, that she was now helpless with her attempt having failed. And also that she needed his help to get her out.

His mind raced thinking of possible courses of action, but nothing could be done until the door was open and Sara could be dead by then.

He dimly registered footsteps running in from another direction and a voice shouting Adam through the glass. What he did register was the second his arm let go of Sara, the moment she realised she was free and ran out, and the look of horror, anger, pain and fear on her face as she ran out of the room, and carried on running, slamming her fists on the mesh in front of the window.

He stared after her, not knowing what to do or what to say. It registered with him that Adam by now would already be dead, he vaguely registered Nurse McKay shouting at him, blaming him for Adam's death. He simply stood there until she stopped and shouted at someone else to get the paramedic. He then went towards Sara, slowly giving her time to hear his approach in order to comfort her.

He placed a hand on her shoulder and she wordlessly reached across her body and took hold of it with her hand. Neither saying anything, neither knowing what to say.

-----------------------------

Grissom listened painfully as Sara told him that her mother had been sent to a place like there for a while. That it was virtually identical and equally as twisted. Grissom could see that the memory hurt her and he just stood there listening, still not knowing how to respond, in the end he simply took hold of Sara's hand with his and held it. He suddenly found her sobbing into his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair with one, while the other just held onto her.

In a surprisingly short space of time he heard her sobs begin to subside and she raised her head and smiled at him appreciatively.

"Come on, I'll take you to the hospital to get you checked out and then if they say I can I'll take you back to your apartment."

She opened her mouth to object, he quickly shushed her by placing a finger over it, "No objections" he told her softly. "I don't care if you say you're fine, you're still going to get checked out, even if just to make me feel better."

She nodded silently and took hold of his hand, still needing the support it brought as he led her out and into the car.

En route to the hospital they swung by the CSI building, Sara stayed in the car while Grissom took her kit back in along with his, picked up their coats from the lockers and signed them both out at the front desk.

At the hospital Grissom got her seen quickly and with a minimum amount of fuss. The verdict was good, apart from a few scratches and bruises and been a bit shaken up she was fine. The doctor did advise though that she not remain alone for an extended period of time for the next 48 hours, just in case. Grissom thanked him and then led her out back to his car.

"Right that settles it, assuming its OK with you, I'm crashing on your couch tonight."

"Gri-" he cut her off.

"No you heard the doctor, your not to remain alone for the next 48 hours and I don't want anything to happen to you. Although if you want I can ask one of your neighbours to stay with you and I'll pick you up for work in the morning."

"Grissom I can drive."

"No you can't, your cars still at work." Sara quietly cursed under her breath, it was still at work. She didn't know any of her neighbours well enough for them to watch out for her tonight, but the last thing she needed was Grissom there. She didn't want to complicate things further even if he was just on the couch.

They carried on driving in silence, both with their own thoughts. '_Someone needs to watch over Sara tonight, but I don't think she's that close to any of her neighbours though. Why did I go and offer? I know I want her to be OK, but I don't want to make things worse and I don't want to scare her away either.'_

"Grissom" Sara suddenly said, "Where are you going? You've just driven straight past the road to my apartment, and you are now on the road to yours."

Grissom blushed, "Sorry, I guess I was on auto-pilot. Do you want me to turn around or do you mind if we just crash at mine tonight?"

"No that's fine, we can just go to yours, on one condition. I still get the bed."

"Deal" both now smiling slightly at the odd arrangement Grissom drove the short distance to his house. Suddenly a thought occurred to him, "How do you know where I live? The only person I've ever had round from work was Catherine. And she still can't remember where it is without directions." Sara smiled coyly, "I thought it was just general knowledge, I know it was one of the first address's I learnt when I arrived in Nevada."

Grinning, Grissom pulled up outside his townhouse. "Come on, lets get you inside and let you get some rest. I just need to grab a spare blanket and then I'll go crash on the couch." Sara giggled, he looked at her questioningly. "A big tough man like you needing a blanket? Sorry, it was just the way you phrased it." She linked her arm in his, still laughing as he opened the door for her to the car.

They then headed inside the house, Sara still giggling, while Grissom muttered about his need of blankets and questioning what else he was meant to call them.


	14. Together

_NB this chapter was originally 2 chapters, but both were too short so clumped them together, hence the disjointed feeling in the middle_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Sara was still giggling as he led her inside. What she saw inside didn't surprise her, it was just an extension of Grissom, everything about ti seemed to suit him perfectly, and she felt oddly enough at home in it as well. She sat down on a chair which Grissom had steered her towards as he went to go dig out some 'blankets' from the cupboard. Hearing him still muttering Sar burst into another set of silent giggles. He came back in and dumped what he had grabbed onto the couch back as he went into the kitchen to grab them both a drink.

"What do you want to drink?" he shouted through.

Sara managed to control her giggling enough to stand up and follow him into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe she asked "What've you got?"

He rambled off a list of the usual stuff. "A beer sounds good" she replied and as he started to protest she cut in swiftly "Griss, I don't have a concussion and I'm not in shock, you did offer beer and as a host you shouldn't retract an offer." Grissom huffed jokily and opened the fridge, grabbing out two beers he nudged her in the direction of the living room as he headed there as well.

They both sat on the sofa next to each other and sipping from their beers. Both just happy for the moment to be so close to each other and so not feeling the need to speak. Eventually Grissom did actually speak.

"Sara, "he whispered softly, afraid that what he said would upset Sara and that it would also destroy the closeness which had grown between them. "Are you sure you're OK?"

"Grissom I told you I'm fine." She whispered back equally softly.

"You really did worry me back there you know? Especially seen as I had only just realised how much I needed you."

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Grissom suddenly smiled slightly, "Hey you know what I've just realised? I'm the one who left you alone and the one who should be apologising but you're apologising for hurting me. It was my fault in the first place." His smile fell as he turned his face to look at Sara. "I really am sorry. I shouldn't have left you there, and I should have done something instead of just watching."

Sara thought for a moment before grabbing Grissom's beer and placing it with hers down on the table. She then sat back down facing him and took both his hands in hers and looked him directly in the face.

"Grissom. This is not your fault. He would've come in either way, at least this way he didn't hurt either of us, whereas if we were both there he probably would have hurt us. It is not your fault. It never will be. And I don't want you to feel like it is."

They both stared at each other, Sara in concern over Grissom and Grissom letting Sara's words sink in.

What he did next surprised them both, he kept hold of her hands and leant forward and kissed her. First gently and then more confidently as he felt her shock disappear.

Sara pushed him down onto the sofa as the kiss continued to deepen, she started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. Suddenly he pulled away.

"Stop, Sara stop." He whispered breathlessly, but he didn't pull away. But carried on speaking regretfully.

"Sara, we can't do this. It's not fair ... on you."

----------------------------

"Griss, how is it not fair on me? I've wanted this from the moment I met you. How is it not fair to me?"

"Sara, I don't want to harm your career. And also I'm too old for you. I wouldn't be here for long enough, and I couldn't leave you alone for that long. I love you too much to hurt you that way."

"Grissom, you are just as healthy if not healthier than me. There's not that big an age gap between us. And if work is a problem ... I'll ask to change to the day-shift. Griss ... Gil, I love you too. And this is the only way that you won't hurt me, at least let us be together first before have to not be together."

"Sara, I'm your supervisor. Having said that, I already failed that test when I first fell for you at that conference."

Sara stared at him, he had liked her for that long, but he hadn't done anything, just because of the age gap and because he was scared of hurting her.

She opened her mouth to ask him about it, but stilled when he reached out and tucked some hair behind her ear, he then captured her mouth with his, and all questions were forgotten.

Sara after a moment returned to fumbling with his buttons on his shirt. As Grissom began also undoing her shirt buttons, as she moved to pull his shirt off and to pull hers off she wobbled. Grissom reached out to try and steady her but only unbalanced himself as both fell off the couch.

Standing up he picked up Sara and resumed kissing her as he carried her to the bedroom, both of them losing clothing on the way.

They spent hours together, taking their time, exploring every inch of the others body, finding where was sensitive on the other and just rejoicing in how close they had become before pulling the covers over them and falling asleep next to each other.

Sara awoke only a few hours later to find Grissom watching her and stroking her arm.

They made slow lazy love before falling asleep again, this time spoon-fashion in each others arms, both smiling in their sleep.


	15. Fear, Fleeing & Final Decisions

_NB it now goes away from the show so there is a large break after committed before it gets to scenes you will recognise from the TV again_

_just to let you know so you weren't wondering if this was on the show._

* * *

Sara awoke and padded into the unfamiliar kitchen on bare feet, she grabbed her shirt from the living room and shrugged it on after pulling on her trousers from the corridor to the bedroom.

She found the coffee machine and quickly set it going, she hugged herself close, as she realised what she had done last night. '_God, what have I done? I can't believe what we did last night.' _

Her mind returned to memories of last night, it was more incredible than she had imagined was possible. She still needed to think though. She still wanted a child, but she wanted one soon. She wanted Grissom's but knew that that wouldn't happen, not for some time at least. She needed to think.

The coffee boiled and she grabbed a mug and poured it in quickly. Gulping down the hot liquid she didn't hear as Grissom approached her.

He came up behind her and hugged her from behind. Sara relaxed her head onto his shoulder and held the coffee in her hand. Grissom reached past her grabbed the coffee and drank the last mouthful down.

Sara suddenly realised what she was doing and that she still needed to think.

"I, I have to , ermmm, get back. I need to get changed before work."

"OK, give me a second to get dressed properly and I'll drive you back."

She dumbly nodded as he left to go get dressed, shouting through that she would go get the bus instead, she grabbed her purse from the table and ran out of the house after fumbling with the lock on the door.

She reached the bus stop near his house just as the bus pulled up. Muttering the stop to the driver and pulling some money out, she hurried to a seat and sat down. Glancing out of the window she saw Grissom staring out of his bedroom window at the bus, a defeated and confused look on his face.

* * *

Grissom sat on the sofa they had both been together on a few hours before, his head in his hands. Wondering what had gone wrong and if she was OK.

He remembered the look he saw on her face as she had sat down in the bus, shaken almost terrified, full of sadness, but what he feared the most was the regret he had seen in her eyes.

'_Please don't let her be regretting last night. Please don't me have hurt her, I even tried to stop but she seemed ready. I can't believe I ruined everything so much. It was too soon after what had happened at the crime scene.' _He forced his mind away from the memory of Sara defenseless been held down on the floor. But his mind only jumped back to the image of her that morning.

'_She looked _so _beautiful. No wonder she ran away, what would a woman like that want with me anyway?'_

His mind also saw the pain in her eyes as she had told him she had to go, was it pain at what she had done or at the fact that she was leaving? He didn't know and couldn't work out which. He forced himself to move, to get a coffee, and then to take a shower. His mind constantly running over last night, the hours they had spent with each other, waking up to see her there with him, the rightness of it all.

Waking up to find himself alone in bed, walking into the kitchen to see her holding herself and almost shaking, his inability to comfort her when she still needed it, her pained expression as she told him she needed to go, her reluctance to accept his offer of help, and her face gazing up at him from the window of the bus.

He forced himself to do all the routine things that morning, not to drive over to Sara's and see if she was OK. She obviously needed some time alone. He made breakfast, got dressed, caught up on some paperwork he still had with him from work, ordered some groceries, tidied up the kitchen, picked up the cushions they had dislodged off the couch. All the time trying to force his mind away from all images and thoughts of Sara, and fruitless attempts to work out what she had been thinking and whether she was OK. And failing utterly.

* * *

Sara sat on the bus on the way back to his apartment, remembering Grissom's face. '_Please don't let him be too hurt by this. I just needed some time to think. That night was so incredible. I just didn't want him to realise how bad the mistake he made was. I wanted to remember it well, at least now when he severs all ties between us it won't be at the end of the first memory and that one can stay happy.'_

She broke down, still sat on the bus, tears silently rolling down her cheeks as she sat staring out of the window, and seeing nothing but his face as the bus had driven away. She arrived at home, mind now racing. Refusing to let her mind think about doing what she had decided to do. Grabbing a small suitcase from the top of her wardrobe she grabbed some clothes out of her wardrobe and her toothbrush and anything else she could think of which she would need, placed them all in the suitcase and closed it. Dragging it behind her she went into the living room, leaving her suitcase by the door she went to the phone table, after jotting down the number of the clinic of some paper she then pushed into her back pocket, she called a Taxi, to take her to the CSI building, left a quick answerphone message on Catherine's phone. And walked out of the door to wait for the cab.

While she sat on her suitcase waiting she pulled out the number from her back pocket. Fingering the scrap of paper nervously in her hand, she ran over all the options in her mind, but still stayed focused on what her aim was and made her decision.

Rummaging around in her purse until she found her cell phone she pulled it out and typed in the number from the paper.

Staring at it for a moment she slammed the phone shut. After a few moment she opened the cell phone and typed the number back in.

Taking a deep breath in she pressed the call button and held the phone to her ear shuffling the paper in her free hand nervously.

"Good Afternoon, Munroe clinic."

"Hi, this is Sara Sidle, can I make an appointment with Dr. Mac please?"

"Of course Miss. Sidle, can I enquire as to the kind of appointment you need, and when would you like it?"

"As soon as possible please."

"Hold on one second please, is 9:00 tomorrow morning ok?"

"It should be, can I call you back to confirm in about 10 minutes?"

"That's absolutely fine Miss. Sidle." Sara shut the phone, climbed into the newly arrived taxi. Climbed out again at the CSI building before calling the clinic back after thinking for a few moments.

'_Am I ready?' _She wondered as they drove, '_Yes, and nothing is going to change my mind this time. I made my decision and I'm going to stick with it!'_

"Hello Munroe clinic" The woman answered.

"Hi this is Sara Sidle we spoke about 10 minutes ago. Yes 9:00 tomorrow is perfectly fine if it is still available."

"Yes Miss. Sidle it's still available. I'll just book you in. May I enquire as to the purpose of the appointment please, so I can inform Dr. Mac more throughly?"

"I've made my decision." She said shortly before shutting the phone and setting off to find a hotel near the clinic.


	16. Poor girl & leaving

Grissom was still confused as he got into work, he pulled up next to Sara's empty space. Not even registering that her car should still have been there. As he had promised the night before he had drvien by her apartment to pick her up only to find that she wasn't there, thinking she must have got another bus or got a taxi he carried on to work.

He sat in his office, listening to the signs of people walking by on their way to the break room, Catherine had arrived and entered the break room before discovering a message on her phone and scurrying back outside where there was a better reception. Warrick had also arrived early and was sat in the break room talking to Nick who had arrived recently.

Grissom stood up in order to go to the break room to see how everyone was doing and to hand ou assignments, having put it off for as long as possible in the hope that Sara would come and find him. So he hadn't moved so he didn't miss her. As he realised why he had sat tere as long as he could it finally registered that he hand't beard her enter and her car wasn't there. Puzzled he moved towards the door, only to be pushed back as Catherine came into the room without knocking, as was usual for her.

She took an authorative tone of voice which immediately shocked Griss so much that he actually did as she said without even realising that she never normally ordered him.

"Grissom, go sit back down now! Stay here until I come back, I'll give out the assignments today while you stay here. You will _not _move from that chair until I return. Hand me the assignments and sit down. Do you understand?"

He nodded dumbly as he handed the assignments over and sat back down in his chair. By the time Catherine arrived back he had regained control of his thoughts and was trying to control the anger he felt as a result of his confusion with Sara by trying to work out why Catherine had been so ... direct.

He looked at her as she entered back in, but felt taken aback again as she started scolding him.

"What the hell did you do to the poor girl Grissom? All I got was a lousy message on my answerphone, she didn't pick up her phone and then Judi tells me that you gave her permission to have time off for 'personal reasons' all I can tell from the message is that it is something to do with you, and something to do with the clinic. What the hell did you say to her and do to her Grissom? Sara isn't the kind to run away and hide, she'd fight. What on earth did you do to make her stop fighting?" She panted slightly breathlessly after this outburst, glaring at him feircely as she waited for a reply.

"Catherine, right now you seem to know more than me but I only caught about 3 words of that. Sit down and say it slowly, what's wrong with Sara and what did she tell you?" He asked outwardly calm but inside in turmoil, she was taking time off work, Judi seemed under the impression that she had cleared it with him, that meant it had to be something to do with him. And why was she still talking about the clinic?

Catherine's words were drowned out as he realised that if Sara had gone to the clinic and was trying time off to do it that she was still planning to have a baby from a donor. '_Does that mean she does regret last night? Why does she still feel the need to have someone elses baby? It must have been obvious last night that I would do anything for her. _Please _don't let me have hurt her, or forced her into this. Who am I kidding? I'm the reason she needs to do this. If I hadn't flirted with her before pushing her away so often she would have found someone else, then she could have had a child with them. Why did she keep waiting for me though? There's no way I'm worthy of her efforts. Or of her.'_

It suddenly struck Grissom how much it must have hurt her over the past few years for her flirting to be accepted and returned, but for her advances to be forced away and ignored. He only just realised what had been growing on him since the night before. How much Sara liked him, loved him even. She had told him she did last night, and he finally believed her. He couldn't believe how blind he had been when it had come to his personal life. He knew he hid from it but he only just realised how much he ignored it.

He vowed that he would be more open from now on, but he knew that he wouldn't stick to it, a lifetime of habits were too well ingrained into him. He changed it to vow that he would at least be more aware that there was life outside work. And it was open to him. '_At least it was, I hope it still is.'_

Catherine who had been shouting and ranting again and had reached the end as the need to breathe overtook her need to shout at Grissom. He just caught the last phrases.

"-e poor girl, what the hell did you do to her?"

"We made love." He whispered quietly, barely audibly, more to himself than to Catherine as he was asking himself the same question.

"God Grissom, I know your not up to date on relationships but you must have realised she liked you I me-" She froze mid-word, as she actually realised what he had said and not what she had been expecting to hear, her expression changed for annoyance to confusion and then to disbelief, quietly she asked him, "Wait, did you just say what I think you said?"

Grissom didn't answer he just looked up at her. His eyes told her everything she needed to know, more open than they usually work, a tear forming in the corner of one eye, but both of them full of pain and confusion. She could only watch as he slowly broke down in front of her. The man who had always kept his feelings hidden had finally had them opened, and everything was coming out. His eyes were staring and faced the desk as tears began to roll down his face, slowly and silently.

Catherine went round to the other side of the desk and pulled him into a hug. Something Grissom would never normally accept, but he just clung to her as he cried softly. Finally he looked up at Catherine, a note of pleading and desperation in his voice as he let go of her. "Catherine, what did she say? What's she doing?"

Catherine snow crouched in front of him told him all she knew.

"She called me and left me a voice message, it didn't even ring. All it said was that she was fine and not to worry, she was taking some time off work, and that she was safe. She was arranging a meeting at the Munro clinic and she would call again in a few days. That's all I know, that's all she wanted me to know. She said she would call soon and I'm sure she will, I'll let you know if anything major happens."

Grissom finally took hold of himself, he turned back into supervisor. "Did you tell the team anything this morning?" She nodded, "I told them that she was taking some time off for personal and that it would be appreciated if they didn't try and work out why or debate amongst themselves where and why she was gone. I also told them that all I knew was that Judi told me this morning saying that it was cleared with you. I also told them that you didn't know any specifics, and that you had only granted the time off so that we didn't lose her permanently."

Grissom smiled weakly. "Thanks Cath, anyway I have some case documentation to finish writing up, Brass has already arrested her for incest. So I need to finish the paperwork really before I start on a new case. I'll let you get back to your case as well now." Catherine wordlessly took his hand and squeezed it quickly before walking out of the door to go catch up on her case while Grissom settled down to some work to take his mind off Sara.

----------------------------------------

A month had passed and Grissom was almost pulling out his hair in frustration, Sara had still not come back. She called Catherine every few days but hadn't once tried to speak to him. He had begged Catherine to tell him everything but she just annoyingly smiled and said that she knew nothing anyway, but that she was fine and not to worry. He was arriving early at work and leaving late, needing to take up all the time he could with useful thoughts so that he didn't drive himself completely insane with constant thoughts of Sara.

He was working late, again, when Catherine bobbed her head into his office before she left. "Just to let you know Griss, she'll be back this afternoon. I'm off to go meet her for breakfast though now and fill her in on what shes missed while she's been gone. You need to eat, go get some breakfast. See you tomorrow." She vanished as soon as she had appeared, Grissom was only sure that he had seen her because he could hear her footsteps retreating down the corridor. His mind raced, this afternoon. He needed to go change and shower and trim his beard and have some breakfast. He knew that he had plenty of time but he also wanted to grab a few hours sleep.

He longed to follow Catherine and go meet Sara now, but instead he forced himself to tidy up his office, and then calmly walk out of the building. Drive home and go to bed. All the time wondering waht she needed to discuss with Catherine so urgently that it could not wait until tomorrow.

-------------------------------------

Catherine drove down to the address Sara had given her. '_Why does she want to meet before she gets back? It's probably to ask about Grissom. She knows that he told me that they slept together, it's probably to see how he's doing and to ask what I told the rest of the team. That and she probably just needs to see a friendly face. I still can't believe they finally slept together after all this time. Finally." _She was still shocked by the way Grissom had described it, she knew that he wouldn't sleep with someone with no emotion involved, but he wouldn't say that they hade 'made love' unless he actually loved her and probably knew that she loved him. She turned it over in her mind as she pulled up outside the hotel Sara had told her.

Climbing out of the car she noticed that it was just average. Not cheap but not expensive. Corporate style, normal. There wasn't much else that could be said about it. She walked over to the elevator and went up in it to the 3rd floor. Walking along the corridor until she reached the room number Sara had told her. She then stopped and knocked on the door. It was opened by a distracted but happy looking Sara. Catherine had chance to notice the hand placed subconsiously over her abdomen before been greeted with a warm hug and ushered inside and into a seat.

Sara greeted Catherine warmly, happy to finally see a familiar friendly face. She had spoken to her on the phone, but she wanted Catherine's help in knowing how to break it to everyone and especially to Grissom. She also didn't want to break the news over the phone, she saw from her friends face however that she already knew.

Catherine looked at Sara and especially at the hand placed over her abdomen. "So" she asked "you went through it then? You actually went to the clinic and chose a donor?"

Sara looked at the floor not knowing how to phrase what she wanted to tell her. Catherine reached across and took hold of her hand. "Sara if you're happy then I'm happy. So go on spill, what kind of man did you choose?"

Sara smiled, "Oh ermmm, average height, dark hair, blue eyes, also works in science-" Her smile changed into a grin as she saw Catherine expression change from curiosity to disbelief to amazement and then finally to excitement. "You mean Grissom?" She interupted, almost squeaking out the words in her excitement. Sara's grin told her all she needed to know. "Ooooooooooh" She squealed at her before pulling her up into a hug. Sara hugged her back before both women stopped and just faced each other, they suddenly burst out laughing as Catherine squealed at Sara again and placing her hand on her still flat stomach.

"Well, seen as you're not allowed champagne, I think this occassions requires shopping, you won't be able to fit in those for much longer. But first details, how many week far gone are you so far?"


	17. Catching Up & Saying Hi

Sara told Catherine everything she could think of, how she had had the meeting with Dr. Mac where she had told him that it wouldn't be happening but thanking him for all his help and support. How when she had realised she was late she had driven to the nearest three pharmacies and purchased one of every brand of pregnancy test they had in each one. She told her everything except the precise details of that night (which Catherine wouldn't want to know anyway) and of the next morning (which Sara still didn't want to think about.)

As Sara started running out of things to say she began to ask Catherine what she had missed at work, and what the others had said about her going and what they had guessed at. "So whats been happening while I've been gone anyway?"

"Well, Greg's trying to convince himself that you took the time off to star in a porn film, and is hoping that you'll give him a free copy when you get back, which his girlfriend dumped him for. Nick keeps telling Greg to mind his own business, but has been polite enough not to try and guess, at least aloud, what you've been up to, and he's gained a new girlfriend. Hodges made some insensitive comment to Grissom about you going away due to an affair with a colleague gone bad, and that personally he thought it was Warrick."

Sara still laughing from Greg's version found the idea of her and Warrick together amusing, but could only manage a smile at it. As all her laughter had stopped as soon as Catherine had mentioned Grissom. "How is he?" She asked quietly. Catherine seeing how much this was worrying her and tried to make light of the situation by trying to make her laugh. "Who, Hodges? I almost had to pull Grissom away so that he didn't punch him. But he did manage to cut his hand, with what I don't know. But he only needed a few stitches."

Catherine smiled as it worked and Sara began giggling again. "How've you been anyway?" Sara managed to ask when her giggling had subsided to only the occasional chuckle. Catherine tried to dodge the question, and only answered evasively. "Oh you know, the usual. Nothing much new has happened to me."

"Catherine I may be pregnant, and I know that can turn some women to blubbering emotional wrecks, but you've got no such luck with me. I'm not going to notice you not answering my question. What's been happening, and why did you only mention Warrick in passing earlier?" As Sara had suspected at the mention of her evasion of Warrick she turned slowly pink. "Come on Cath, I 'fessed up. Now it's your turn."

"We went out for dinner."

"Cath that's great. Did it go well?"

"Yeah, I'm seeing him again tomorrow night."

"Good." Sara said decisively before adding "Just don't get yourself into the same situation as me. I don't think Grissom could cope with two emotional, hormonal women who insist on working almost up to their due date. That might be a little too much for him."

Catherine laughed but then continued talking but quietly and seriously. "He's missed you, you know? He's been a wreck worrying about you. Coming in early, leaving late, not stopping working while he's there. You need to talk to him when you get back. He really does love you, and it will kill him if he think's he's hurt you."

Sara's head which when she had started talking had drooped shot up when Catherine had said that he loved her. "Do you think he'll forgive me Cath? I didn't mean to hurt him. I just didn't know what to do."

"You dozy sheep, 'course he'll forgive you. He'd forgive you if you blew up the lab and left him in a wheel-chair." The relaxed and happier attitude back Sara quickly quipped "Dozy sheep? That the best you can do?" and threw a cushion at her.

Then laughing and throwing cushions at each other they continued teasing each other, both happy to be off the subject of guys.

Eventually they both collapsed back into the chairs, tired but still laughing. Sara gained enough breath to start speaking again. "God, I haven't done anything like that since I was about 15. I'd forgotten how tired it made you."

"And how much fun it is." Catherine agreed before both looked at each other and burst out laughing again. "God we're as bad as teenagers." Catherine managed to wheeze out. Sara recovered slightly more started gathering her last few items left and putting them into the already packed suitcase. Looking at Catherine still collapsed in the chair. "Come on, I need to check out now so we might as well head back." Catherine sighed at the prospect of moving but stood up and followed Sara out of the room.

After she had checked out, they both drove their own cars back to Sara's apartment. Pulling up outside both climbed out, Catherine spoke first.

"You gonna be alright from here? I really need to go get some sleep before shift." Sara nodded and hugged the older woman. As Catherine climbed back into her car, Sara grabbed her suitcase out of the boot of her car and headed inside her apartment.

Sighing she began unpacking her things and either putting them away or to the wash, knowing that if she left it then it wouldn't get done for a while. After that was sorted she went and got a drink of water. '_No more coffee for me for a while. Unless in very special circumstances. I can't survive 9 months without coffee. That reminds me I need to go buy some fruit, and some juice and whatever else I'm meant to eat lots of during pregnancy. First thing after shift tonight. Now, I need to sleep otherwise I'll never make it through the night.'_

Sara went into her bedroom. Happy to be back at home. She grabbed an old T-shirt and some pyjama bottoms out of a drawer and changed into them. Heading back into the living room to turn off the lights she heard a quiet tapping on the door. Opening it she saw an exhausted and defeated Grissom stood in the door. She still felt anxious about talking to him, not knowing how to tell him, all thoughts of sending him away however disappeared from her mind as he looked up at her.

His eyes had been dead, she could tell that they hadn't shown anything for days, he was on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion and was looking pained. His eyes however previously dead, lit up instantly when he saw her and she smiled lightly. Feeling the breath catching in her chest. She forced herself to breathe normally again, she couldn't believe that just seeing him still took her breath away. "Come in" she whispered still breathless.

Grissom came in and virtually collapsed onto the couch. Sara came and sat next to him in the chair next to him. "Hey Sara. Just thought I'd bob in, you know, say hi? So ... hi."

"Grissom you look exhausted. I'm fine, but I also need to sleep. How about we catch up at work tonight?"

"How can we catch up at work? You're still on leave. You're not coming in until tomorrow night."

"What?! Why won't you let me come back to work tonight?"

"Sorry Sara. Official guidelines state that if there has been a period of leave for an undetermined length of time. They can come back anytime within 3 months but they need to give a 24-hour warning. After 3 months we need a 48-hour warning. You didn't give 24-hour notice. Anyway like you said you need to rest. I'll come and see you tomorrow, when you've got back into the usual swing. You look tired, I shouldn't have come this soon after you got back. I'll let you catch up on sleep and see you tomorrow."

He stood up to leave and Sara stood up with him. They both walked to the door and Sara opened it and stood back to allow Grissom to pass. After he had gone past her he stopped and turned to face her.

"I'm glad to see you're OK Sara. Now go get some sleep, you look tired." He gently held one of her cheeks in his hand as he lightly rubbed under her eye's with his thumb. Leaning forward he kissed her slowly but gently. Pulling back he whispered. "See you tomorrow. Sleep well dear."

And with that he walked away to his car, and drove back home. Now knowing that she had arrived OK able to sleep, which he hadn't been able to before.

Sara slowly shut the door and leant against it. Shaking her head slightly she placed a hand on her stomach, muttering aloud, "You know sweetie, your dad sure knows how to say hi. And how to make him stay in my thoughts all night." Lightly touching her cheek where his hand had been moments before she walked back into the living room, turned off the lights and went to bed. Only to have dreams of her night with Grissom and the promise the kiss had held that it would happen again at some point.


	18. We didn't use anything

Sara was surprised when she woke just before evening broke later that day. She hadn't expected to get back into the rhythm of work so quickly. She had been sleeping normal hours, not night-shift hours. She had been slightly happy when Grissom had told her that she could not go back to work that night after the shock had worn off. She also knew that this way she could tell Grissom before she told the rest, she was planning to wait until the 3 month mark so that she could safely tell the others, but she wanted Grissom to know right from the beginning. She had meant to ask Catherine how she thought she could tell him, but in the excitement of catching up on what she had missed she had forgotten to ask her. And even if she had remembered it meant talking about Grissom which she wasn't quite comfortable doing yet.

She laid in bed as her plan for the day ran through her head, she decided to try and stay to her normal work timetable to help her get back into the swing of it, which unfortunately meant getting out of bed. Groaning slightly she climbed out of bed and shivered as the cold air touched her after the heat under the covers, quickly heading for the shower in an attempt to warm up again. Her mind wandered as she went onto auto-pilot, into the shower, out of the shower, dry her hair, get dressed and go grab some food. Her thoughts only stopped wandering after she had eaten, she found herself sat in the car and already driving to work. Shaking her head and smiling at what she had done, she changed direction slightly and decided to head into town instead. Everything was open 24-hours in Vegas.

She allowed her mind to wander again as she drove into town. How would she tell the others? How would she tell Grissom? Which room would she use? What colour would she paint the room? Would Grissom help her paint the room? What would everyone in work think?

After her mind had wandered aimlessly through these questions several times she found herself trying out different ways of telling them all. The only thing she knew was that she was going to tell them as a group and not individually, probably in the break room. She considered how to tell the techs but she knew that word would soon get around, that the female techs would notice anyway. She knew that she would ask Greg to be there, but she also knew that there was no way she could keep him away if he knew she was telling everyone something. Besides she didn't like the idea of Hodges been around when she told them. She didn't have anything against him personally, she just didn't want one of his sarcastic comments to ruin it all.

'_Guys, I'm pregnant. In months time there will be another mini geek around here. Lindsey is going to get a little friend soon. You're all gonna be uncles. Everyone, I'm going to be leaving you again in about 5 months, but only for a little while.'_

Her mind didn't settle on a set phrase, but she immediately ruled out lots of them. Driving through town she called by the store picking up the fruit and juice she had decided that she needed to buy earlier, the night before. As she set off to drive home she spotted a book store and pulled up outside.

After finding a few books she thought looked good she paid for them and headed back home. After tidying up what needed tidying and setting some lunch cooking slowly he curled up in a chair and started reading one of the books. She was soon engrossed in reading about all the changes which would be happening in her body in the next 8 months. She was also amazed at the changes she now knew had already happened.

She completely forgot about food which had now stopped cooking, the cooker having been turned off by the timer. She didn't realise how much time had passed until she heard a knocking on the door. Glancing up at the clock she saw that the CSI's shift had technically ended. The only people who knew she was back were Catherine and Grissom. Catherine was at dinner with Warrick. Her mind raced as she realised it was Grissom.

"Gimme a minute!" She shouted loud enough for him to Grissom as she pulled open a drawer and shoved the books she had just bought into it. She needed to tell Grissom, but she didn't want him to find out that way. Not by seeing a book.

She made her way to the door, smoothing her hair down on the way. Opening it she saw Grissom stood there, a pizza box in one hand and a single rose in the other, a grin on his face.

Sara stood back and invited him into the house, before shutting the door and following him as he wandered into the kitchen. She watched as he placed the pizza on her worktop but was still shocked when he suddenly spun around and held caught her about the waist. He leaned in and placed a quick kiss on her nose before pulling back and holding up the rose in front of him and between them. One hand still resting on her waist.

Sara reached out to take the rose, "It's beautiful, thank you." She whispered. She went and pulled a tall narrow glass vase out of the cupboard, filled it with water and placed the rose into it. Walking through to the living room she placed it on the table. Wiping away a tear which had formed at the corner of her eye as she walked back into the kitchen. She leaned against the doorframe and watched Grissom as he moved around the kitchen not knowing she was watching, she smiled as he opened almost every cupboard before finding the plates and bringing two out of the cupboard.

He noticed Sara stood in the doorway and glanced up and smiled. He picked up the pizza box and held it out to her as he opened it. "Would madam like a slice of vegetarian pizza?"

She smiled at him, "I thought you hated vegetable pizza's."

"No, I do hate them. But you don't, and your house." Sara smiled and helped herself to a slice as Grissom dished it out onto the two plates.

He carried both plates into the living room and sat down as Sara followed and sat down on the chair opposite where he sat on the couch. They chatted amiably as they finished off the pizza, Grissom grimacing slightly, Sara trying not to laugh at Grissom's expression and eating it happily. Eventually Grissom asked the question which had been laying unspoken between them.

"Sara, what did you do while you gone?"

"I relaxed, that's all. I didn't really do that much." Grissom nodded.

"OK, I know relaxing isn't a huge part of you, but I understand. But _why_ did you go?"

"I needed to think. Things happened too fast between us. And I was making a large decision at the time. I just needed some time away to think clearly and to work a few things out."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come on strong or anything. I wanted to wait until you were ready."

"Gil it's not your fault. I wanted it as much as you did. And I was the one who urged it on, you asked and I said yes."

"I'm still sorry. I should have known that you weren't ready."

"Gil, it's fine, stop beating yourself up about it. I'm back, it's fine."

"We still need to talk about us." Sara looked up slightly shocked, not knowing what he was going to say, and nervous that he would try to break it off.

"Sara. I still want there to be an us. I still want to see you. If that's alright with you?" Sara nodded silently, not knowing what to say, she had been scared he was saying that it was a mistake and then he was telling her that he wanted them to have a future. As if reading her thoughts he carried on.

"Also, I don't regret and I never will regret what happened between us that night. But I was thinking, we didn't use anything." He finished quietly and continued at the same pitch. "I mean we didn't use any protection. I'm perfectly healthy, it's not like I sleep around, because I never sleep with anyone if there is no emotion involved. And I'm assuming you're also healthy, I mean it's not like your promiscuous or anything. Not saying that you aren't attractive or that you haven't had the opportunity." He finished quickly, embarrassed at it coming out that wrong, he calmed down and was thankful for Sara's gentle smile instead of laughing at him.

"What I'm trying to say is I think it should be fine, but it was just worrying me, I didn't want anything to happen to either of us, I didn't want either of us to catch anything-" He was cut off by Sara bursting into laughter. She tried to stop but ended up just laughing harder until she fell off the chair making her laugh even more. Grissom, concerned at her odd behaviour peered at her worriedly.

"Sara are you OK?"

"I'm fine" she managed to say breathlessly still laughing, just thinking of something.

Which just set her off giggling again, _'Oh Gil Grissom, I don't think you need to worry about either of us catching anything. You still don't know what I already caught off you.'_

Finally managing to gain some control she clutched at her sides as her ribs ached from so much laughing, tears now running down her face. She asked Grissom if he would mind grabbing her a tissue out of the bottom drawer of their for me. She realised too late that it was the drawer she had hidden the pregnancy books in. Her laughter immediately stopped as she remembered. She looked up but it was already too late, he had already opened the drawer.

Silently he pulled out the box of tissues and handed them to Sara, before shutting the drawer and sitting next to her on the floor. "You went to the clinic then to become pregnant. I'm guessing it took. You're pregnant?"

Sara nodded and opened her mouth to explain that she wasn't pregnant because of the clinic, that she hadn't been there except to explain that she no longer required the services it offered, even before she had found out it was pregnant. But Gil had started talking again before she could get any words out.

"OK, maybe I don't agree 100 with what you've done. But if you're happy with it then I'm happy for you, and I'll be there to support you every step of the way. I promise. Even if you did choose to go by the scientific root. I love you Sara, and I'll support you and care for you as long as you let me, and even then I'll still try."

Sara whispered back "I love you too Grissom."

"Do you think we could change back to Gil?"

She nodded. "I love you too, Gil." She took hold of his hand and leant against his shoulder, he wrapped his arm around her and held her close, both content just to be in each other's arms.

'_Maybe it's best if I let him think that it was from the clinic. I don't want him to stay for the sake of the baby. I want him to stay because he wants to. It's probably best this way. I can at least see if he is serious about his promise before I tell him anyway. I can tell him tomorrow. But for tonight I don't want to spoil this moment.'_

She was so content that she didn't realise that she was falling asleep. Grissom looked down at her a few minutes later to see her eye's closed and her breathing even. He rubbed her arm and kissed the top of her head before resting his cheek against it, quietly whispering, "I love you Sara. I just wish that it was by baby you were carrying, our baby, and not some strangers. But I'll still love it, even if I don't know who the father is it will still be half you. And I will love it because it is half you. You look beautiful tonight, I love you."

He rested his cheek on her for a few more minutes before carefully moving and lifting her up. He carried her gently into her bedroom before grabbing a spare cover which lay at the end of the bed. He watched her sleeping under the covers for about a minute before turning off the light and moving back into the living room. After tidying up the the plates from the living room, washing them up and putting them away, he sat down on the sofa, pulled the cover over him and laid down, he listened to Sara's breathing coming from the other room then happy that she was sleeping well, he also fell asleep. Content for now just to know that she was OK, and to have her know that he loved her. He smiled in his sleep as he remembered Sara that morning, telling him that she loved him too. Her soft voice whispering it, he smiled and slept well knowing that she was safe.


	19. Invigorating Implications

Sara awoke feeling contented, but this contentedness was soon replaced by confusion. She was still fully dressed but under the covers, except she was still half-asleep and so couldn't remember getting into bed. The last thing she could remember was ... she smiled as realisation dawned on her. Grissom had obviously put her to bed after she had fallen asleep, after she had told him about her been pregnant. And he hadn't run away, he had been sweet and caring and supportive. A thought suddenly struck her interrupting the glow of warmth which had been spreading through her. '_But he doesn't know it's his! I never told him that bit.I need to tell him, soon. Having said that if he put me into bed, where is he now?'_ Her smile completely fell off her face and her dropped as she realised that if he was not in there with her, '_And he's too much of a gentleman to come and share my bed unless I invite him to. Either that or if we're ... being intimate with each other.'_ She thought and despite the fact that she was alone a slight blush still rose to her cheeks. _'He must have gone home. I need to call him later, and see him.'_

Now convinced that he must be gone she almost fell out of bed when she saw him appear in the doorway, a tray in his hands and a smile on his face. Sara discovered a smile on her own face after a moment, and try though she might she could not get it off her face. She watched as he came and sat sideways on the end of the bed, and took the tray he offered her. When she looked down at it she saw a coffee, 2 slices of toast and some pancakes, with a small bottle of squeezy syrup next to it. She looked up, her grin even wider. He half shrugged at her extra wide grin and smiled at her again. "I'm assuming you still like pancakes with syrup, and a coffee for breakfast. Well late breakfast."

Sara had already begun eating the meal but still managed to answer. "Yeah, I love them. But how did you know?"

"Sara, did you really think that all those year's I didn't take notice of what you like. Every time we went out for breakfast. How did I know you liked vegetarian pizza with extra mushrooms last night." He grinned at her confusion and took a bite from a piece of toast off the tray. Sara laughed and then carried on eating, Grissom watching her every move.

When Sara finished a thought occurred to her, she knew she could remember last night, but still felt the need to check. "Griss-"

"Eh-eh-eh" Sara smiled at his correction.

"Gil, you know last night, we didn't to anything did we?" Grissom immediately seeing in her eyes that it wasn't that she didn't trust him and that it was simply a need to check looked at her, took her hand, and said, "I crashed on the couch." Sara squeezed his hand. Now reassured, she then began getting out of bed but was shocked when Grissom still held onto her hand and didn't let go, effectively keeping her on the bed.

"You stay here, I'll go wash up."

"Gil you cooked, it's only fair that I clean." He smiled at her before picking up the tray and heading out of the door.

"Damn you and you're distracting smile Gil Grissom!" She teasingly shouted, and even though he was not in the room, Sara still instinctively knew that he would have that same smile on his face again. Her suspicions were confirmed a moment later when he walked back into her room, the smile on his face.

"That was quick, you can't have already washed them up."

"Well, you did offer to clean them." Laughing she gently punched him on the arm, before laughing harder at his false injured expression and the pout which had appeared on his lips.

"Don't you pout at me, you earned that punch." Sara laughed as he just emphasized his pout even more, and her eyes closed with laughter it was a shock when she suddenly felt his lips on hers. She immediately responded. His kisses were warm, but both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.

He began to pull back when she reached behind his head and took hold of his neck, holding him close to her. "You don't get away from me that easily." She whispered to him before kissing him firmly again while her hand still held him close to her. The other hand began to undo his shirt buttons, which he soon helped with. She rolled and pulled her with him until she was on top, pulling off her own shirt first she then pulled his off and returned to kissing him as she began undoing his belt and he started unfastening her pants.

He then rolled her until he was back on top, straightening up he watched her for a moment, her eye's dreamy and wanting and her lips still moist from his kisses. She giggled lightly at his expression before reaching up and pulling him to her again.

* * *

Afterwards they lay spoon-fashion, neither saying anything for the time-being not wanting to spoil the moment. Sara turned over to face him. She gazed at his peaceful expression and his face still smiling. '_I could tell him now'_ she thought '_but there will be other chances, lots of other chances, and he hasn't mentioned it again. And I don't want to spoil this peace between us right now.'_

She laid there and continued to gaze at him, eventually he became too self-conscious under her gaze and started talking. Neither of them talking in more than a whisper however.

"What are you going to tell the others as to why you were gone?"

"I'm not."

"Sara they're going to notice when you start getting a bump and start getting bigger."

"I'm gonna tell them that. When it's safe to tell them at 3-months I will do, but I'm not going to tell them why I was gone."

"Why not? They're going to ask."

"Because telling them that would mean I would have to tell them about the night before. Now I know Catherine knows but she won't tell Warrick and I don't really want to tell them about the night before."

"Why, do you regret it?"

"No, never. But there would just be too many questions and 1) I'd like to keep it our secret and 2) I don't really want to answer the questions?"

He looked at her asking her a question with his eyes.

"Well would you want to give them details about that night?" She quipped and smiled when Grissom slowly shook his head.

"We'll just have to see how well my plan works tonight then?"

"At work?" She nodded, and so he nodded as well. "Sara, at work, what are we going to do? I mean I don't want to have to hide from our friends, and I'd be happy to tell them about the relationship, but I still think we should be professional at work." He grinned suddenly and mischievously, "Well, most of the time anyway. Sometimes you're just too gorgeous not to kiss you sometimes. And I have had a new lock installed in my office, that should keep the rest out."

Sara coloured slightly as she realised what he was subtly implying, but then answered without a trace of embarrassment at what he had just said, "Ok, let's stay professional, the majority of the time in work. But I don't want to lie to them, but I don't think we need to tell everyone yet. Just in case."

"Sara" he replied taking her hand "Nothing is going to separate me from you, you're stuck with me now. But if you don't want to tell them yet then we won't. I promise."

Sara smiled thankfully at him before continuing a moment later with a slight glint in her eye. "Anyway Dr. Grissom, I believe you were implying something about your office, would you care to tell me what you had in mind?"

Grissom smiled before growling back "Why don't you over here Miss. Sidle, and I'll show you what I was implying." Sara giggled and shuffled over to where he lay, a moment later her giggles stopped as their lips and their bodies met again.

* * *

They lay panting slightly afterwards, "Well, Miss. Sidle did you like what I was implying?" Sara still slightly breathless replied.

"Why yes Dr Grissom, I found it most ... invigorating, but I feel we may need to restrain ourselves at work. Because there is no way that can only happen once within a work environment."

Grissom laughed, "Well Miss. Sidle, I am fortunate that we are not in the workplace today then, because I don't think have the stamina to do that again."

Sara laughed at him. "I think we ought to put that to the test. But not tonight. Truth be told, I'm a little too old for it as well."

This time it was Grissom's turn to chuckle.

They both then sighed as they realised that they had to move and get up. Grissom moved to the end of the bed and pulled his boxers back on as Sara pulled on Grissom's shirt and her panties. Grissom laughed as he saw what he was wearing but didn't make her change. They moved throughout the house together, first washing and drying the pots together, then Grissom having a shower while Sara sat in the bedroom sorting out her clothes but still talking through the door between the rooms which they had left open, and then changing places as Grissom brushed his hair and changed while Sara showered. Sara changed straight into her work clothes and came with Grissom back to his town house and waited there as he changed for work as well. Before both walking to a local park and just sitting on a bench together, talking and holding hands, looking to all the world like a old married couple.


	20. Back to Work

_This is turning out a lot longer than I thought it would. Oh well, will still carry on._

* * *

Grissom's hands twitched as he stood at the head of the table in the break room sorting out assignments. Now that he and Sara had agreed to remain professional at work, that meant no touching, just in case anyone saw anything odd behind it and so that they didn't accidentally touch and not realise. They had spent all of the previous day with each other starting that morning at Sara's apartment and stayed with each other all day until the time had come that they had to leave the park so that they could still get to work on time. Even though the only time they had spent apart had been the drive to work where they had both come in their own cars so that no-one noticed either's lack of car, Grissom was still missing her touch.

The way her hand fitted perfectly in his as they were walking or sitting, the way her touch set his skin tingling whenever she caught his arm or touched his cheek. Anything. It also made him acutely aware of how much the rest of the team were allowed to touch her with no-one thinking anything of it. Nick handing over a file and catching her hand slightly. Warrick touching her shoulder to get her attention. Especially Catherine greeting her with a hug. It all made him even more aware that he was not allowed to touch her. The team had only all been in the break room for 5 minutes and Grissom was already slightly jealous of the rest of the team.

He clenched his fist under the table so that no-one could see him as he tried to stop himself reaching out to take her hand. He sat down and waited for everyone to quieten down so that he could give out the assignments he had just sorted. No-one said anything at the way he had just apparently accepted that Sara was back. Well that was everyone apart from Greg. Just after Grissom had finished giving out the assignments he decided to ask him.

"Hey Grissom. Question to ask you. I know you believe in each to their own personal space and don't butt into other people's private affair's an all that crap but we at least thought you would care about why Sara had gone or at least notice that she's back. You haven't said one word to her, she got a nod as you came in like the rest of us, but what kind of greeting is that for someone you l... know, who's just been gone?" He stumbled at the end and rushed the last bit when he realised he had almost said that Grissom loved Sara. They all knew it was true, only 3 of them knew that anything had happened, but none of them had ever mentioned it to Grissom, they had teased Sara but never seriously and _never _mentioned it to Grissom.

Grissom spoke through clenched teeth as he replied, trying to keep his temper. "Yes Greg, as you so eloquently put it I do believe in all the 'crap' and yes I do respect Sara's right to privacy. That would be why I didn't ask her to explain to all of us why she was gone, obviously as supervisor I will need to know slightly more which I have already found out. When she rang to inform me she was back and to give the 24-hour notice required before returning to work. And before you all ask no I don't know anymore than you do, I have put it down to personal reasons for Sara's time off and that is all I needed to know for the purposes of work. Now I'm sure you all have some work do to. So go do it. Now."

All of them filed out quietly Sara giving him a small smile as she went and Catherine staring at him in shock, it was very rare Grissom let his anger show, but he just had openly, she was slightly scared not knowing whether to congratulate him for showing emotion or to scold him for showing anger. It had been a simple question, albeit not well phrased, but still a simple question. Grissom just watched her as she left the room and as soon as her eyes were off him, his jumping immediately to Sara. She was still walking away, diplomatically fending off any questions put to her by everyone, smiling and blushing slightly as Catherine put her hand on her shoulder and whispered in her ear.

He so much wanted to be there with her, to be able to whisper things in her ear like Catherine, to gently punch her on the arm in play like Warrick, to have her ruffle her hair like she did to Greg, to lightly touch her shoulder to get her attention. He so much wished to do all these things without it been thought odd, and without people thinking anything of it. '_Am I actually jealous of my team? Just because they can still touch Sara ad I now can't just to stop accidentally taking hold of her hand, or placing my hand on her back to get her attention. No, of course I'm not jealous of them. Never, no way. I'm not.' _He watched as Warrick touched her shoulder in a final welcome back gesture before walking off with Nick to work on their case together. '_I am jealous. Damn it.'_

Now seeing that Sara had headed off around the corner he finally thought he was safe to leave the break room and head back to his office without been forced to act normal round her. Nothing was ever going to be the same between them anymore. He knew that. They had made love, they had declared their love for each other and both now knew that despite everything that had happened and how unlovable they thought they were, they both knew that the other loved them and that nothing they did could alter that. He had been so intent on watching Sara as she walked away that he hadn't notice Catherine leave the group, pick up her kit and make her way back into the break room. Her greeting completely shocked him as he turned around to see her sat on the chair next to him.

"Hey."

"Jesus Catherine, you scared me then."

She simply smiled at him. "Anyway lover boy if you've done watching the love of your life, and done been jealous of your team, then I was thinking maybe we could go process that scene that we're meant to be working on together today. You know ... work." Grissom scowled at her.

"Hey, how did you know I was jealous of the team. You were still there when I realised." She smiled knowingly and annoyingly at him as she shrugged "Lucky guess."

Grissom sighed, knowing he had just admitted something to Catherine which he hadn't wanted to admit to himself, and Catherine knew it. He sighed, this was going to be a long shift.

* * *

Grissom was surprised at the amount of restraint Catherine was showing by not yet asking about him and Sara, there had been a few knowing glances if his thoughts strayed and a few comments, totally innocent to anyone listening outside who didn't know, but which took on a whole new meaning when referring to him and Sara. Grissom had even found himself blushing at a few of these comments and wondering just how much Sara had told Catherine. He knew that she knew about the pregnancy and that she knew that Sara had gone to the Munroe clinic. He knew that Catherine knew that him and Sara were together, and he suspected that she knew that they had slept together that night. But he did not know how much detail she had gone into if she had mentioned anything. He knew that Sara was a private person like him who never revealed much more than she had too (except with him) but Catherine knew exactly how to phrase questions, when to push and when to hold back, she always managed to get much more out of both of them than anyone else could. And he knew she always managed to read between the lines of what they said until she knew much more than either of them realised.

What he didn't know was that Catherine was just biding her time, waiting until the right moment in order to squeeze the most information out of him. It turned out she found her time as she was driving them both back to the lab after they had processed the scene, a good 45 minutes drive away from the lab. Not looking at him, knowing that in this small area he would only clam up if she looked at him.

"So Griss, what do you think about Sara?"

"I'm happy to have her back at work. She's a valuable member of the team."

"You know what I mean Griss about her pregnancy?"

"I think it's excellent as long as she's happy about it. And she does seem to be very happy about it. I may not agree with the method of conceiving but if it works for her then I'll support her all the way."

Catherine suppressed the laugh which threatened to burst from her. Grissom sighed thinking that she was laughing about how much he had revealed about meaning to again.

"I bet you enjoyed her method at the time." She muttered under her breath.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing Grissom. I was just wondering what you meant about the method she chose, I wanted to know why you don't agree with it." She asked carefully, was he referring to running away afterwards, or not waiting until marriage or after a few more dates or something.

"I know I'm meant to be a scientist and open to all ideas, and I accept it in principal, it just doesn't seem very Sara."

Catherine wrinkled her brow in puzzlement but remained quiet waiting for Grissom to continue. What he did say surprised her though.

"Do you know if she went through it alone?" Catherine tried to sidestep the question, still not knowing exactly what she meant.

"I think it's the kind of thing that's pretty hard to do by yourself."

"I don't mean the doctor in the actual room during the ... actual procedure, but I mean in the waiting room and beforehand and afterwards. Someone she could talk to, someone to hold her hand and tell her it was OK, that it would work and that she would have a beautiful baby to care for. To tell her that they loved her, that they would be there for her, and would love her no matter what she decided or what happened." Grissom said, trailing off quietly when he started making suggestions.

He sighed again, but this time not from annoyance at revealing more than he meant to, but in pain thinking that Sara had to go through it alone.

"I think you need to discuss this with Sara" she muttered back quietly before falling into silence.

The remainder of the journey a silent one as each were wrapped up in their own thoughts and didn't want to disturb the other anyway.

* * *

Sara not knowing that Catherine had just found out that she had not told Grissom as they had not arrived back yet had the same thing going through her mind anyway. Both were thinking how much she needed to tell Grissom that the baby was his.

'_I know tonight, I will come him his favourite meal and get him a nice bottle of wine, and then tell him after that, when he is already relaxed and happy, and before it is too late to tell him.'_ She nodded as she decided on that course of action, gaining a confused look from Jacqui who was working the fingerprint Sara had found on her robbery for her. But she was use to Sara's little quirks and how she talked to herself and so said nothing and just continued searching the carrier she had brought in for any prints the machine ha uncovered.

'_Having said that, I don't know for definite what his favourite meal is, maybe I ought to wait a few days and find out then I can go ahead and do what I planned to do before. It won't be too late by then. It will take 2 days tops. Maybe 3, 4 at a push. A week maximum, that should be fine, it won't be too late.'_

She nodded to herself again and then started talking to Jacqui about the case as she found a print and began taking a copy to scan in to search with, unaware that she had slowly lengthened her time limit.

* * *

Catherine resolved to talk to Sara when she could, just to check that she was planning to tell Grissom before the child was born and before he noticed himself how similar him and the child seemed to look.

* * *

Grissom meanwhile was away with his thoughts not seeing the landscape they were passing anymore. His mind was away imagining his life if Sara stayed in it, proposing to her, marrying her, watching their child grow up. Taking their child to school, to see their friends, to whatever club they joined. Worrying about them as they grew up, trying to keep the safe and out of trouble both as a child and as a teenager. Growing old with Sara at the side of him. Making his happiest memories by her side, her been the source of all these happy memories. Helping her through the bad times and enjoying the good times with her. Becoming grandparents.

His life stretched out in front of himself and he longed for Sara and their child to be in it and be the centre of it. Now all he needed to do was convince Sara that she wanted the same thing.

He felt his heart grow suddenly cold, and all the colour drain out of his face as he stepped out of the car as it arrived at the CSI building. His thoughts grew sad. The fairy-tale was all well and good, but how could it happen. In it the child had been his and Sara's. He knew he would love it because it was half Sara but there would always be a part of him that regretted that it wasn't his child as well. That it wasn't the child of both him and Sara. And while he knew he wouldn't resent Sara of the child, he hoped he wouldn't resent the fact that Sara had wanted a stranger's child, even though she now could have had their child.

The future he had imagined seemed to bleaken slightly as he remembered that it wasn't his child. Sara would have told him if it had have been, and he wouldn't have doubted her. But because Sara hadn't disagreed when he had mentioned the Munroe clinic, he could only assume that she had gone there and regret the fact that she hadn't turned to him for the child she so desperately wanted instead.


	21. The Exchange

Grissom lay in bed, well Sara's bed to be more precise, his arm wrapped around her waist as she slept next to him. A smile on his face. Since Sara had got back the week before, they had rarely spent their time apart especially when sleeping. That was all they had done in bed, but Grissom was still overcome with it. Life to him now seemed odd if Sara wasn't with him. They had spent every early morning when they slept at after work in one or the other's place. Each had ended up with a small set of clothes at the others which had been there and stayed there after they had changed into whatever they had brought with them. They had never actually discussed it, it had just happened. Neither had wanted to be away from the other for longer than was necessary.

There had been the occasional morning where Grissom had stayed in the office longer than Sara in order to catch up with paperwork. But then they were still never apart for more than an hour as after that Grissom began missing her and worrying about her been all alone. At work he could keep his distance slightly easier now that they had come up with ways to still be professional but remain contact with each other. He also knew that none of the others at work would let Sara get hurt. They didn't know that she was pregnant yet but they would still keep an eye on her, especially because she had only really just come back. And as soon as they knew Grissom was sure that there would be very few times when she was alone.

It still didn't stop him worrying however, he became even more aware of the danger which they possibly faced everyday, he even tightened up subtly on safety within the lab. Almost everyone believed that the sheriff had been lecturing him about health and safety within the lab, supported by the fact that one of the dayshift team had ended up with a minor burn due to a heat source left on. Almost everyone. Sara knew that he was more aware of these things just as she herself was now slightly more aware. But neither of them knew that Catherine had also seen the connection, she had smiled when she had first worked it out. Seeing how well Grissom was taking to fatherhood. Her smile had dropped off soon after when she remembered that Grissom still didn't know. She kept trying to catch Sara alone but never seemed to manage it. She was always leaving earlier afterwards, not staying afterwards for hours by herself. And Grissom was always already there when Catherine arrived.

Not even Catherine had noticed that Grissom was spending less and less time in his office in the morning and was in the break room earlier and earlier with Sara. Nor had even Catherine noticed that just like Sara, Grissom was also pulling less and less overtime, if any now. That he only stayed behind when he had to, and that at most it was only ever for an hour.

Grissom had already awoken as he lay there with Sara. He had never been one to stay in bed when he was awake, but he felt an unusual pull to stay in bed. And he knew that it was a pull to stay nearer the woman who laid there with him. He also had a curious urge not to wake her, she looked so peaceful in her sleep. But this did not stop him from kissing the back of her neck lightly, the only part of her he could reach from there. He stilled as she wiggled slightly, hoping that he hadn't woken her.

She turned over and and looked up at him. Even though she had seemed peaceful and happy when asleep, whenever she woke up and realised that Grissom was still there and that it hadn't all been a dream, a smile instantly spread across her face.

It was this smile that reminded Grissom that it wasn't a dream. Seeing that beautiful smile whenever she woke up in the morning and saw him took his breath away everyday. He murmured softly not wanting to wake her up that much if he had just woken up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep honey." Her answer was equally murmured, but only in response to his tone of voice.

"I was already awake, I just didn't want to move in case I woke you." She leaned up slightly and kissed him, tenderly and gently, which she did most mornings, but still neither tired of this greeting, which seemed to remind them both of everything which had happened between them. There was very little need in the kiss, just an expression of love.

Sara lay back down onto the pillows as they broke away. Grissom sat up to look down at her. A smile still on her face, her glorious hair spread out on the pillow behind her, softening her features. He smiled at the image he saw and placed his palm onto her stomach. She giggled at the awed look on his face, he still seemed amazed everytime he registered that there was a small life in their. That would soon begin to show. He laid back down at Sara's giggling and lifted his arm up slightly. Sara instantly moved under his arm and laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. With his other hand he tilted her head up slightly and kissed her again slowly and leisurely, leaving her slightly breathless as he pulled away.

Grissom's spare arm found its way to her stomach again where again he lay his hand on top of it. They lay there silently for a good 10 minutes before Grissom softly asked Sara a question.

"Sara? What kind of father did you choose? For the baby, from the clinic?"

She decided the only way to avoid the question was with teasing, "Why? If I went for a younger model are you going to get jealous?" He smiled and chuckled slightly. Sara relaxed, she knew that she still needed to tell him. She just needed to find the right way. She leaned back onto his shoulder and felt her head move slightly as she heard a chuckle escape him. She looked back up at him, a questioning look in her eyes.

He smiled as he looked down at her. "Sorry, funny thought." She continued looking at him, the question still on her face. He only smiled down at her and didn't say anything, the occasional chuckle still escaping him. Eventually her curiosity got the better of her and she had to ask what he was finding funny.

"Well, you know how as a team we all took part in that scientific study in order to get some money for equipment for the lab. Well they kept mine, Nick's and Warrick's samples. I just had an odd image of a mini Nick and a mini Warrick as your kids." She joined in laughing then but stopped so that she could continue to hear what he said.

"Yeah, actually, they only told us that they were going to a private company but didn't tell us which one. Wouldn't it be really odd if you had got any of our samples without realising it. That would be strange. But I don't think there is a way you could find out is there? I suppose if you already had the man's name then they could tell you if that was the one you had used. I don't know."

Sara was still smiling from the image of small versions of Warrick and Nick, her smile drooped slightly as she realised that she could have had Grissom's child all along and not known it. Her smile also dropped when she realised that for a tiny fraction of a second she had actually considered not telling Grissom that she hadn't become pregnant via the clinic, and just telling him that she had ended up checking and had found out that she had used his sample.

She covered this disappointment in herself by lightly tapping his chest to get his attention and saying "Come on, we need to get up now." He smiled and climbed out of bed after her. They both put on their respective robes before heading out into Sara's living room. Sara started to clean up the living room, picking up glasses to take into the kitchen to clean, moving magazines back to the table, sorting out cushions and anything which looked out of place. While Sara did this Grissom went into the kitchen and started cooking some breakfast for them both.

This routine had also never been discussed it had just slotted into place. Grissom had been a surprisingly good cook, who knew what everything needed instinctively without having to precisely measure everything, Sara could only cook the basics, if she tried she could make a decent healthy meal but it was more of a chore than a pleasure and Grissom enjoyed been able to do things for her anyway. And she knew she shouldn't but she also enjoyed him doing thing for her, she only knew that she shouldn't like it because it made her too dependent on him.

Apart from to remain professional in work they had never actually discussed much about their relationship, they had talked about it, but not discussed the routine things like cooking and cleaning or who's house to stay at, everything just seemed to slot into place. In a way which they were both more than happy with. They no longer needed to ask each other which house they would meet at that night they both just seemed to sense which the other wanted to go to. If Grissom had stayed at work for an hour and felt the need to go home, and so had driven there intending to ring Sara and ask her to come over there that night. He always found her sat on his front step, expecting him and smiling.

After they had eaten breakfast and showered and changed, ready for work that night so that they did not stay need to come back if they ran out of time. They both just wandered around and found themselves at the park they always seemed to end up.

Almost everyday they could be seen there. If it was hot then they would always be lying in the shade of the large oak tree which stood there, Sara's head on Grissom's shoulder, arm around his waist and Grissom with his arms around her shoulders. If it was only sunny, always on the bench in the corner. There were other benches but even after a week the people who came there regularly either to walk or who brought their kids knew which bench they could be seen on. And stayed away from the tree if it was a warm day, knowing they would turn up and some point. And it had even got to the stage where if they were sat on the bench and they saw Sara and Grissom enter they would stand up and move away or return home.

None of the people who did this knew either of them, but they all recognised them, and all were secretly deep down jealous of them. They recognised them after seeing them there almost everyday, but they also recognised how much they loved each other and that they were truly in the presence of love when they were around. They couldn't even begin to imagine at how much could be exchanged between them in one single glance, although many longed for the same kind of intimacy with someone.

They were also only ever seen on the bench in 3 positions, sat next to each other, side-by-side holding hands. Sara leaning against Grissoms shoulder with his arm around the back of her shoulder while her arm lay across his stomach. Or most often, Grissom sat there with a book of some sort in one hand, holding it up. Sara laid on the bench, her head on his lap, her face turned out watching the people as they moved about. There hands still held together.

It was this position which they found themselves in today. With only one difference, on the outside of Grissom's book something was glittering. His other hand was still in Sara's. Eventually Sara heard Grissom sigh and close his book, turning her face to look at him she smiled when she saw him watching her. He noticed her growing self-conscious under his gaze after a while and so broke the tension.

"Sara, you know how you always end up waiting outside my house? Well, I only just realised how cold and bored you must get. So I've had something made for you." He placed the book down on his knee but kept the thing which had been glittering his hand. He held it out to Sara. She took it and felt a tear coming to her eye.

"You're giving me a key to your house?" He nodded. Sara's smile burst into a grin and she felt the tear escape from her eye. Grissom grinned shyly as he wiped the tear away from her eye. "It's not that much. I just thought it would come in useful." Sara laughed gently, the tears now stopped, but her eyes still moist.

She sat up and kissed him gently. They then left the park, walking hand-in-hand back to Sara's apartment. Sara knew that the same gesture from any other man wouldn't be that big. But with Grissom, he was much more open with her now, he didn't try to hide things. But she could still tell that there were things he wasn't telling her, she knew it wasn't purposeful, that it was just a set habit of keeping those things locked away. But by giving her a key it was as good as giving her a key to his heart almost. Grissom undoubtedly saw that as well, he saw meanings behind almost everything and considered everything before doing anything. It was the same as giving her a key to his secrets, he had been happy for her to be in the house alone while he went down to the shops, but now it showed how much he trusted her, he was willing to let her into his home, and trusted her not to become nosy. Not that he had ever assumed that she would.

Sara would have found it hard to express in words exactly how much him giving her a key meant to her. Instead she could only try to show him the same thing. As they entered her apartment, Grissom was locking the door behind them and when he turned around he saw Sara stood in front of him, holding a single key up at eye-level.

He reached out to take it, a tear also coming to his eye. He whispered to her as the single tear escaped his eye.

"Thank you, my love."


	22. Pet Names & Promises

_Sorry the last chapter was a bit ... dull, but I just wanted a sweet one to show how happy they are together and how perfect they are together._

_That and to let the old romantic in me come out, just for a little bit._

_This one will be slightly more eventful, don't know if that is good or bad. There are only so many sweet 'awww look at them together' chapters I can make you sit through in a row._

_

* * *

_

'_Shit! How on earth did I let it get this far? I should have just told him straight away. Why have I still not told Gil that it's his baby. I so wanted him to know that the baby was his, definitely before I told the rest of the guys that I was pregnant. But I did say at 3 months. Well, here goes, I need to tell him straight after this.'_

Sara grimaced when she realised how hurt he was going to be. He didn't know the baby was his, she was now starting to show hints of getting a bump, and today she was telling all the guys that she was pregnant.

She took a deep breath in and let it out in an attempt to calm herself down, the plan was that Grissom would come in and get everyone to be quiet like he normally did and then Sara would announce. They had agreed to let it be known that Catherine knew as Sara needed to tell someone when she found out, and that Grissom knew only so that he could arrange maternity leave well in advance. Neither of them wanted to lie to the team but they wanted even less to make their relationship public knowledge, and Grissom had actually sorted out maternity leave early, meaning that any dates needed she was now assured and she wouldn't have to wait an extra few days. They wanted to try and survive without a replacement if they could.

She was still staring at the table in the break room when Catherine entered and sat down next to her. She placed a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. Sara gave her a small smile as she looked up.

"You nervous?" Sara only nodded. "Don't worry, everyone will be happy for you. They might ask a few awkward questions but I'm sure you can cope. What have you decided to tell them anyway?"

"That it's none of their business. I want him to know before they do, and I want to check it's OK with him to tell them who he is." Catherine frowned for a second as she worked her way through the sentence putting names and pauses in.

"Still not told him?" She asked softly, Sara only shook her head. "Do you want me to tell him?" Sara shook her head again, but a lot more violently this time.

"OK, I won't say anything then. But can I just tell you something?"

"No" Catherine continued anyway after a mock glare at Sara.

"You've got more guts than me. You're actually going to tell them. I didn't" Sara looked up at her.

"What do you mean you didn't tell them?"

"I mean when I had Lindsey, I didn't say anything, after about 4 months it became pretty obvious that it wasn't doughnuts the only thing is eventually it took Grissom to tell them all before we started, they were too embarrassed too ask. And I was too embarrassed to tell. Thing is, I don't know why. Oh well, show time."

Sara looked up to see Grissom entering the room, he flashed a quick smile at her before making his face neutral again as he entered. As they all saw Grissom enter from their different places in the room and the lab, the team drifted in until they were all sat around the table. Not very surprisingly Greg was there as well. He may not officially be a CSI but it would take a natural catastrophe to keep him out in the mornings.

Grissom got everyones attention simply by talking at them and they immediately started to listen. Greg still not daring to say anything, he had noticed Grissom getting more and more defensive or things said about members of his team. Besides they still weren't on the best terms with each other. If it weren't for Warrick also near by then Greg would currently have a face mask down his throat. Grissom had found out the day before that Greg had been reckoning Sara was in a porn film and wanting a free copy while she was off. Greg had wisely not said much to his boss since then apart from giving him his results, and subtly moving him up the pile of things to process.

"Right everyone, we have one new robbery, so me and Sara will continue our case, Catherine and Warrick you carry on with your case but I'm taking Nick from you to cover this new case. Sorry Nicky." Everyone began to stand up, "Before you go though Sara wants to talk to you." They all sat straight back down and looked expectantly at Sara, who coughed nervously.

"Everyone, I just thought I ought to tell you. You'll be able to see soon anyway." She took a deep breath in, not knowing why she was suddenly so nervous, she decided to blame it on hormones. "You'll also notice soon when I talk to you. So I apologise in advance if I snap at you in the next 6 months. Blame it on hormones, because I'm pregnant." She quickly averted her face and looked down at the table as she heard silence coming from the team. After the news had settled in, Sara looked back up to hear applauding cheering and congratulations been poured at her from all sides. Eventually they all calmed down, none of them seemed to have noticed that Grissom and Catherine's congratulations had been only small and not as loud as the others. As they all settled down again, Warrick asked the question still lying heavy in the air. Or at least a variation of it.

"Yo girl, I didn't know you were dating anyone. Who's the lucky guy? Is the dad anyone we know?"

"I haven't cleared it with the guy in question that I can tell you all who he is. So until then it's none of your business." There were a few protests but the combined glares of Catherine and Grissom soon stopped these.

"Right guys, everyone back to work, you can talk to Sara later, but right now you have work to do." Grissom called to them all. Warrick, Nick and Greg all stood up, wishing Sara congratulations on the way out. Sara, Grissom and Catherine all stood up but stayed the room.

"There we go sweetie, that's that section out of the way. Over and done with. The next hardest thing you will have to do is persuade them all that you can still work." He reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, but when he hand was half-way there he remembered that they were in work and reluctantly put his hand back down by his side. Catherine watched the exchange with a slightly amused smile on her face and commented quietly, "Hmmm, pet names already."

Neither said anything, both were lost in the other's eyes, the fact that they couldn't touch each other just making them take any form of showing affection and intimacy they could get while in work. Catherine laughed slightly under her breath before stifling it, at the same time feeling a slight twinge of jealousy. When they had started she had believed that her and Eddie were close to each other, this silent exchange between them, expressing feelings which couldn't be shared in work, showed her how wrong she had been.

She looked back up, hoping they hadn't noticed the slight grimace which had passed her face when she had realised that she was jealous, looking up she realised that she could have set a firework off in the room and they still wouldn't realise anything had happened, they had there own fireworks now. Catherine spotted Nicks kit on the floor under the table and looking up she saw him coming down the corridor. Realising that she had more chance of reaching Nick and giving him his kit before he saw the two geeks, was a lot more likely to happen than actually moving the geeks themselves.

Quickly deciding on the first course of action she grabbed his kit out from under the table and rushed towards him, glad to see that his face was still down. She reached him and took hold of his arm, so that it just seemed as though she pulled him with her as she continued on her path. "Er, hi Cath. But I need to go grab my kit from the break room."

"You mean this kit?" She asked as she held it up for him. He grinned and took the field kit off her. "Now you run along and go solve some crimes." He laughed and wandered off down the corridor, giving her a wave as he rounded the corner and headed out of view. Catherine immediately changed course and headed for the locker room. Grabbing her purse she rummaged through it until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out her cell and pushed it into her pocket before shoving her purse back into her locker and walking out of the room.

She paged Sara and Grissom from his office, requesting their presence there. She waited a few minutes and after she heard no sounds from the corridor, sighed and pulled her phone out. Quickly finding the right number she called it.

* * *

Sara was still lost in Grissom's eyes in the break room. Neither had heard their pagers go off. Suddenly a ringing echoed around the room shattering the piece there. Sara fumbled in her pocket for her cell, as Grissom averted his eyes, a slight colour rising to his cheeks. He watched as Sara pulled her cell out, glanced at the caller number in confusion and answered.

"Hey Catherine. What's up?" Grissom waited as Catherine replied, listening when Sara answered again.

He watched as a slight colour matching his also rose in Sara's cheeks. "Sure Cath, where are you now? ... Yeah, we'll see you there."

She ended the call and looking back towards Grissom, been careful to avoid eye contact she told him that Catherine was waiting for them both in his office. He nodded and followed as she led the way to his office.

Both entered the office, keeping their faces downcast and both fighting the comment which had arisen when they noticed Cath standing behind the desk in Grissom's usual place. They both accepted the lecture she gave them about been careful at work without response. And when she told them too, left the room, went to pick up their kits and went back to their crime scene to look for the missing weapon again. Neither of them spoke until they were safely in Grissom's SUV.

"God. Is it just me or can Catherine make you feel like you're back in high school again, being lectured by a teacher?"

Grissom simply smirked at her description, a small giggle escaping him. "I don't know what you're on about I was never in trouble at school?"

"Geek." Sara tossed at him, glancing at him. He only smiled and reached over from his seat and took Sara's hand in his. They both lapsed into a comfortable silence again, which remained until they reached the crime scene.

* * *

Other than the occasional tease, the shift was pretty regular. There were no great breakthroughs in the case and no more awkward moments between Sara and Grissom, although a few knowing looks were exchanged between them. Sara headed out 10 minutes before Grissom and drove over to his house, knowing that they would be there tonight. Grissom followed afterwards, turning the other way to take a slightly shorted route back. Meaning that they didn't arouse suspicion and still arrived at the house at about the same time.

As soon as they got in they settled into there usual routine. Grissom immediately went to the kitchen and began preparing breakfast while Sara tidied up what needed tidying before setting the table for their breakfast. As usual they were both finished within a minute of each other. They sat opposite each other over the small square table, holding hands on top of the middle of the table. And only taking there eyes off each other enough to look at what they were eating.

After they had finished Grissom went and washed up, while Sara went and reclined on his couch flicking channels on the TV. She decided on a documentary on cockroaches. Grissom smiled as he saw what she had settled on and saw the intent expression on her face as she took in every word. He leaned against the kitchen door frame as he watched her.

"I never knew you were _that_ interested in bugs."

"There's only so long you can be in love with a bug man without becoming interested." She quipped with a small smile before turning her attention back to the screen. Grissom laughed slightly under his breath before walking around the couch and crouching down in front of Sara so that there faces were level. He stroked her cheek gently, gazing into her eyes. He leant in and kissed her slowly, leisurely and sensually. He pulled back and gazing into her eyes again asked,

"How do you fancy an early night?"

"Gil, we've just had breakfast, I don't think it's night anymore."

"Fine, how do you fancy an early morning?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye. Sara seemed to consider it for a moment with a thoughtful expression, although she knew her decision the moment he had suggested it.

"Well" she said eventually "it would be rude to say no I suppose." He grinned at her and she chuckled as he picked her up from the couch she was leaning on.

"Gil! I'm too heavy!" He only grinned and raised his eyebrows quickly at her. He captured her mouth with his and she instantly forgot any objections she had. He carried her into the bedroom and gently laid her down on the bed, their lips never parting.

* * *

Sara lay, her head resting on his shoulder, listening to his breathing as they both began to drift off to sleep. She heard Grissom murmur tiredly,

"You asleep?"

"No, just resting my eyes."

"You are allowed to go to sleep. Besides I won't go to sleep until I know you are sleeping well."

"Mmmmm, love you." She muttered slowly as she began drifting off to sleep. A smile on her face, she finally believed that Gil would always be there to look after her. As a result she didn't reply his response. He lightly kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too dear. Always have, always will. And I promise I'll always look after you."


	23. Hurt

She still couldn't believe that he found her beautiful and could still make such fabulous love to her, she was only 4 months gone but she was already beginning to feel like she had swallowed a small beach ball which was slowly inflating inside of her. She lay resting on his shoulder in her bed, and was reminded of the previous times she had lain like that. A particular one jumped out at her, his words came back to her, '_I love you too dear. Always have, always will. And I promise I'll always look after you.'_ She smiled as the thought came back to her. She couldn't believe that he had said that a month ago and he was still around and doing as he promised.

He was making sure she ate right, that she got enough rest and that she didn't stand up too much. As she dropped off to sleep smiling she heard him mutter something but couldn't tell all of what he said.

_

* * *

_Sara had a troubled sleep. She had gone to sleep exhausted and happy, but had heard Grissom mutter something and picked out the words 'our baby.' She had confused jerky dreams that night. 

_She was in the hospital and had just given birth, she was exhausted but still managed to say "Can I see my baby?" It was brought over and she heard the midwife tell her it was a boy. She smiled and looked down to see a baby in her arms, who looked amazingly like Grissom, apart from it's eyes which were hers._

_"Honey, is there something you want to tell me?"_

_Sara smiled and leant against Grissom as she watched her son riding his first bike by himself, complete with stabilizers. She watched as he turned around a corner and cycle back towards them. Looking for all the world like Grissom as a child. "Sweetie, what was the name of that clinic you used?"_

_Sara waved as she saw her son come out of the doors from school. A studious look on his face as he stopped to look at a fly which had landed on his finger and examine it. She looked to the side and saw Grissom standing there, and looking back at the boy, saw how similar they looked, and how similar their looks were as her son looked up from the bug on his finger. "Darling, did you ever find out what the donor's name was?"_

_She watched her son at his graduation. Coming out of university with honours, and already offered work proposals. She looked down at herself and saw an older version of herself sat down next to an older version of Grissom, holding hands. She saw a camera in his hand. She watched her son proudly as he accepted his certificate and smiled at his parents a smile plastered on his face as Grissom stood up and took a photo of him. As he walked off the platform, Grissom looked at the picture he had just taken on the camera's view screen. She looked fondly down at the image and saw a picture of their son. The exact image of Grissom when she had first met him as a professor, except a few years younger. "Dear, was there anything you needed to tell me?"_

Sara shot awake and sat straight up in bed. She looked down and saw Grissom still sleeping, his arm protectively still clutching her waist. It didn't matter though, she needed to tell him now before her nerve broke. As she leant further forward she felt her now protruding bump protest as she squashed it slightly, she sat back up straight and leant down and shook Grissom awake, tears now forming in her eyes.

"Gil! Gil! I need to tell you something."

He awoke immediately and sensing her distress took her hands and looked into her eyes, his concern showing there. He reached out and wiped away the tear which had already fallen.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? Are you OK?" He noticed her hand placed on her stomach. "Is the baby OK?"

She nodded. "We're both fine. But I need to tell you something." She took a deep breath in. "The baby's yours. Well, ours. But your the father."

She watched his reaction carefully. As his face finally stopped flitting through emotions it landed on confusion. He dropped her hands and moved so that he was sat on the end of the bed his feet on the floor and his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands.

"You mean from the first night, or you mean they used me as your donor at the clinic?"

"From that night."

"Well how do you know? I mean, are you sure?"

"Yes, I ... didn't go to the clinic."

"But Catherine said you had an appointment there."

"I did, I made the appointment to say that I wasn't going to got through with it, then a week after that I found out I was pregnant."

"So ... you mean you've always known that it's mine?" He asked slowly puzzling it all out in his head. She slowly nodded, he couldn't see this but he heard her silence and knew she would have denied it if it wasn't true.

"Why?" He asked his voice low. When he heard no answer he asked again.

"Why? Why didn't you tell me?" Her heard Sara reply quietly. "I didn't know how you would react."

Grissom stood up and faced her. "So you decided it was best for me not to know! Jesus, Sara! I thought I could trust you. I thought we told each other everything."

Sara taken aback by his use of her first name which he only now used in public, and also by his anger, she was so use to dependable steady Grissom that she hadn't considered his anger, tried to explain. "It was before we were so close. And I didn't want to scare you. It was never the right time. And I wanted you to stay because you wanted to, not because you felt an obligation to your unborn child. I wanted you to stay because of me, and because you loved me and loved been with me. Not out of a sense of duty. I didn't want you to have to make that decision."

"So you made it for me!" He lapsed into muttering as he wandered around the bedroom unable to stay still. Sara tried to stem the tears flowing down her face as she watched him, her eyes following his course around the room. Biting her lip to stop herself saying anything else. He suddenly stopped pacing as he neared the part of the bed where Sara was set. He turned to face her, all of his features showing what he felt. Hurt. Sara winced, his pain hurt her more than his anger had. He just stood there watching her.

She tentatively reached out slowly and took his hand, just holding it. It stayed limp in her touch for a moment, he then took hold of it. Slowly lifted their hands and looked at them. He dropped them back down to his sides and slowly stroked her hand with his thumb. She smiled weakly at him, as she watched as his mind continued to work. He let go of her hand and walked around to the side of the bed he had left and sat down on the bed and placed his head back in his hands.

After a few moments Sara heard him sobbing slightly, and quietly to himself. Her heart nearly broke at the sound. She climbed over the bed, she slowly reached toward his shoulder and put her hand on it. His hand came up across his body and clutched hers desperately. Sara waited and after a short while heard his sobs subside. She leant further forward and rested her chin on his shoulder. He turned around to look at, and she saw all the pain he had just cried away return to his eyes as he looked at her and she felt her heart almost die inside of her. She had never meant to hurt him.

She jumped as he stood up suddenly, and watched dejectedly as he began grabbing his clothes from where they lay. She watched as he struggled into his pants and pulled his shirt on roughly, not noticing that it was inside out. He walked quickly to the door as he reached it he turned around and spoke to her but without looking at her. "Sara. I'm going to go and ... so some work. At home."

She watched as he left the room, and listened, not moving, as she heard him grab his jacket and walk out of the door. Locking it behind him. Sara broke down. Still shocked after everything at the use of her first name. If he ever did say it at home then he always said it softly or to get her attention and other than that called her affectionate names. It was like her calling him Gil at home and Grissom in public. What also stung her was how he had said home. Generally home was whichever one they were at. He never referred to his building as his home if they were both their and otherwise it was his house. He had said before that home was wherever she was. She had joked about, saying that that was obviously why they spent so much time at work before they were together.

As happy memories of them flooded back mixed with more recent ones since after she had told him, what little restraint she still had on her tears broke. She collapsed on the bed from exhaustion and continued to cry. Eventually she fell to sleep from sheer exhaustion, tears still pouring down her face, even as she slept.


	24. Messages, Notes, Letters

Sara awoke feeling groggy and out of sorts. She hadn't even heard the alarm go off the first time. She rose late and started dashing about trying desperately to be ready for work and finding all her clothes. She was pulling on a shirt and fastening as she got into the kitchen. As she got in she went into the kitchen to start some coffee going before she went and grabbed her pants. As she entered the kitchen she spotted a note laying on the counter top. She had just pressed the button to start the coffee making as she headed over to pick it up.

It was a simple note, written on a post-it note.

_Sara, you have some food left in the oven to keep warm._

_I've cleared that it's OK for you to come into work late._

_Will understand if you choose not to come in._

_Grissom_

She stood there for a moment, she then turned it over and scanned the back of the note before reading the words on the front again. Desperately searching for any kind of emotion expressed in the note. She sighed when she saw none and then went over to the oven, pulled out a plate from it and started eating. She barely noticed what she was eating as her mind worked. '_Well, he did say he would look after me and make sure I ate and everything. And he is. He just never said that he would be there as he did it.'_

She sighed and went and put the plate into the sink. Moving back to the coffee machine she sighed again as she spotted another note attached to it, which she hadn't seen at first as she was distracted by the main one. All it said was:

_You're not allowed caffeine. There is some juice in the fridge. G._

She opened up the fridge and sure enough there was some juice already poured into a glass. As she leant against the counter, drinking the juice she registered that the glass wan't that cold yet. He must have been in while she was asleep as he hadn't had time while she was still awake before she had heard the door shut. She also regitered how he had signed the note. He had said Grissom not Gil, and there no kisses written after it as there had been on other notes before. She sighed and impatiently dashed the tears away which had begun to cloud her vision.

She had not cried as much since her father her died as much as she had in the last 4 months. With sadness or confusion over Grissom, or when he had made her laugh so hard that she cried. She forced her mind away thoughts of him and resigned herself to getting the cold shoulder from him in work.

She sighed again, she had also sighed more in the last four months, out of frustration and out of disbelief at how amazing Gil was and how gorgeous he looked whenever light fell across his face as he lay asleep. She finished off the juice in one gulp before heading back into the bedroom and finishing getting changed.

* * *

She pulled up reluctantly outside of work. Setting her shoulders she went and signed in with Judi and found a message waiting for her.

"Miss. Sidle, Dr. Grissom left a message for you." Sara nodded waiting for Judi to continue, "He said that he'll be out at the crime scene for a while and can you start processing what he has laid out in the layout room." Sara thanked her before heading to the layout room, puzzling over Grissom's curt message. It said nothing major, but she did wonder why he was still out at the crime scene. He must be looking for the weapon again because we found everything else there was to find at the scene.

Sara walked into the layout room after retreiving the key from his office and started processing what he had left on the table for her.

After she had done everything she could, she went to go deposit what she had found with Greg and then with Hodges.

"Hey Greggo. You're in luck today, there were only 2 viable blood swabs from the evidence so your pile isn't getting to large again yet."

"I'm afraid it is. Grissom just came and dropped some things off for your case today as well. He also asked me to tell you that he found the weapon and Hodges is running it."

"Thanks Greg." Sara tossed over her shoulder as she almost ran down the corridor to trace hoping to catch Grissom as he left. As she arrived she saw that he had already gone and that only Hodges was there.

"You know I'm not a messenger. If Grissom want's to tell you something he should go find you himself. But out of respect for him I will tell you anyway." Sara gritted her teeth to hold the retort which had just come into her head from escaping out of her mouth. Hodges obviously saw this but continued without a sarcastic comment. "He say's that there has been a link between your case and Nick's case. And that he will go find Nick and can you meet them both in the break room."

Without a word she simply turned on her heel and walked towards the break room.

"Hi Sara. Grisso-" He was interupted by Sara.

"Don't tell me, he left you a message to tell me, what is it that he'll be in his office, in ballistics, back out at the crime scene? Or just that can you fill me in on the case and the link?"

"Actually Grissom said that you were going to fill me in on your case but yes he did leave a message for you. He just said to tell you he said Sorry." Sara nodded.

"Sorry Nicky. He's just leaving me messages with everyone and it's starting to confuse me. Right so I needed to fill you in on our case." Nick nodded, wisely not forcing the matter about Sara and Grissom any further.

Sara sat herself roughly down at the table next to Nick and filled him in on the case and listened as Nick explained his. Then both of them struggling through all the irrelevant material to find the link which Grissom had spotted. Finally finding it they knew that this was the break in both their cases which they had been waiting for, and knowing that now they were both solved. Nick punched in Brass's number into his phone and dialled.

"Hey Brass. We got a suspect for both mine and Sara's cases. Can you arrest Barry LeMac for us. We can meet you at PD afterwards."

---

"What do you mean he's already in cutody?"

-----

"Oh right, sorry Grissom didn't tell us he had already informed you. Is he down there?"

---

"No? OK me and Sara will head down to PD to join the interrogation and get this finished. Did he say anything to you about why he gave new items to DNA and Trace then?"

---

"Oh right, just for court got ya."

----------------

Sara watched as Nick's face grew confused and then slowly handed the phone over to her.

"Errr, Brass says he wants to talk to you."

Sara also now confused picked up the phone. "Hey Brass. What's up?"

"Hey Sara. I've got a note from Grissom."

"What?" She sounded annoyed slightly now.

"I don't know I haven't read it."

"Read it?"

"Yeh, it's a sealed letter. He asked me to give it to you. He sounded pretty upset, are you two ok?"

"Yeah we're fine thanks Brass. Did he mention what it was about?"

"No he just said that you would understand and know. And he said to say he was sorry."

"Did he say what he was sorry for?" Sara asked growing concerned. She had known that her and Grissom were probably through but she hadn't quite resigned herself to it yet, and wasn't yet ready.

"No. Did you two have a lover's tiff or something? 'Cos he seemed pretty upset?"

"No. Why? What did he say? What make's you think that?"

"Sara. I'm a detective, that and you just confirmed it your realise?" She cursed quietly under her breath but continued to listen to Brass' reply. "Don't worry doll, I won't say anything."

"Thanks. We'll see you down at PD."

Nick looked questiongly at her. But Sara simply stood up and told him they were going down to PD. She didn't answer his unvoiced his question. He opened his mouth to ask but when he saw her glancing at her he quickly shut his mouth and just told her he would drive before following her to the car.

* * *

By the time they arrived at PD Sara was almost shaking. And her fears were showing through. "Sar, do you want to just come inside and find Brass with me, and then I'll go deal with the suspect. I understamd both cases. Sara nodded gratefully and headed nervously into PD. Nick asked at the desk where Brass was going to be. When he found out which interrogation room he was going to be in he immediately led Sara off in that direction before she could go back to the car.

They saw Brass at the end of the corridor as they turned the corner and headed towards him. By the time they reached him, Sara was on the verge of crying again, and was physically shaking. She scanned his hands as he turned to face them and saw no letter in them. She stood there silently as the two men in front of her started talking.

"So Brass, is the suspect in there?"

"Yep, been demanding a lawyer, so he's got one now. You can go talk to him straight away. The lawyer looks pretty cheap so I wouldn't expect anything major from him but he looks sharp, he'll go for techniclities, don't leave any bases uncovered."

"Thanks." Sara was still staring at the floor as Nick entered. Brass gestured to another cop waiting in the next room as he came up Brass ordered him what to do.

"Wait out here. Keep an eye out for trouble, otherwise leave him too it. Don't distract him or enter the room unless it gets violent or there is an emergency. And by emergency I mean as in if that room is going to get hit with a meteor and the rest of the building will be fine. He know's what he's doing. Myself and Miss. Sidle will be on that room down there. Calming down. Make sure no-one comes in, and do not interrupt us either. Call me when CSI Stokes is finished. Understood?"

The man had raised his eyebrows when Brass had said that he was to be left alone and undisturbed with the woman next to him. especially when he had realised that the door he had been pointing to led through to a soundproof room. He then glanced at Sara and saw how close to crying she was, and that she was looking desperately and searching his hands for something. He knew that nothing untoward was happening and felt sorry for her so he only nodded and turned to watch Nick.

Brass grunted, and then turned to Sara saying softly in his gruff voice.

"Sara. Come with me down there. I'll talk to you in there. It will be fine. He's nothing if not predictable and devoted." Sara nodded dumbly and let her lead her by the arm to the room he had pointed to, and was barely aware of him opening the door and walking them in as she panicked.

* * *

As they entered the room, knowing that she was only with someone who knew seemed to relax her unwillingness to speak. Brass couldn't tell what she was actually saying precisely, but he could catch the general gist. She was terrified about Grissom leaving her, and didn't know how she could cope without him anymore. Brass quietly wrapped his arm around her shoulder as she clung to his shirt and wept into his shoulder, still talking except muffled now.

After a while she took in a deep shuddering breath and looked up to find herself sat on a table clinging to Brass's shirt. She smiled a small grateful smile at him and brushed her hair out of her face.

"You OK now?" He asked with concern.

She nodded. "I'm fine. Do you have the letter on you?"

Brass wordlessly reached into his inside suit pocket and pulled out a letter. Sara stared at it for a few moments before taking it from him. She turned to look at the front of the envelope, on it he had simply written 'Sara' in his flowing script.

Hands still shaking slightly she turned it back over and opened the flap, she pulled out the letter. As she unfolded it she noticed the length of it, it was at least a page and a half long, and it was filled with Grissom's handwriting.

She unfolded the letter and read what he had written. A single tear running down her face as she read.


	25. Quotations and Winning Bets

_Sara,_

_I don't know why I seem to find it so difficult to say to you what I mean sometimes. I can truly tell you that you have brought feelings out in me which I thought I had lost when I lost my father. And you have brought them back in such strengths that I now know I could never truly have ever lost them, they were just hidden. Until you brought them out. One of the main feelings I am mentioning is the belief that life can turn out well. Doing what we do everyday, we see people at their worst. We see relationships fall apart, we see marriages ending in death, love lost between families. We see that emotions usually lead to harm. I was beginning to believe that this was how all life was. We never see the relationships which work, we never see the marriages which still remain strong, we never see a family unaffected by grief and still full of love. We never see that emotions are also what make life worth living. I wish to thank you for giving me this gift of knowledge, of the understanding that emotions, even if they lead to hurt are worth it. I would rather have an hour of happiness with you and a lifetime of sadness, than to never know your tender touch and you loving gaze. Even if only for a brief time. _

_I also know not how you managed to evoke these feelings in me. And here the feeling I speak of is love. Sara, my dearest Sara, I now understand what true love is. And do not know how I managed to deny it to myself before. I also see that love blossoms and grows, the more you let yourself feel it. When I first met you, I then knew what attraction truly was. When you became my friend, I found out what companionship really was. When I first hurt you, I discovered how deep true pain is. When you first forgave me, I discovered how much happiness true forgiveness can bring. When I first made love to you, I then knew what it meant to become one with someone. When I first realised I loved you, I discovered how much happiness it brought, and how deep my love for you was. I realised that it stretched right to the core of my being. That without realising it, expressing it to you had become my reason for living. _

_I now know that not telling you, but showing you I love you with everything I do, in everything I say, in every action I make, was my reason for living. To prove to you that when I told you I love you, I meant it. To prove to you that when I said I would always care for you I meant it._

_I cannot however begin to understand how much my leaving this morning pained you, and how my lack of communication with you since they may have hurt you. I know that they both hurt me more than anything ever has before. And I know that neither pain can be expressed fully in words. But I will understand if you decide that the pain I caused you was not worth the joy I hope I brought to you. I will understand if you do not wish to continue a relationship with me, and wish me to pursue you no longer. I will also, if this is what you wish, not cross whatever lines you set. Even though it will pain me I will be nothing more than a friend to you and I will wish you luck in any future relationships._

_Know always though that if you should wish it, I will always be here for you and I will comfort you and love you in whichever form you allow me. Whether it be as a friend or a lover or a partner, I would always do anything for you. I would give my life in order to protect yours. Know also that the option of more than friendship will always be open to you, and that nothing would make me happier than to have you back in my life. My love._

_Also know that I am deeply sorry for my reaction this morning. The more I think of it the more I see I acted in haste. It is true however that I did need to think, in order to realise some things. And I could only do this on my own, I am sorry my darling for doubting your reasons when you left after that night. I now understand that you had to leave, and I apologise for my lack of understanding at the time._

_Whichever option you choose, please forgive my distance which may ensue over the next few days. Despite having realised many things, I know that I have barely touched the surface of knowledge which I have now discovered. Know that my heart will always be both with you and with our child. My body may be away or my mind may be thinking, but I could never take you entirely out of my mind, no matter what my attention was on. I could never take the memory of your soft touch away from my body and my cheek, and nor do I want to. But know that the whole of my heart will always be with you. I promise you that my darling._

_As I glance back over this letter, I realise that while it tries to say what I mean, I still find it failing. Words can never come close to describing how I feel, and what I feel for you. I see that the words written above hardly do justice of my feelings. I know that any further attempts I make will add nothing which has not already been said here, because my dear, I'm afraid my words begin to run out here. I know not how to express my feelings to in words; I cannot even turn to another's words as they do little justice to my feelings. Instead I turn from my words to another's; I turn to the words of Ben Jonson._

I that have been a lover, and could shew it,  
Though not in these, in rhymes not wholly dumb,  
Since I exscribe your sonnets, am become  
A better lover, and much better poet.  
Nor is my Muse or I asham'd to owe it  
To those true numerous graces, whereof some  
But charme the senses, others overcome  
Both brains and hearts ; and mine now best do know it :  
For in your verse all Cupid's armory,  
His flames, his shafts, his quiver, and his bow,  
His very eyes are yours to overthrow.  
But then his mother's sweets you so apply,  
Her joys, her smiles, her loves, as readers take  
For Venus' ceston every line you make.

_Whenever thinking of you and my realisations, another sonnet also comes to mind. Neither one expresses my feelings well enough. Only when they are combined together and both are read can my feelings even begin to be understood. And so I again turn from my own words, to those of another, William Shakespeare._

Those lines that I before have writ do lie,  
Even those that said I could not love you dearer:  
Yet then my judgment knew no reason why  
My most full flame should afterwards burn clearer.  
But reckoning Time, whose million'd accidents  
Creep in 'twixt vows, and change decrees of kings,  
Tan sacred beauty, blunt the sharp'st intents,  
Divert strong minds to the course of altering things;  
Alas! why, fearing of Time's tyranny,  
Might I not then say, 'Now I love you best,'  
When I was certain o'er incertainty,  
Crowning the present, doubting of the rest?  
Love is a babe, then might I not say so,  
To give full growth to that which still doth grow?

_My dearest Sara, I still find my feelings unexpressed, but I believe that I could every poem ever written and none would come close to describing my feelings for you. These poets speak of love, but not of our love. They may have touched the edges of what we know and feel, but none could have come close. For surely if they did, they could not have written poetry. For they would have known, as I do now: that this strong a love cannot be expressed in words. _

_My love, my darling, my Sara. I love you with all of my heart, and it will be forever yours._

_Gil xxx_

--------------------------------------------

She looked up too stunned to shed tears at the beauty of the note except the single one already running down her cheek. As she looked up she noticed Brass was no longer in the room, yet she had been too absorbed in the letter to notice. A draught from the direction of the door touched her neck. As she turned she saw Grissom leaning against the doorframe. She sat there stunned, unable to say anything, unable to believe what she was seeing. She only believed what she was seeing when he spoke, and as he did so, a smile slowly spread over her face, her eyes grew slowly wide, and the tears slowly began to fall.

"I WHISPERED, 'I am too young,'  
And then, 'I am old enough';  
Wherefore I threw a penny  
To find out if I might love.  
'Go and love, go and love, young man,  
If the lady be young and fair.'  
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,  
I am looped in the loops of her hair.  
O love is the crooked thing,  
There is nobody wise enough  
To find out all that is in it,  
For he would be thinking of love  
Till the stars had run away  
And the shadows eaten the moon.  
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,  
One cannot begin it too soon."

Quietly she heard herself ask, "Keats?"

"Yeats" He quietly corrected. She ran to him then and found his arms open. She ran into them and wrapped her arms around his waist as he wrapped his around her shoulders. Both of them had tears pouring down their face as they moved properly into the room, allowing the door to fall shut behind them. They stood there just crying and embracing tightly for almost 5 minutes. Until they heard a tentative knock on the door, and a quiet voice asking to come in. Grissom released one of his arms from around her, but kept the other firmly about her shoulder as he turned to face the door. Sara also kept her head resting on his shoulder and an arm tightly around his waist.

"Yes Brass. You can come in." Brass opened the door sheepishly a small smile on his face as he saw the two standing their together.

"You two OK again now?" Grissom only grinned while Sara nodded as she dashed away her final tears. She looked up at Grissom and smiled as he looked down at her, also smiling. Brass coughed before he lost them both entirely.

"Well, if you two are done sorting out your little lovers tiffs then Nick had just finished a case up out here. And he was asking where Sara was as he needed to head back to CSI."

Grissom looked back at Sara. "You ready?" She simply nodded. Brass was losing track of what was happening. Not knowing what had happened between them before, or how much they could ask the other without speaking. Grissom simply smiled wanly at Brass, "Lead the way then." Brass raised an eyebrow as Grissom made no move to let go of Sara but said nothing as he led them out as he shut the door behind them, he finally realised what they meant.

"You two sure you're ready to let them all know? I know you two are going to be perfect together, but is the best time to announce the relationship right after a rocky bit?"

Grissom only smiled at him still. Sara took pity on him though and answered him. "It was all in the letter, also we're now over the rocky bit, and so while we're strong and ready to face them, we might as well. Otherwise things go unsaid for too long, and then they become hard to say." Sara said as Grissom laid a hand lightly on her stomach. She looked up at him gratefully. Knowing that everything truly was fine between them now.

Brass listened and knew that Sara was checking something with Grissom as much as explaining things to him. We looked at his hand on her stomach. "You mean the baby _is_ Grissoms. And you never told him?" Sara blushed slightly while Grissom watched Brass calmly. "Well, I guess that means I win part of the pot." He muttered to himself, but both Sara and Grissom heard him and Sara questioned him about it.

"What pot?" When he didn't answer she put the hand not holding Grissom's on her hip and glared at him. "Jim Brass. What pot are you talking about?" Brass shuffled nervously under Sara's gaze. He looked down at the floor and ground his toe into the floor. Looking for all the world like a 5-year old getting told of by his mother for doing something he wasn't meant to do.

"There was a bet on as to how you were pregnant. The options were Grissom, mystery man and a sperm bank. Me and Nick went for Grissom. Catherine didn't go in. Warrick and Hodges went for sperm bank. And Greg went for mystery man, with the deal that he got an extra 3 dollars from us all if it was from an actor who was working alongside you in a porn film. None of us thought that though. I thought Grissom. I think the pot got up to about $50 each, so I should get half of $250 with Nick." He rambled nervously under Sara's gaze. Grissom suddenly tried not to laugh, breaking the tension.

"Remind me to tell our child if he's in trouble to avoid you for a while. You'll get anything out of them if they saw you first." Sara struggled not to smile and Brass let out a breath in relief that he was not the subject of Sara's gaze now, even if had altered to a loving one and not to stern one as she looked at Grissom.

Grissom managed to stop laughing and took hold of Sara's hand again. "Come on then. I think we have two options, either let them all know that we are together and let Nick know first or tell him know that he had won half the pot. Which do you reckon?"

"I don't reckon we'd be able to stop Brass going to go claim his share of the money. We'll let them find out that way." Grissom nodded and then nodded at Brass who hurriedly led them down the corridor to where Nick was waiting.

"Hey Sara, you OK? You look like you've been crying, was it to do with whatever you got told over the phone? Grissom what are you doing here? I thought --" He stopped as he saw how close they were standing to each other, the identical smiles on their faces and finally their joined hands. He stared at their hands for a minute having trouble connecting the dots. Eventually he looked back up to their faces, to find the same look of hopefulness and also nervousness on them. He began stuttering.

"Griss ... Sara ... hands, together, hands, together ... Sara ... and Grissom." HE began his eyes darting from one to the other. He saw Sara slowly nod at him; a smile suddenly came onto his face. He bounded up to them like a puppy; he pulled them both into a rough hug. "Congratulations you two." He stepped back and they breathed out, gratefully realising they could now breathe again. Their hands still holding onto each other.

Nicks grin suddenly grew. "Woohoo! I just thought of something, I'm the first person, apart from you two, to find out about you two!" Brass coughed and shyly raised his hand. "Sorry Nicky, I was before you."

Nicks grin fell slightly before shooting up again. "Well, I'm still the first CSI to find out right! Woo! I beat Catherine!"

Sara coughed this time. "Sorry Nicky. Cath found out first. Sorry. If it's any help you're the first CSI man to find out about us both." Nick's grin fell slightly again.

After a few moment however, it bounced back on again. "Hey you know what? I don't care. I'm just happy you guys finally sorted yourselves out! Would have been good though" He finished wistfully. Sara looked up at Grissom asking his permission, he nodded slightly; she smiled at him before turning to Nick.

"Nick, if it helps. You and Brass won the pot?" The colour in Nick's face rose slightly as she mentioned the pot before he registered what she had said. A huge grin erupted onto his face as his head slowly rose. Shouting inaudible words and whooping he grabbed them both and pulled them into a hug again, laughing as he whooped.

* * *

_

* * *

I couldn't keep them apart for as long as I wanted, I just couldn't write it and before I knew where I was I had already finished the letter and Sara and Grissom were back together. I hadn't even meant to bring the letter in this soon._

_But I just couldn't separate them for long, it hurt me too much, never mind them._

_Please R & R, because I'm slightly nervous about the letter._


	26. Public Displays of Affection

_Sorry about this chapter, I was stressed and needed to write, but couldn't think of anything to say, so this chapter isn't the best. Please keep reading though._

_And also thank you to everyone who had reviewed, it really helps me to keep writing as well as brightening my day._

_-------------------------------------_

Nick eventually let go of them both leaving them gasping for air. Brass was still stod awkwardly at the side of them, trying not to laugh at the strength of Nick's reaction. Eventually Sara and Grissom both managed to get their breath back as Nick finally managed to stop bouncing around, offering barely understandable congratulations to them both. As he stopped jumping he caught sight of Brass' amused expression, his grin turned slightly sheepish as it seemed to register that he had been jumping around and screaming in the entrance to the LVPD for almost 5 minutes. It didn't stop him still grinning when he looked at the happy couple though. Brass then did start laughing slightly, a low chuckle escaping from his lips. It wasn't long before Nick was joining in with him and was having to hold himself up by bracing his arm on the detective's shoulder.

Sara slowly leant into Grissom as she watched the two men laughing uncontrollably. "Well, I didn't think it was that funny." She mock humphed, making Grissom smile. He looked down at her.

"Just think of it this way, if Nick's reaction is anything to go by the rest of the team should be pretty happy." Sara smiled up at him. Grissom toyed with the idea of kissing her for a moment, after all they were in public and in a building they worked in. He decided though that he didn't care, she was just too beautiful and happy not to kiss at that moment. He reached up and tilted her head up to face him with her chin. He leant down to kiss her. He was surprised though when Sara deepened the kiss, he had not expected it, but he gladly responded.

As he pulled away he grinned down at the woman facing him, her eyes still closed. He bumped her slightly with his hip. "You've obviously got over your inhibitions about intimacy in work."

She bumped her hip back into his, "You started it." She teased. They then both registered the silence coming from Brass and Nick and looked towards them. They looked towards them, Sara still leaning on Grissom. Nick was gaping at them, mouth open, not knowing what to think. Brass was also staring and looked as though he was trying to make his mind up about been either disgusted at watching it or happy to see how happy they were together. Sara whispered into Grissom's ear. "I think we can leave now. Those two look like they need a few moments to work things out in their heads." Grissom smiled and nodded at her.

"Do you reckon we need to head back to work to face the others or shall we let Nick break it to them? When he recovers."

Sara pursed her lips and looked thoughtful for a moment, and looked at her watch before anwering. "Well, there's only about 15 minutes left to end of shift, and it will take about 5 minutes to get back to CSI. I reckon that a similar display should tell them all that they need to know. And then we can leave them all gaping for 5 minutes as we pack up and head off 5 minutes early. What do you reckon?"

He kissed her lightly, "Great idea." He then took her hand and led her out to the parking lot. As he unlocked the door and clambered in he watched as he saw Sara slipping a note into the wipers on Nick's car. She explained as she climbed gracefully into Grissom's car. "Explaining I headed back with you. And reminding him that when him and Brass recover he's won the pot." Grissom chuckled and started driving out of the parking lot. He stopped the car outside of the office. He touched Sara's arm and gestured into the building. Nick and Brass were still stood gaping and staring, even though the two geeks had now moved on and were no longer stood there. Sara simply laughed as Grissom continued to drive to the CSI building.

--------------------

When they arrived they walked in together but not holding hands or maintaining contact. They saw Judi at the front desk but did not see any of the people they were after. The answer was explained when they reached the break room. Greg, Catherine and Warrick were all in there, apparently annoyed judging from the volume issuing from Catherine, the placating expression on Warrick's face, and Greg's barely hidden terror.

Sara and Grissom looked at each other and almost went the other way planning to let Nick tell them. But Catherine had seen them and pulled the door open and dragged them both into the room before turning on them. Asking them question and not giving them time to answer in her anger.

"What did you two think you were doing? You didn't let anyone know where you were or Nick. Why didn't you sign out of the building? You know that you always sign out when you leave the building. Always. I understand you Sara when you have an idea you just go with it. But Nick not telling anyone and Grissom, you always leave us uninformed but you never neglect safety precautions. So where were you? Never mind I already rang everyone I could think of, eventually I managed to get that you Grissom had left PD about 15 minutes before while Sara and Nick had just entered. But Grissom you didn't radio or call anyone to tell them where you were going 'cos you didn't end up back here. So go on where did you go after you left PD?" She glared at them angrily hands on her hips as she paused to draw breath.

Sara saw a chance and darted towards the blond woman and whispered in her ear. Grissom still confused as to what had caused Catherine's outburst and on what Sara was saying to her. Whatever she said seemed to calm and intrigue the older woman. "Now?" She asked, Sara only nodded. "This I gotta hear."

And with that Catherine went and sat down. Grissom looked at Sara as she started walking back to him, he suddenly understood that she had told Catherine that they were planning to tell everyone about them about them now. Apparently though Catherine had got the idea that they were going to say something. He looked at Sara seeking approval of the plan they had worked out. Sara nodded almost imperceptibly and he tried to control the smile which was threatening to appear on his face. He saw a similar struggle on Sara's face.

He held his hand out to her which she took. He then jerked her hand and pulled her the final few steps to him and onto him. Sara was now leaning on him, all of her body pressed against his. Grissom reached up and stroked her cheek, the other hand wrapped around her waist. Sara closed her eyes and moved her face closer into his hand, wrapping her arms around his neck. They both smile at each other slightly knowing that despite the fact they will know what is coming the people in the room will still be shocked, even Catherin. And also knowing that they just won't care.

And with that Grissom finally got rid of the final gap between them as he kissed her deeply but leisurely and slowly. Instantly the fact that others are watching is forgotten as they are both lost in the powerful kiss. Eventually they both pull back breathing heavily but smiling and seeking each others eyes. They find them and remain lost in them until the silence echoing around the room manages to make itself known to them. They both turn and look back at the people in the break room. They saw Greg staring shocked and also slightly disappointed. Warrick simply shocked as he stares at them both. Catherines smirk was still frozen on her face but her eyes portrayed the shock she was at how open they were. Grissom chuckling quietly, grabs some paper and a pen from his pack, writes a quick note and walks over to the table and lay it on the table.

Everyones eyes followed his path across the room, but none of them moved. He laid the note on the table and walked back to Sara's side, ignoring her questioning look about the note, he takes her hand and walks out of the room. As the door shuts behind them a multitude of sounds arise from the room. Greg almost gagging and rushing over to the sink to grab a drink of water. Warrick cheering and shouting through to them how glad he was that they finally got their act together.

Both listened for Catherine's repsonse. But heard silence for a moment followed by a laughing fit so strong that they heard her almost fall of her chair. They hear her shouting through to them "Glad you finally told him Sar." Sara blushed slightly as Grissom looked at her "Catherine knew?" Sara just looked the other way, but relaxed when she felt Grissom's arm settle about her shoulders as he continued to lead her towards the exit.

Back in the break room, Warrick and Greg finally managed to get a hold on themselves enough to notice Catherine. Warrick ran to her and peered concernedly into her face, she just waved the note she was holding in his face which Grissom had left on the table.

Warrick took it from her and swallowed audibly as he read it before handing it to Greg and also laughing. Greg read it and a smile burst onto his face as he finished the note afterwards his face paled slightly. Seeing Warrick now laughing at his expression Greg also joined in the laughin, albeit nervously. The note lay ignored on the table next to Greg's hand.

----------------------------------

_By the way guys, you all lost the pot. Brass and Nick won._

_p.s. Greg, when you manage to control yourself you might want to run, I don't appreciate you insinuating that the mother of my child became pregnant due to a porn film_

_--------------------------------_

Grissom climbed into his car, a tightly controlled smile on his face, as he shut the door behind him he was surprised to see Sara staring at him from her seat. "What on earth did you write on that note?" Grissom told her what he had written. Sara simply smiled at him and took his hand, "Honey we really need to work on your threats."


	27. Smile, Joke, Kiss, Smile

As they drove back home (Sara's in this case) their hands stayed holding onto each other. Neither wanting to let go of the other ever again. As they pulled up outside, Grissom tugged on Sara's hand not hard enough to hurt her but hard enough to pull her towards him where she found her lips caught by his unexpectedly, she gasped slightly at the strength of the kiss. She opened her eyes as he pulled back again, surprised to see so much desire reflected in his gaze. She watched him as he came around to the other side of the car, opened the door for her, and picked her up from the car.

She immediately started giggling uncontrollably as he pushed the door shut with his body. He only grinned at her, he considered her for a moment and headed up the stairs to her apartment. When outside he was forced to put her down. Breathing heavily, as Sara unlocked the door. She watched him with concern as she saw how heavy his breathing was.

"I've told you before I'm too heavy." He smiled at her.

"You're fine. Junior however is another matter." She smiled gently at him and pushed the door open, she leaned against the frame watching him. He started when he saw her leaning back out of the door and a hand grabbed his shirt and dragged him bodily inside. She pushed the door shut with her foot as she kissed him passionately. She continued dragging him with her as she led him, their kiss never breaking and losing various of clothing on the way, into her bedroom.

* * *

They lay there afterwards panting as Sara rolled off Grissom. Both lay there breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling until they got their breath back. Once they had Sara sidled over to Grissom and wriggled under his arm when he lifted it up. His arm wrapped securely around her shoulders Sara breathed in his scent mixed with sweat and smiled. She then remembered what she had worked out earlier and told Grissom. 

"You know what, I think I've cried and sighed more in the last 4 months then I have in years." Grissom remained silent for a moment as he knew that he was the cause.

"Same here." He muttered eventually. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you're here now, that's what matters. And besides half of the crying was from laughing. At you not with you." Grissom chuckled softly. And began stroking her hair and twirling it around his fingers.

"Sara, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can. What do you want to know?"

"What do you actually see in me? I know we love each other and that love sees through imperfections but I still don't know what you saw in me in the first place? I mean I'm geeky, awkward, my social skills are non-existent, I'm incapable of showing emotion or affection, I'm older than you. And I have bandy legs." Sara smiled at the last point but didn't laugh, knowing that he was taking a huge step by being open about his insecurities. So instead she addressed each point one by one, as she linked her fingers through his.

"Well, as for the geeky so am I, your only awkward when you don't know which to do which I find adorable. I don't care about your social skills, you can talk to me and that's what matters. As for showing emotion and affection, you do it subconsciously, when you cover me in a blanket if I fall asleep, when you fluff the pillows for me, when you compliment me unexpectedly, at home you are the most affectionate man I know. Also you do show emotion, when people know you they can tell what you mean even if you don't say it. And I would never expect you to be overly affectionate in public anyway, just because it isn't you. There also isn't that much of an age gap between us, and it's taken me this long to get you that I'm not going to let what is only a number stand in the way. And the bandy legs you don't notice, because from the front I end up watching your face and from the back you have the most perfect ass ever, which kind of takes the focus away from your legs.

Can I ask you something now?"

"Of course my dear, ask and I shall answer."

"What did you see in me? I'm gangly, I have boring greasy hair, my eyes are also plain and boring. I'm flat-chested, and my legs are out of proportion to my body."

Grissom also wanted to laugh, she still had no idea even after all he had told her about how beautiful she was, but he also instead only addressed what she had said.

"First of all you are not gangly, you are tall and slender. Your hair is glorious as are your eyes. You're not flat-chested, your breasts seem quite perfect to me, and your legs are long and glorious and in perfect proportion. They're also especially fabulous when they are wrapped around someones body." Sara drew a sharp breath inward, she was still not use to the compliments Grissom generally gave her, generally when she was least expecting them. But he very rarely mentioned anything like that, and if he did it was only because she had insinuated something similar and he was just responding.

Sara sat up slightly and punched him gently on the arm when she felt him try to suppress another chuckle at her surprise. She looked at his face though and could not help but smile and so laid down again, resting on him. She felt her head move slightly as he laughed softly.

"What?" She asked amused.

"I just realised something. I never knew that was the reason behind it before." Sara still didn't understand fully.

"Gil, what are you trying to say?"

He laughed again slightly but continued on talking. "I've just realised about when we go out. When we are walking through a door. You obviously just make me go through first so that you can admire 'the most perfect ass ever'. I always just assumed it was to stop me looking at yours. Which I must say is also pretty darn good." He slid his hand down her back and lightly squeezed one of her cheeks, before continuing speaking. "Yes, definitely near the top. You have a very good tush."

Sara was still staring at him in shock.

"What happened to you saying you were socially awkward and not affectionate, and unable to show what you thought?" She teased as she regained control of her mind. He simply shrugged.

"I guess you don't count anymore honey." She laughed at him and began battering at him with a pillow. Knowing that everything now was back to normal. Especially when he interrupted the pillow battering by suddenly kissing her strongly and smiling at her as he pulled back.

Sara still stunned slightly from the force of the kiss, no more forceful than earlier ones, but appearing more forceful when unexpected, lay back down against him. He began running his fingers over her hair again and began drifting to sleep, relaxing in his embrace.

"Sara?"

"Mmmmm."

"I think I love you, I don't think I ever want to let you go."

Sara's breath caught in her chest. "Ditto." She managed to whisper breathlessly after a minute as she felt him kissing the top of her head.

* * *

Sara awoke and immediately became worried. As previous events rushed in on her mind. She remembered Grissom leaving angrily. She lifted her hand to wipe away the tears which had already begun to form, at just the thought of her life without him now. As she raised her hand she shifted slightly and became aware of a weight lying across her stomach. 

She looked down and saw an arm lying across her still mainly flat stomach, gently, protectively. She knew immediately that it was Grissom's and as she did so remembered the day before. They had barely been apart for a day and it had still hurt her. But nowhere near as much as it pleased her to know that he was there again. She turned to face the man lying next to her, a sheepish smile on her face as she realised that she had only being panicking because she hadn't given herself time to wake up properly and remember anything.

Her smile turned into a true one when she saw that he was already awake and watching her, also smiling.

"You know, if I think about it you always watching me by making sure I go to sleep first and making sure I wake up second could be sign of obsession, verging on stalker."

"Stalker, never. Obsessed, always." He watched her laughter play across all her features as well as hearing it, before kissing her. When Grissom leaned back he smiled down at her again.

"You know I think that might be a good way to start everyday. A smile, a joke, a kiss and then another smile." Sara laughed again making Grissom smile even more.

"I'm game. But it's your turn to do the joke tomorrow. Know any good ones?"

"Maybe we skip the joke."

"How about - we leave - the smile - as well - and go - straight - to - the - kiss?" She said, punctuating each break with a kiss placed on a different place, first the left corner of his jaw, then the right corner, his left cheekbone, then his right, his forehead, the middle of his chin, the tip of his nose and finally his mouth before adding the final word to her sentence. Grissom lay there for a minute, not yet able to respond. Eventually in a slight cracked voice he managed to reply,

"Well my dear. I think that sounds like a good idea. But you will have to get that kiss in quick if you don't expect me to smile when I first see you properly for that day." Sara smiled fondly at him and placed a hand on his cheek.

"Gil, you do know I love you?"

"I do. But it's always nice to hear."

And with that he suddenly got up, "Come on, let's get some food sorted." He then continued to the door and walked out of the bedroom. Sara sat on the bed slightly stunned. She stared as he bobbed his head around the doorframe a second later, "Come on, I'm hungry." Before pulling back again. Sara blew out her breath not knowing entirely why she suddenly felt so stood up. She watched as Grissom poked his head around the door again spoke to her and disappeared off down the corridor.

"Love you too Sara."


	28. Facing the Team

Sara shook her head and looked back towards the door Grissom had just left again. She looked up to see Grissom's head poked back around the corner again, a huge grin plastered onto his face. He came into the room slightly and started advancing on her, his hands outstretched to tickle her. Sara smiled jokily and ran to the other side of the room. Grissom continued to walk towards her as Sara began throwing pillows at him, also with a grin plastered onto her face.

As Grissom reached her she made to throw her last cushion and as she let go of it she felt Grissoms hand close about her wrist and spin her around and into his arms. Moving his hand from her wrist to her hand as he moved his other hand to the back of her head and kissed her strongly. As he finally realised her he kept hold of her hand as after gaining her breath back she giggled softly and allowed him to lead her into the kitchen.

"How do you fancy pancakes this morning?" Sara smiled and nodded her approval, she lightly kissed him and then went about the kitchen getting all the things she needed. Then sorting out plates and drinks as Grissom started making the actual pancakes, both going about their jobs in comfortable silence. Both happy to be in the company of the other and not yet feeling the need to speak.

They chatted idly about general things as they ate the pancakes together. And stayed there talking after they had finished eating. Grissom noting that Sara was looking worried and was adding comments less and less often. Eventually he reached across the table and laid his hand on hers.

"Sara honey. What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong." She replied quickly, her voice pitched slightly higher than usual.

"Sara."

Sara sighed and glanced away before looking at him. "We have to face the team today."

"Sara, what do you mean, they already know about us now?" Sara stared at him. Before realising that he truly didn't know what she meant. Seeing that he was still concerned she explained what she meant to him.

"I know they know about us, but they haven't spoken to us about it yet. We still don't know how they'll react. And I really want them to be happy for us. I don't want to have to lose them to keep you." She watched as realisation dawned in his eyes. He looked at her gently, pulled the hand he was holding up to his lips and kissed it before placing both their hands together back on the table.

"It'll be fine. They all know us, and they all know we wouldn't do something like this and tell them unless we were serious. They'll have had time to get over the shock now. They'll all just be happy that we finally got our act together. And we don't even have to tell them that the baby is also mine. They already know that and so that will have already sunk in as well. Besides if they do have any problems, Catherine can help, she already knew and she was happy. Sweetie, it'll all be fine."

A tear leaked down Sara's cheek as she noted the softness in Grissom's words. Knowing that he was probably right. She nodded at him.

She smiled but also looked guilty as he continued, "Besides, look how close we are again and I only found out yesterday. They'll get over it quick enough. I'm sure."

"OK. Can we head in a bit early though, so that we don't have to deal with them as a group, and so that they don't say anything about watching us arrive together?" He smiled back at her, "Of course we can dear."

He stood up and pulled her up into a hug. He chuckled as a thought occurred to him. At Sara's questioning look he explained what he had just realised.

"You know how you told me I really needed to work on my threats? Well, we can see how this one went when we see Greg this morning." Sara giggled as well as she realised. Grissom leaned back slightly but still holding her.

"I love making you laugh."

"And I love you making me laugh." Grissom chuckled and pulled her back into the hug.

* * *

Grissom felt Sara reach for his hand and grasp it tightly as they headed towards the entrance at work. He squeezed it reassuringly and moved so that he was walking closer to her. Both had seen that though they were there extra early, the team had had the same thought as everyone's cars were already there as Sara and Grissom had pulled up in Grissom's car together. Happy that they could arrive together, but also noticing how unusual it felt to be able to do that and so noticing how much things had changed recently. Both between them since he had found out, and knowing that even though they would try not to, it would still invade work even it was just the odd comment from their co-workers.

She tried to alleviate the tension she was feeling, "Well, I guess that blows the chance of breaking it to them one at a time." She said, while laughing nervously. Grissom saw through her lightheartedness and saw how nervous she really was. He stopped walking but kept hold of her hand, pulling her around to face him and took hold of her other hand.

He looked into her face, his expression serious and honest, "Sara. If you want you can wait here and I'll go see them. I don't mind if you want me to speak to them first." Sara stared at him speechless, she could tell that he was just as nervous if not more nervous than her, but he was still willing to go in alone so that she didn't have to. Id she hadn't already loved him she would have fallen in love with him them.

"No, we said we'd talk to them together, so we'll talk to them together." She looked into his face for another moment. She then laid her hand on his cheek, "I love you."

He placed his hand on top of hers. "I love you too." They looked at each other for another moment before hands held they walked the last few steps to the corner before the people in the break room would see them.

* * *

Sara subconsciously moved closer to Grissom as they rounded the corner. So much so that she was almost leaning against him, and her arm was firmly pressed up against his. He knew that they had agreed to not show too much affection and their obvious couple-hood at work so that it was less awkward for the others, but he didn't move away.

He needed her support and touch as much as she needed his and both drew confidence from the connection. Sara also placed a splayed hand onto her abdomen, almost protectively and defiantly, as they drew closer to the break room. Grissom glanced down, somehow it always shocked him to see a small lump there, it was always bigger than he remembered it being.

They both stared at the sight of what was awaiting them as they continued down the corridor. All the team were in there. Greg sat towards the back, looking sheepish. Nick sat in the chair staring back at them. Warrick on the arm of the sofa, next to Catherine, watching the couple approaching. Catherine sat her head slightly down, a slightly smug but sympathetic smile on her face. All of them however were watching the two people silently with a grim expression shared on all of their faces.

An intimidating sight to anyone, but especially when it was from your closest friends, who were closer to family anyway. All the smiling and laughing gone, to be replaced with grim-faced determination. The playful banter between them all gone, and replaced with a stony silence. Their totally different personalities and natures all combined into a joint impenetrable wall, unrecognisable to anyone who knew them.

Grissom and Sara drew more apprehensive as they approached. They had expected upset at not telling them and even maybe anger feeling that they had been betrayed by being lied to. They had also assumed that they would relax and hopefully be happy for them, or even if not happy then at least accept it albeit reluctantly. They hadn't considered the possibility of them not accepting them. They had known things would change, that was unstoppable, and it would be foolish to try and stop things altering. They hadn't expected things to change.

Instead of seeing the faces of upset or angry friends, they saw a wall of strangers, who hardly seemed to recognise them.

* * *

Both Grissom and Sara quailed inside, but outside tried to keep on a neutral expression and managed not to show too much how much seeing there friends like that had affected them.

They both knew that once they opened the door, things would be changed, and that nothing could change them back. They also knew that there was no way that things would be the same even if they didn't open the door. Grissom drew in a deep breath and turned the handle as he approached it.

He slowly and quietly walked into the room, holding the door open for Sara and then shutting it behind her, before going to sit next to her at the table. Their hands clasped under the table top.

Silence was the only response from both sides of them room. Both sides realising that they were indeed sat opposite each other, and both knowing something would have to give and someone had to say something soon. But not even uniting in the fact that none of it wanted to be them.

Eventually Sara broke the silence, muttering quietly, and barely audibly. "Guys, we're both really sorry."

Silence was the only reply for a full 3 minutes, until sound burst from the opposite sound of the room as virtually everyone began answering at once. All except Catherine.

Who sat there, her eyes darting between the newly discovered couple and the group of people she was sat among. Hoping that it could be solved and that it wouldn't end the only way she could see possible right now. Still unsure as to what the outcome of that would be.

Grissom and Sara having to choose between their love for each other, or their love for the rest of the team.


	29. Having his Baby & Mirror Images

Catherine continued to sit there silently as the group of people around her continued demanding answers and explanations from the couple at the opposite end of the room. The comments and questions around her barely audible due to the sheer bulk of them and slowly rising in volume.

Sara and Grissom just sat there watching, not saying anything, or doing anything to stem the flow. Both feeling extremely upset at their co-workers response, neither noting Catherine silently watching them, watching how the body language between them had changed subtly now that the team had found out. She also realised just how much strength they were gathering from where their hands were clasped, hidden to everyone else, under the table.

She allowed everything to carry on for a few more minutes before knowing that something had to be done. Greg's phrasing and insults were becoming wilder and wilder. Nick was beginning to let his anger show. Pain was radiating from Warrick sat at the side of her. Sara looked like she was trying to hold back tears, and Grissom was slowly retreating more and more into himself and closing more and more of himself off with each passing moment.

She placed a hand on Warricks upper arm. He feel silent as he turned to look at her. Her look said everything it needed to, and he didn't resume speaking. She smiled thankfully at his understanding and silence, squeezed his arm slightly before standing up. She slowly walked to the middle of the room between the two parties. Grabbed a chair and sat at the side of the divide, closer to neither of the groups and still saying nothing. She calmly watched Nick and Greg until Nick stopped speaking as Greg slowly trailed into silence, muttering a few choice words before subsiding into quietness.

She sighed as she stood up, she had not wanted to be part of this, she had just wanted to hang in the background until the team accepted it. She had even gotten here early to tell everyone to be easy on the couple. Despite saying nothing and showing no anger, the silence in the room still stayed as no-one dared speak almost as though her commanding presence forbid it. Eventually she did speak, her voice low and calm.

"I know you all want to hear about it, and express your views, but nothing productive is going to happen if you all shout at once. I'm sure they would both be happy to listen and answer anything you say or ask." She said sparing a quick glance at Grissom and Sara before turning her attention back to the others. "Now, I am going to get some coffee, and then we are all going to calm down and act like adults."

She did not use any tone but everyone still watched her silently as she went and got the coffee before sitting back on the chair, none of them daring to disobey what she had said. Catherine forced herself to breathe calmly and remain in control as she moved to the coffee machine. She was containing and hiding her anger but only just, even though she knew that half of the anger came from fear that this would split the team up even though they should be celebrating. She also knew though that the rest of it came from annoyance. They were all grown men and yet they were still shouting at Grissom and Sara, simply for daring to finally take a chance on that relationship. She knew that Warrick had been won around when she had touched his arm, he had seen the similarities between Grissom and Sara, and himself and Catherine. Finally taking the chance on that relationship, and not showing it to the rest of the team in case it failed. Both Catherine and Warrick knew though that the risk was still slightly less for them than it had been for Sara and Grissom.

She forced herself to carefully smooth her face. '_Well, if they want to act like children, I will treat them like children. If I have to stand over them and walk them through step-by-step until they accept the relationship then I will. I just hope somebody will do the same for me and Warrick. And that the team will get through this.'_ It suddenly struck her that the only thing standing between the total collapse of the group and happiness for Grissom and Sara was her, her calmness and what she said. She silently thanked all the arguments she had ever had with Lindsey, as they meant she knew exactly when to push and when to leave things alone, when to show sympathy or anger or understanding. When the time came to wrap it up and the exact tone of voice to deliver the final devastating statement in.

She sat back down and took a sip of coffee before looking at the couple. "Grissom, would you like to start?" He stared at her wildly, not knowing what to say. Eventually he said the only thing he knew was true and the basic reason for all of this.

"I love her." Catherine silenced the guys with a single look as Sara responded. "I love him too. And I'm having his baby."

None of the team knew how to respond to this simple statement. They all stared speechless their eyes going from Grissom to Sara before returning to Grissom and then back to Sara over and over again. Catherine allowed a moment for this to sink in and then knew that she had to break the silence. Again she thanked all her fights with Lindsey silently before continuing, in a calm, controlled and measured voice.

"Now, Sara and Grissom have spoken, does any one have any questions to put to them both?" She forced herself to control her expression and only keep a reassuring and supportive smile on it, instead of howling with laughter when she saw Nick's response to his question. She watched as he tentatively raised his hand, almost as though a pupil in a class who didn't quite understand something.

"Yes Nick?"

"How long have you two been together?"

Sara opened her mouth to speak but found herself cut off as Grissom also answered, she stayed quiet to allow him to answer the question.

"About 4 months altogether now Nick. There was a gap in the middle where we weren't quite sure. But it started about 4 months ago."

"When did it start?" Grissom looked at Nick, unsure of what he meant and the difference between the question and his previous answer. He closed his mouth gratefully as Sara answered.

"I can't tell you a date. But it was just after the case where I got hurt. The one where Robbie was killed." She felt Grissom squeeze her hand and was grateful for the extra contact. Her mind had been filled with memories of the case and the similarities it had borne for her. His touch reminded her of the time afterwards however. She forced her face to remain calm and her mind to remain blank.

She looked up at the blank faces surrounding her. She had only just realised that the majority of them would not remember who Robbie was, they would vaguely recall the case but not from the details she had given.

"Just before I went away for the month." She watched as they finally managed to place a time on it. Suddenly the reasonably calm atmosphere was broken by Greg shouting out.

"You mean that was why you left us? Because you finally got it on with Grissom here? My God man! You must have been bad if you scared her away for a whole month."

Sara grimaced at Greg's wording and then held tightly onto Grissoms hand, partly to keep him calm, and partly so that she didn't laugh. Grissom's previously slightly embarrassed face was replaced with a look of annoyance.

"You're still on that warning from the note Greg." He growled at him. Catherine inwardly sighed happily knowing that it would now be sorted and decided to join in the drama and teasing. She threw her arms dramatically into the air, saying in a loud voice, "And here I was trying to keep things calm and keeping you at opposite ends of the room." Nick laughed before suddenly jumping up and heading for Sara. He crashed into her with a powerful hug. Before even reaching over and hugging Grissom, pulling the older man into a strong bear hug before rubbing his knuckles on his head and saying "You sly old fox."

Grissom struggled to get away, both forgetting how little they would normally touch and slightly sheepish grin on his face. He sighed as Nick released him, only to find everyone else, including Catherine, bunching around them pressing them with comments and hugs and jokes.

Eventually Sara and Grissom seemed to be able to make it to the edge of the circle breathing heavily. Everyone had finally finished teasing them, laughing at and with them, hugging them, congratulating them and saying all manner of things lost in the general chaos of the event. They turned around to find Warrick and Nick jumping against each other and bashing stomachs in mid-air. Greg was hugging Catherine and dancing around gleefully. Sara smiled gently at Grissom and eagerly came under his arm when he raised it for her. Leaning into him she breathed in his scent as she continued to watch everybodies reaction now that they had accepted it. Looking across the circle she glanced at Catherine and caught her eye. Grinning at her as she saw her in the same position as her but with Warrick.

Catherine grinned slightly sheepishly in reply and turned back to watch Nick and Greg, who were currently making up obscure rhymes and references as they danced around in a circle their right arms linked at the elbow, skipping. Sara and Catherine and their appropriate men were all grinning as Nick and Greg suddenly realised that they were the only ones still celebrating.

They glanced at Sara and Grissom and then at Warrick and Catherine doing a double-take when they saw them. They immediately returned to their dancing and singing after hugging them both roughly.

Catherine looked up at Warrick fondly and kissed him gently.

Sara looked up at Grissom and saw her loving expression matched with his. They stared lovingly at each other for a few moments before also kissing.

Sara and Catherine caught each others eye as they resumed watching Greg and Nick. Sara watched her and she nodded slightly in reply. Sara smiled gratefully before taking hold of Grissom's hand and leading him slowly but firmly out of the room.

When they were outside of the building Grissom spun her around and looked at her.

"What was that about with Catherine?"

"Did we say anything?"

"Darling. I _know_ how much you can get across in a look without speaking." Sara smiled up at him gently.

"She's giving us the day off." Grissom stared at her slightly, not fully understanding.

"But the guys have only just accepted us as a couple, we can't really go off and leave now, we still need to show them we can work together."

"Catherine'll cover it. Trust me. They'll hardly notice we're gone. They'll be more bothered over her and Warrick, and if not I'm sure she can persuade them to be."

Grissom shook his head. "I'll never be able to understand the female mind, it's too complex."

Sara laughed lightly. "Life would be boring if you could."

He nodded "Must be all those extra hormones." She laughed lightly and hugged him.

"So what are we going to do with our day off then?" She asked after a moment.

"Well, I reckon I take you for that meal I promised you, we can actually go out in the evening for once. And after that I know a spot just on the border to the desert where you get the most perfect view of the sunrise."

Sara sighed, imagining how beautiful it would be and also recogonising the romantic side of Grissom come out again. Each time it did it still took her breathe away. She was still surprised at how the strength of their emotions continued to grow past what she thought possible and how much their relationship had grown even within the last few weeks. The physical side had been dwindling due to her pregnancy but the emotional side kept continuing to grown.

She smiled lovingly up at him. Kissed him gently and then whispered "Sounds good."

* * *

_Sorry if anyone thought the reaction of the team was a bit strong at first, but I didn't want and everybody instantly happy, and I got carried away. O well, all happy now._

_Next chapter might take a while. Sorry about that. Will be up as soon as I can get it up._

_Thanks for continuing to read_

_Especially all those who review whether it is positive or negative._

_P _


	30. Paperwork

The tenderness of Grissom still continued to shock Sara over the following months. He still made sure she ate right, made sure she got enough rest, made sure that she walked short distances but refused to let her walk further than she should. The restrictions he placed on her at work though both annoyed and touched her. She was annoyed that she was no longer allowed to work out in the field unless it was nearby and there was at least one other person working on the case (usually Grissom as the rest barely dared to take her out of the building without his approval after what he had done to Greg when he had persuaded her to take him out on a case in the desert so that he could practice.) She was touched though by both how much he cared for her and their baby.

Also at how she would enter a room in the lab and only a few minutes later he would appear there with a stool and some juice for her. She was surprised at how quickly her pregnancy passed. She had only seemed to have blinked before she realised that her due date was only a few weeks away and she was only reminded by Grissom telling her that she needed to go to one of her last checkups that she would have until the baby was been born.

Everyone had accepted both her and Grissoms relationship and Warrick and Catherines. Sara smiled at the time they had all gone to breakfast for the first time when all 4 of them were open at their relationships. She had been sat leaning on Grissom and head just kissed him and Catherine was holding Warricks hand when Nick suddenly looked at Greg. "Hey man, I think we need to get some girlfriends, and _real_ soon." He turned to look back at the rest of the team "Everyone else seems to be hooking up with one of the team. And I don't particularly like the partner I've been left with" He said pointing his head in Greg's direction, soliciting a punch from Greg and laughter from everyone else.

The smile was still on her face at the memory when Grissom came into the bedroom smiling at her. He kissed her on the forehead before greeting her.

"Morning my love. Glad to see you're awake now." She smiled gently but didn't say anything. Seeing in his face that he wanted to tell or ask her something.

"Darling do you know what I've just realised. You're already months past the stage where you should have had morning sickness. But I never saw you having any. Did you just not get any 'cos that's rare and not a good sign."

Sara smiled again at his concern. "No, I just got it really early in the morning while you were still asleep. It stopped after about 4 months in though. I never wanted to wake you was all. You couldn't have done anything anyway and it wasn't that bad."

"Sweetie, you could've woken me up. I wouldn't have minded." She shrugged.

"You needed the sleep." Grissom sighed knowing that he wouldn't win this one.

"Fine. I think you win this one. But next time wake me up, ok?"

"Next time?"

Grissom's eyes widened when he realised what it must have sounded like he had implied. "Sara. I didn't mean next time you have morning sickness if you have another baby. I meant next time something is happening with you or whenever you wake up for whatever reason or -"

He was silenced as she lay a finger on his lips, "I know what you meant." she whispered. She smiled gently at him. "You should have seen your face though while you were ranting" she muttered after a moment straining to stifle the giggles threatening to come out. He mock glared at her and then laughed as her giggles broke through.

Instead of saying anything he climbed onto the bed, placed a pillow against the headboard and sat back against it. He reached out and pulled Sara into his arms and they simply lay there one of his hands stoking her hair, while his other lay entwined with hers above her, now rather large, stomach.

They lay there until the alarm went off. They were usually up before hand but still left it set in case they slept in. He reached over and hit snooze, the silence now broken.

"Sara, your due date is a week and a day away now isn't it?"

"Yeah, as of tomorrow."

"Well then you do realise you can't technically come into work anymore."

She sat up and turned around to face him.

"Gil, we've been through this. I am not going to stop work just because I'm pregnant, I'm already confined to the lab virtually, you're not keeping me cooped up at home."

"Sweetie, _legally_, you have to stop work when your due date is 2 weeks away. all I've done is limit you to the lab. But the baby could arrive anytime now, you can't keep coming into work. You're already a week over when you should come."

"Gil!" She sighed exasperatedly, "You can't expect me to stay at home all day by myself until the baby comes. I'll go mad. Your the supervisor, can't you pull some strings or something."

"Darling, I've already pulled all the strings I can pull. You can come into the lab but you can't work. That's the best I can do. With you gone and Nick off at that conference for two days we're short-handed. I can't get the time off, not until Nick comes back. And then I promise I won't leave you home alone."

Sara pouted and Grissom laid his thumb on her stuck out bottom lip, smiling at how absolutely adorable she looked. "Promise?" she asked

"Nothing could keep me away." He promised, Sara smiled at him softly. "Come on then, let's go get some breakfast." She allowed him to drag her up off the bed with her hand and lead her into the kitchen.

He sat Sara down a stool before he started making the breakfast chatting idly to her as he did. When he stopped she asked him a question which had being confusing her.

"Gil? What are we going to do about my apartment? What I mean is we've been spending more and more time here, I don't think I've slept in my apartment in about 4 months, and you've already set up the nursery here I just don't see the need for my apartment anymore."

When he didn't reply Sara bit her lip anxiously, scared that she had pushed too much.

"I obviously mean if that's alright with you, I'm not meaning to push you or anything, I don't want to make it seem like I'm forcing you to live with me, it's just that we haven't spent a night apart since I got back, and I think we've spent very little time in different places, your house definitely has the most space, and you've already set the nursery up here, which is beautiful still by the way, I don't want to make you feel pressured -"

He kissed her forehead and pulled her into a hug to cut her off. He stroked her hair as he held her to calm her down. "You're adorable when you whitter and rant like that." And yes Sara, I would love to officially live with you. I was just thinking about different options. We could either keep it if you want, because of memories there, or we can let it go. Seen as you were renting it in the first place we can't rent it out to anyone else and keep it and we can't sell it."

"Well, I do like it but I think most of my best memories are here. I mean our first time was here, the first time you told me that you loved me and that you needed me to be with you was here, also that night. But most of my happy memories are here since I came to Vegas, and either way virtually all of them have been with you, so as long as I'm with you I don't really need the other apartment. I can't thing of any good especially good memories from there, I mean we were there when I told you the baby was yours and when we had any arguments about the clinic it was over there." Grissom nodded.

"Our first kiss was there though, the first time I realised how deeply I loved you was there, the first time I held you close in Vegas was there. So there are quite a few good moments there."

"But the only one of those which I can share in was the kiss, and although that was pretty good I don't think we need the apartment."

Grissom nodded and still kept hold of her. "We can talk to your landlord in a few days then."

Grissom kissed the top of her head and let go of her as he continued breakfast. When he had finished he turned around and saw that she was no longer sat on the stool. Curious he laid down the food and went in search of her. He eventually found her sat in the nursery.

"I still can't believe you got all this ready for me. I was only gone for the afternoon." She said to him, still staring out of the window without turning around. He came across to the chair, pulled her up out of it, sat down and then pulled her back down so that she was sat on his lap.

"I wanted it to be perfect for you."

"It's beautiful." She said smiling as she remembered what he had done. She had been gone for an afternoon for one of her checks, the doctor had been scared that she had been gaining too much weight, Grissom for once had decided not to go with her, saying that he had to stay at home and get some paperwork done. She had headed off for the appointment and when she had got back found him standing nervously checking around the spare room, which while she had been gone had been turned into the ideal nursery. Complete with a neutral cot, mobiles above the cot, blankets placed on top of the box, the perfect chair for sitting in to send the baby to sleep, even down to changing the light fittings to ones which a child was more likely to like.

He shifted slightly, bringing her back to the present, realising that she had been lost in her thoughts for a while. "I think the breakfast will be getting cold" he murmured into her ear. She nodded slightly and stood up, Grissom followed her up and then followed her into the kitchen. They sat eating breakfast idly discussing various topics, none of which were of great importance. After a while Grissom though knew that he would soon have to go to work.

"Right, I'm off to go shower and get dressed." Sara nodded sadly, understanding that he would have to leave soon.

Grissom came out of the shower, and was surprised by Sara immediately getting in after him, they normally only did that when they both had to get to work. He shrugged and soon began to dress, again shocked to see Sara doing the same as him. Placing on the maternitysuit skirton (she had been unable to find any pants she could actually work in for months)which she normally only wore at work, and placing on a reasonably smart maternity shirt, one she had occasionally gone to work in. Grissom said nothing and continued to get ready, only saying something when she stood waiting by the door for him.

"Sara, you know you can't work."

"And Gil I'm not going to actually work, you said I could come to the lab as long as I didn't work. So that's what I'm going to do. I've got a baby book with me to read, and their are always forensic magazines there if I get bored."

Grissom knew that he also wouldn't win this one, instead he simply held his hand out to her and took her with him to work.

The team had known that she would be leaving soon and all had assumed that she would go when she reached two weeks before and greeted her with varying degrees of surprise when they saw her, but with the same understanding dawning on their faces when she explained that she was only staying in the lab and not actually working.

None of them were surprised when shift started to see that Grissom had decided that as his case was finished he would catch up on paperwork in the break room, even though there was another case which needed attention he simply split up Warrick and Catherine instead, so that he could 'do paperwork.' His excuse fooled no-one. But none of them said anything, understanding that there were virtually no circumstances which could keep him away from Sara this close to her due date and for such a long time.


	31. rainwater, stormwater, brokenwater

Grissom sat there, trying to actually focus on the paperwork in front of him. He tried to keep his eyes on the work which lay on the table but they kept drifting to the woman sitting on the couch at the other side of the room. He had purposefully sat at the table on the opposite Sara, he knew that he would not have chance of working if he tried as he was sat, and also knew that he had no chance of working if he was anywhere near Sara.

He just wanted to lay on the couch, hold her in his arms, talk about what their child might be like, lay his hand over her stomach and feel the movements of their child beneath his hand. His hands, arms and every fibre of him tried to resist the impulse to go over, crouch in front of the couch, whisper to Sara how beautiful she was, tuck the loose wisps of hair which were scattered across her face behind her ears, tell her how much he loved her. He forced his eyes back to the paper in front of him, but only read one sentence (one he had already read 3 times) before he found himself watching her again.

He smiled as she tried and failed to stifle a yawn. "Tired honey?" She nodded her head slightly.

"Just lay down there then, I'll wake you up if anything happens. Sorry there isn't anywhere quieter."

She looked at him. There was somewhere quieter, there was a couch in his office, and that would be virtually silent. Understanding what she was thinking he answered her unvoiced question.

"Ecklie 'accidentally' broke my worm farm the other week, he's only just got around to asking someone to clean it. He told me I wasn't allowed as there were living things involved and that the office had to be cleaned and sanitised before anyone could go back in. They were in there this afternoon, and the 12 hours to get the smell out of the room haven't passed yet. So, sorry, but here's the best I can do."

Sara nodded tiredly and laid the book she was reading down on the floor next to her. Grissom looked at the book, it was another of her many on babies and pregnancy, she had been going over all the sections on the actual birth recently. When he looked back up to her face she was sound asleep. He finally managed to get some work done.

After an hour of actually managing to work while Sara napped he stood up, rubbing the back of his neck which ached from sitting hunched over his work. He walked to the window and groaned at what he saw.

It was raining. Hard.

Vegas wasn't built for rain, he had tried to raise the situation with the sheriff several times, that Vegas needed some drains which could cope with the water and each time was fobbed off with excuses. He groaned aloud as he heard the rumble of thunder and saw the lights flicker. It was going to be a big storm, he wondered how much of the city would be fit and hoped fervently that nothing happened to Sara during the time that the city was hit by the storm.

"Gil?" He heard the faint sound coming from the couch. He looked over to see Sara, eyes still sleepy and hair tousled from lying on it, sitting up slightly and watching him.

He went over and raised her slightly off the couch. He sat down and the laid her down again so that her head now rested on his lap. He sat there idly stroking her hair as he answered her and spoke to her.

"Yes dear?"

"It's raining isn't it? Is there going to be a storm?"

"There already is a storm."

"Well then, this little one better not decide it's time to come out, half the city will be closed if it hits properly." She said laying a hand on her stomach. Grissom merely agreed with a simple "Mmmm." and turned his head to face look back out of the window.

They both lay there for a good 45 minutes, Grissom still stroking her hair, her head on his lap, watching the storm through the window.

Catherine stomped into the room suddenly, "I need a hot coffee and a shower." She declared, muttering angrily under her breath. Sara sighed and sat up, on the way whispering in Grissom's ear "Guess peace can only last for so long."

After she had actually sat up she began to speak to Catherine.

"The storm?" Catherine only nodded her head and growled before answering.

"The others should be in soon. Nick's just logging in some more evidence and should be here in a minute and Warrick is driving back now. None of us wanted to get stuck somewhere with weather like that. And the best part, the majority of all of our scenes were outside, so any evidence not gathered in the about 5 minutes we had after the rain hit has now been lost." She sat on the nearest chair with a thump, "After all the rest are back, I'm going to go grab a shower. They'll probably do the same thing."

A moment later Nick came into the room, heading (like Catherine) straight for the coffee machine and muttering under his breath about hot coffee's, showers and storms. Only to be followed another sort while later by Warrick also following the same path. Sara and Grissom both tried to keep their faces sympathetic as they both tried to fight back a laugh.

They both waited before speaking to them, after a short while the 3 wet CSI's were sat at the table, with varying degrees of disgust on their faces, and muttering varying levels of curses under their breath. Sara sat up properly as Grissom went to go get them both some juice until the other died down.

"Wet out there?" Grissom teased. Sara stared at him, surprised to see him teasing in work and looking so relaxed, the rest barely noticed how out of character this was and simply glared at him.

He struggled to keep his face straight as he faced the glares. Eventually he broke, his face broke into a grin and he stifled a chuckle and quickly turned around and busied himself making juice. Sara decided to talk to them instead, also trying not to grin.

"How much of the city is down so far then?" Warrick and Nick just groaned, still not ready for talking. Leaving Catherine to answer as all three tried to gulp down their coffees.

"About a third so far, but the storms only just started. The strip's still up, as are the hospitals and everything major. The seedy motels are down, the decent ones are hit-and-miss. All the ones that are out are on the other half. It's only just hitting this area."

Sara nodded. The lights in the break room suddenly flickered briefly before coming back on. Catherine grimaced.

"Make that it's hitting this area now."

"I'll go grab the lamps and a few candles." Grissom called from over by the fridge, "The lights will probably be down soon." He left one glass of juice on the counter and handed the other to Sara with a quick smile before going to go find the lamps they had for situations like this. They had once been stuck with only the torches from their kits, will technically bright enough they had all discovered the problems with having to hold the lights and with lights that could roll.

Catherine groaned as the lights went again, they flickered again but stayed on.

"Right" she declared, after gulping down the rest of her coffee, "after Grissom comes back, I'll make sure he has the lamps and then I'm off to get a shower while I can still see what I'm doing." Nick and Warrick murmured agreement, but managed little more than murmuring still feeling totally disheveled.

They waited a few moments and then Grissom arrived, carrying a half empty box of lamps and a few candle stubs along with a box of matches. He deposited them all down on the table before beginning to speak.

"Right, we have some candles and some matches in case the lamps run out. And we have half of the lamps. Greg grabbed the rest off me. All the techs are planning to hang about together, I think in Trace in order to annoy Hodges, but I've told them they're all welcome in here, so doubtless we'll get a Greg at some point, and we might get the rest, depends on what they decide."

Catherine clapped her hands together. "Right then, I'm off for a quick shower." Warrick stood up to follow as Nick finished off his coffee. As Warrick drew close with Grissom, Grissom lay a hand on Warricks arm and spoke to him before he could leave the room, Catherine turning around to see what was said.

"Warrick! Separate shower from Catherine!" He said in a voice which would not tolerate any arguments. Nick stuffed his fist in his mouth so he didn't laugh, Sara glanced at Grissom speculatively and Warrick turned his face away embarrassed and nodded slightly. Catherine however glared at Grissom.

"Catherine, I'm very happy for both you and Warrick, and what you get up to out of work is your business, but not in the lab." Catherine opened her mouth to reply, Grissom stepped in first though cutting her off. "And you're not getting off on any technicalities by saying technically they are not in the lab. I'm still your supervisor right now, and I say no playing around in work. If me and Sara have to stick to that so do you and Warrick."

Sara's eyes widened, they widened even more when he turned and winked at her. Catherine tried to hold back a smile while Nick grinned at Grissom and Warrick coughed, still embarrassed about what Grissom had implied with him and Catherine.

Grissom lowered his arm to let Warrick pass and both Catherine, Warrick and Nick all filed out of the room.

Sara approached Grissom and leant against him, moving closer as she felt him place his arm around her shoulders. She reached up and took hold of his hand. She looked at him. "So we have to behave in work do we?"

He grinned back, "There has to be some perks to being boss. I reckon we can get away with it if shift has technically ended."

Sara adopted a thoughtful expression, a smile still on her face and a glint in her eye. "Hmmmm, that could hold interesting ideas."

"Such as joint showers." Sara laughed lightly at his reply.

"Talking about that, why did you decide to caution Cath and Warrick, neither would have probably thought of it. Or was it something your mind couldn't help dwelling on?"

"When baby is out, why don't I show you some ideas I had about that."

Sara grinned and quickly raised her eyebrows at him before just as quickly lowering them. Grissom smiled and placed a light kiss on her lips. "You alright if I leave you here for a little bit? I'll be back soon, I just want to tell Archie to save everything in the A/V lab and turn it all off, and tell the rest of the techs to not start any new tests which involve a machine. That and I'll go see if Judi's ok and if she wants to join us and see if she knows how bad it is. You be alright?"

Sara nodded. "I'm a big girl, can look after myself, not afraid of the dark no more." Grissom chuckled at both what she was saying and how she was saying it. He kissed her lightly again before giving her shoulders a squeeze and heading out of the break room door.

He walked along the corridor, called in on Archie, then went around to the various places in the lab delivering his message before going to the front desk and speaking to Judi. When that was sorted he wandered back to the break room, saw that only Sara was in their still and went in, speaking to her as he entered before he had even settled in again.

"Seen all the different areas and all the techs know not to start anything. Judi's already said she's going to hang with the techs wherever they are, Greg had already asked her. She's been listening to the radio and bad news ..."

It was at this point that the light flickered and cut out again, the lamps Sara had already set up and switched on on the table keeping the room light, Grissom noticed some gone and assumed she had taken some into the showers. He smiled wryly as he saw that Sara was still fine despite the sudden loss of power.

"As I was about to say, bad news is the whole city is down, all the hospitals, fire departments, everything. So junior better not decide now is a good time to come out, 'cos we can't get you anywhere, 'cos roads are blocked up as well."

As he approached Sara he saw a distracted expression on her face, and a slightly worried look in her eyes at the news she had just heard.

Grissom sped up his approach anxiously.

"Honey what's wrong?"

"My water just broke."


	32. Painkillers?

_I promise the bit later isn't a Cath/Gil section, I just wanted to show Grissom and I couldn't use Sara. This is still a GSR fic all the way, with hints of Cath/Warr_

_btw if Yo!Bling is Cath/Warr (think it is - not sure) would someone mind telling me why on earth its that  
I get GSR and Snickers and Sandles, but not Yo!Bling, anybody know?_

_Anyway will get on with the story now_

_GSR Love - awww_

_also sorry for the C/W section later_

Grissom just gaped at her. He stood there doing nothing for so long that Sara began to become concerned, so much so to the point where she became more worried about Grissom than the thought of giving birth in the break room. 

"Gil?" He looked at her.

"Sara." He said, as though finally latching onto something. When he continued speaking, it was disjointed, like a 5-year old who's heard something thy can't quite understand, like a maths problem taking over everything and setting everything else back, including speaking. There was a large pause between each sentence.

"Baby. Coming. Baby. Now. Hospital." With that he took hold of Sara's arm and tried to walk her towards the door, he stared at her when she resisted.

"Gil, can you do me a big favour?"

He nodded eagerly, happy to be able to do something and to help.

"Ok, can you go find Judi, and ask her if all of the city is closed? If any hospitals are open and if the roads to them are clear?" She said it slowly, speaking slowly so that he had chance to absorb each section of the sentence.

He nodded eagerly and ran out of the room, skidding as he reached the corner. Sara breathed out, she had expected him to be a bit shocked but she hadn't expected him to be _this_ shocked. She just hoped he would come out of it before she needed him. She had walked to the table and was leaning against it when Grissom came running back in breathless.

"No hospitals, no roads, no doctors on call to get here. Judi said."

"Well done Gil. Can you do me another big favor? Can you go down to the morgue and see if Doc. Robbins has left yet? If he hasn't can you bring him up here please?"

He had gaped at her when she said morgue, understanding dawned in his eyes when she had said Doc. Of course she needed a doctor. He ran out of the room, again skidding at the corner.

Sara made her way back to the sofa, she knew that she had to keep walking, but she also knew that she couldn't do it by herself when the contractions started to hit. She needed Grissom, she hoped that he would turn back to normal soon. She also needed Catherine, she was the only other one on the team who had given birth and she needed her there to tell her she was doing it right and that she was doing ok. She also needed Doc. Robbins. She felt odd about having the Doc look between her legs, but she also knew that she needed someone with medical training who she could rely on to be professional, and there was no-one with any medical training here who she trusted more to deliver her baby.

She stood anxiously holding onto the sofa, Grissom had still not come back. She glanced back to the door just as she saw the two men approaching, David wandering in behind them. She watched Al gratefully, and as a result hadn't noticed the change in Grissom. She smiled, relieved, when they walked in.

"Hey Sara. All I got is something to do with the baby, this blubbering oaf couldn't tell me much more, he was too busy trying to fit two words into a sentence. Sara smiled gently at Grissom, when he smiled sheepishly back she knew that he was back to normal. She also noticed his cheek slightly pink.

"You slapped him Doc?" Al looked up at her confused, she gestured towards Grissom. Al shrugged.

"Best way to get him back to normal. It's normally the mothers job but I knew you couldn't slap him, not yet anyway."

"Not yet?"

"Sara." He looked gently at her and took her hand. "Unless a hospital opens you're going to have to go through this with no epidural or form of painkiller. By the end of this you'll be ready to strangle him. After all, he's the one who got you into this."

Sara grimaced and sank down onto the sofa. '_Shit! This is gonna hurt.'_

She looked up when she noticed Grissom approaching, he crouched in front of her and took both her hands in his and looked softly up at her.

"Sara it'll be fine. I'll be here, Al will be here, Catherine will be here. You're strong you can do this and we'll all be here for you." He reached out and stroked her cheek slight smile coming onto his face. "Besides, "he continued, dropping his hand so that it held hers again. "when else you have a valid excuse to should at Greg. And my face will be here for slapping any time you need it. I draw the line at strangling, but I can offer you my wrist for Chinese burns."

She laughed gently. She looked back into his eyes, communicating all the fear she still felt. He sat up slightly more and kissed her forehead and looked back into her eyes. Saying everything that needed to be said between them, transferring strength between them, Grissom showing that he would always be there for her. After a few minutes more had been said between them than could have verbally be said in hours. Eventually she smiled and looked up at Al.

"Alright Al. What did you need to know?"

* * *

3 hours later and Sara was still not ready, the rest of the team had arrived. Nick, Warrick and Greg all stood anxiously near her head, Catherine was on her left holding onto her hand, and Grissom was on her right, stroking her hair and holding her hand. David had decided to go wait with the lab techs. Doc Robbins was examining her.

He pulled off the glove he had been using when he had finished. "Sorry Sara. You're at about 4 cm. Nearly half way there." She groaned and flipped her head back.

"You mean I'm not even halfway yet. Well at least let me stay laid down this time."

"Sorry, seen as we have no painkiller we need to keep you moving about until at least 6 cm if we can. After that Gil will just have to rub your back for you."

Sara just glared at him as he pulled her skirt back down and also shifted slightly nervously. He understood and tried to comfort her as best he could.

"Sara, I know this has got to be awkward for you, especially seen as you know me and will see me in work later. But believe me you have nothing I haven't seen before, and when I was training for medicine I did a rotation in childbirth. I know what I'm doing. And I'm a doctor. It's ok."

She nodded slightly, but suddenly gripped both Grissoms and Catherines hands and groaned as a contraction hit her.

She moaned, "I thought they weren't meant to hurt that much until the nearer the end."

"Sorry, lack of painkillers."

Sara just slumped back onto the pillows, but didn't protest when Grissom began pulling her into a sitting position. He then pulled her up to standing and started to slowly walk around with her. Wincing everytime she had a contraction, and truly sorry that he couldn't have this pain for her. She only managed about 30 minutes of walking before it became too much for her. He sat her back down and rubbed and massaged her back for her.

He was dimly aware of the rest of the team talking quietly amongst themselves, but didn't bother listening to what they were saying, all of his attention was on Sara. He didn't even notice Catherine staring at them both, a faint sadness in her eyes. He didn't notice her see the difference between him and Eddie, and just other guys in general.

She saw how thoughtful he could be, how he truly wished that he could have the pain so that Sara didn't have to. How he would be there for her through the whole thing and wouldn't disappear when she needed him. How deep his love for her was.

She also knew that Sara wouldn't truly notice right now, she was in too much pain, and had never had a child with a man who didn't love her this much. Catherine smothered a slight twinge of jealousy, not for Grissom, but just for a love that deep. or if not someone who would love her, and be there for her.

It was at this point that she felt someone wrap their arms around her waist. She breathed in a smell which she immediately recognised as Warrick. She relaxed into him.

She felt him kiss her temple before he began speaking.

"You were looking very thoughtful just then. What's up?"

"Nothing, just thinking of how lucky they both are. He really does love her. You need someone like that around when you're having a kid."

"I'm guessing you weren't that lucky with Eddie."

"Pffff. Understatement of the century. I said one thing to him, I was in pain, and he ran off. I came out a few minutes later when the doctor told me I should walk. Sat outside snoring. It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, we'd only been there about an hour. During the actual birth, he was hitting on the nurse who was looking after me. Yeah! You could say I wasn't especially lucky."

"Jerk! I'd wouldn't have left you like that. What did you say anyway?"

"I think something like 'You got this thing in me. Get it out. Now!' So I didn't technically insult him. That reminds me I probably ought to warn Grissom that Sara might say a few things she doesn't mean, you know what he's like at reading into things."

She felt Warrick nod and squeeze her for a moment before releasing her so she could speak to Grissom.

She walked towards them but not too close, "Griss, can you come here a minute?" She called from where he stood. He glared at her, she shrugged in reply. He checked with Sara that she would be ok and then came to where Catherine was standing.

"This better be important Cath, you better not have called me away from Sara just because you wanted a conversation."

She forced herself to keep a straight face and not to grin.

"No, just a quick warning is all. You know how on films everythings all sweet and lovely and the mother tells the father how much she loves him? Well, real life isn't like that. This will hurt her like hell. It's like trying to push a bowling ball out between your legs, and that was when I had painkillers. She will shout at you, she will get ratty, she will insult you, she will blame you. And for a few minutes she will tell you she hates you, and she will mean it. But she still needs you, she won't mean it properly, at the time she will. But just don't read anything into them, and don't brood on them. It's just the pain and the hormones talking. She might not even remember what she said, she won't even remember who much it actually hurt. I know it was worse for me than I remember, it's in the female mind to forget the pain so that they are willing to have more kids."

Grissom nodded, his eyes still flicking back to Sara and his attention still on her.

"Griss. Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Yes, she'll say stuff to me she doesn't mean. I don't have to think too much about it." He said his eyes still on Sara. He then looked at Catherine, a desperate plea in his eyes, "Now Cath please. Can I go back to Sara now?" It was at this point that Sara decided to interrupt, proving what Catherine had said.

"Are you two done gossiping now? I'm so glad you are finding something to say about co-workers. Perhaps you could share with me _as soon as I've finished having this baby._"

Catherine smiled, "You sure you wanna go back to that right now?" Grissom glanced back at Sara, his expression softened the moment he saw her properly.

"Yes Catherine, I do."


	33. Almost there

Catherine just stared at Grissom, as he continued to smile softly in the direction of Sara. She again felt the pang of wanting a man like that.

She had a tear standing in the corner of one eye when Grissom turned back to face her. The tender expression still on his face.

"Cath, I was a fool before. I love her. Have since I met her. I don't think anything could make me stop loving her now. I never want to do anything to jeopardize this. I love her."

He smiled weakly at her before turning and heading towards Sara. "I just hope Sara realises how lucky she is." Catherine muttered under her breath as she watched the two of them.

Sara was still being slightly ratty, no-one could blame her under the circumstances, Catherine was surprised at how calm she still seemed. She just watched as Grissom walked towards her. Watched as he cupped her cheek and told her he loved her, as he kissed her gently, how he just watched her, how the pain flashed across his face as clearly as Sara's when she received another contraction.

She breathed out a sigh. She then smiled lightly and went to go talk to the rest of the team. Sara and Grissom didn't want to be interrupted right now.

* * *

Sara raised her head up and looked down, "Doc, please tell me its good news." She almost begged. Doc. Robbins smiled a sympathetic smile at her.

"7cm. Almost there, will probably be a few more hours."

Sara just flopped, her head fell back against the pillow. "I've been at this for _6 hours_. We still don't even have any power." She growled at the ceiling, aiming at no-one in particular.

Grissom came closer to her side and took one of her hands in both her hands.

"Sweetie, Judi's keeping an eye out of the window for any lights, as soon as any hospitals can take people in again then we'll go to one. I promise. I'm really proud of you honey. You're doing brilliantly."

Sara suddenly reached across with her spare hand and grabbed Grissom by the collar, pulling him closer to her, her hand closing about his shirt.

"Don't you dare patronise me Gil Grissom. You're the reason I'm like this." She glared at him.

Grissom gently unwound her hand from his shirt. Kissed her palm and held onto her hand. Sara's glare soon melted under his gaze and his gentle encouraging smile. She didn't smile back though. Instead she just groaned and threw her head back against the pillow in frustration.

Catherine resisted the urge to smile. She had been right, Sara was snapping at Gil. She was also glad she had warned Grissom about it, and thanked him silently for his support of Sara, she needed it.

Nick and Warrick shuffled closer to her along with Greg. They had all stepped back as one man when Doc. Robbins had said he needed to check her again to see how far along she was. Catherine had tried not to laugh out loud at their joint expression and reaction. Typical guys.

Catherine also stepped closer to Sara and took hold of her hand.

"You're doing really great Sara." She told her, her comment was mixed with a glare and a grateful smile. Catherine squeezed her hand and headed towards Doc. Robbins.

"Al, you sure there's nothing you can give her for the pain." She asked him quietly.

He shook his head sadly. "I would have already given it to her if there was anything Catherine. She's doing great so far though. If it gets too much for her about the only thing I can do is put her out, I _really _don't want to do that though. She's hanging on well so far. She's almost at the end of the first phase. You might want to talk to the guys though. I'm not sure if Sara will want them here during the actual thing."

"I would do, but there's nowhere else they can go, the techs have only got one lamp left still working, I told them they should only run one at once. And the rest of the ones here we need for you during the actual thing."

Al nodded. "At least see if you can find some fabric or something to make a partition, at the least to cover Sara a bit more, I can't use her skirt to cover her up during the actual thing."

Catherine nodded and went off in search of fabric.

Al's head suddenly flipped to Sara as did the rest of the guys as Sara let out a sudden yelp of pain. '_On second thoughts I might go double-check the morgue to see if there is anything I can give her.'_

On the way down he stopped to grab one lantern and to tell Catherine not to bother about the fabric as he could bring the right kind of material up from the morgue and told her what he was looking for.

A short while later he appeared back, his search having turned up nothing in the way of painkillers. Sara glanced hopefully at him when he entered, but felt ready to cry when he shook his head slightly.

* * *

Another few hours had passed. Nothing had altered, the guys had all come over to Sara and spoken to her for a short while in turn. Grissom had refused to leave her side and Catherine was offering all the support she could, mainly just by being only other person in the room to have given birth. Sara's pain was obviously getting worse, and also closer together.

She was almost screaming each time a contraction hit her and every time one did tears began rolling down her face. Grissom was only just holding the tears back, and not just because she had almost broken his hand from squeezing it so much.

Sara desperately looked towards Al, a plea in her eyes for it to be over. "Al, please tell me I'm nearly there."

"I can check for you if you want Sara."

She nodded her head fervently, biting her lip to keep herself from crying. Al moved to where the pile of gloves from everyoneskits were and grabbed a clean one, after putting it on he moved towards Sara and examined her.

"Good news Sara. I'd guess about 9 and a half cm. Give it about 5 minutes and you can probably start to push. Just time for me to get prepared."

Sara slumped her head back onto the pillow, and now the tears did fall. Grissom breathed out a sigh of relief. It was almost over for her. He just watched her and was vaguely aware of Al gathering things together like the fabric and draping over Sara's legs, and he didn't even notice Greg, Warrick and Nick all hurry over to the opposite end of the room, the furthest away they could get. He slightly noticed Catherine shuffling even closer to Sara and holding her hand tighter as she knew that the next stage was about to hurt more. All he saw was Sara, smiling with relief, beautiful even now.

Al settled himself back down and leant towards Sara, after checking for a moment he spoke to her.

"Sara you ready? I want you to breathe, and push whenever I say you need to. Ok? You ready?"

She nodded her head, fear flashing briefly in her eyes, tears still rolling slowly down her cheeks, the pain becoming too much even for tears.

Grissom gripped her hand tighter and looked to Al, waiting for the indication to push.


	34. Surprise

_Sorry for any mistakes I make in this, especially medical later. It was based on what my mum could remember from when this happened to me and she was a bit preoccupied at the time. So sorry. Let me know if it is majorly wrong. Thanks for all the reviews so far._

_Also, don't care if I over dramatise it, its a fic. I love them all too much not to explain everything that I can. _

--------------------------------------

Sara screamed aloud as another contraction hit her hard.

"Al you said I could start pushing." She virtually screamed at the Doc. He grimaced apologetically.

"I know, I was just checking the time between still. Next time you can push, you ready though? It's going to hurt a lot more."

"More? I didn't know it could get any worse. How can it hurt _more?" _She replied, starting still annoyed and collapsing into sobs by the end. "Please Al. _Please_ tell me there is something you can do. It hurts so much."

Al looked about ready to cry as well, and looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. "Not right now, not that I'm willing to do. I promise you Sara, if I think I need to do it I will."

"Doc, right now I don't care if you kill me. _Please._"

"No, Sara." Even through the pain she heard the stern note in his voice, and knew that he was only doing what he thought best for her. He was having to look at her as a patient and not as someone he knew well. She nodded weakly. Slumped her head back and breathed deeply, trying to prepare herself.

Grissom stretched a hand towards her forehead and towards a loose strand and opened his mouth to speak but stopped when Sara suddenly growled. "Don't."

He moved his hand back to holding hers, and shut his mouth, but looked at her waiting for her to speak again. She muttered at him, low and quiet.

"You dare mention how proud you are, how well I am doing, or how much you love me and I promise you as soon as I can stand I will strangle you with the umbilical cord from your own child." Grissom didn't move or say anything only accepted it but his face paled slightly. Sara continued to watch him and continued to mutter at him. "Don't even _think_ of telling me it's nearly over. When the shoulders are out its nearly over. And until you have pushed a baby elephant you cannot comment on this. If you dare say anything I'll..." Grissom didn't get to hear what she would do.

Sara suddenly sat up slightly and clutched at her abdomen, biting her lip to keep from screaming, the tears pouring in earnest. She instantly lay down flat again trying to breath as Doc. Robbins spoke to her.

"Push Sara, push _now_. Ok, relax. Well done Sara, I can see a head, we're almost there." She attempted to glare at him and failed. Instead she lay down again and waited for it to start again.

* * *

"There we go, there we go." Doc. Robbins continued saying as he finished pulling the baby away. "Sara, you've got a beautiful baby girl."

Sara began to weep again from relief. "Can I see her?" 

Doc. Robbins nodded. "Just give me a minute to finish up and wrap her up and then of course Sara."

Sara suddenly gasped in pain again. "I thought this pain would stop. Why isn't stopping?"

Doc. Robbins' face grew concerned, he pushed the first baby towards Catherine who immediately took hold of it and began rocking it gently to stop it crying as she continued to watch Sara nervously. A moment later she saw Doc. Robbins sit up again.

"Surprise Sara. You're having twins."

"What? I never knew I was having twins. Why didn't I know?"

"The second will have hidden behind the first in the scan. It happens every so often. Your ready to go again?"

Sara drew in a ragged breath and biting her lip nodded.

"Ok, I want you to push next time ok?"

She nodded again. A moment later she began to push. "Stop. Sara stop pushing. Now Sara!" 

Worried both her and Grissom looked towards Doc. Robbins. "Shit!" He whispered softly.

"Al?" Sara questioned gently. "What's wrong? What's up with my baby?"

"I think it's caught in it's umbilical cord. But I don't know. I'll try and see. Just do what I say."

Sara nodded fervently, now silent and her face even paler than before. He began explaining what he was going to do calmly to Sara.

"Ok, now what I'm going to do is-" Sara suddenly cut him off.

"Doc. I don't care what you do. Just sort out my baby." Catherine looked sharply towards her, she had been so absorbed in the first child (who had now stopped crying) and caring for Sara and pitying her for the pain she was going through that she had completely forgotten about any maternal instincts that Sara could be having. Al simply nodded, understanding what Sara was saying, his face registering understanding, his eyes showing shock. He had suddenly also remembered about Sara becoming a mother. He had forced himself to look at it like a normal birth and Sara as patient. Now he suddenly saw her as the strong woman who he had worked with for so long, a new mother. He knew that she no longer cared about the pain she was going through, she just wanted to get the baby out alright. His eyes took on a new determination.

He had never done this before himself but he had assisted on quite a few of them. He was not going to let anything happen to Sara or to her child. He owed it to her, and to Grissom. Grissom was just staring at Al, almost pleading, though Al knew not whether it was to get his child out ok or to help Sara. 

Al gritted his teeth and turned all his attention to the child being born. Not letting anything distract him. Grissom looked back to Sara and stared at her.

Her eyes were closed both from pain and concern. Her hair lay either around her on the pillow or plastered to her face. She was biting her lip. One single slow tear was trickling from the corner of her eye down her cheek. Grissom knew he would remember this single image for the rest of his life. The beautiful woman he loved, so vulnerable but having no less strength because of it. 

He encouraged her in what little ways he could and continued to watch her face. Listened to Al's instruction about when to push and when not to push. Sara suddenly let out a breath, almost a sigh of relief. Grissom looked quickly down and realised that his second child had just been born. He smiled weakly at Sara who smiled weakly back, partly from relief that it was now over. Until something intruded a few seconds later. 

Al was still moving around the new child, Catherine was hovering nervously over his shoulder. But their was no crying. No noise. Only silence coming from the direction of the baby. Grissom bit his lip to stop himself screaming questions at Al, he knew that he needed to work. Sara was struggling to get up but not managing. She opened her mouth a little, but instead of words a sob escaped her.

"Gil? Why is my baby silent? Why isn't my baby crying or moving?" She whispered her voice barely audible. Grissom just looked at her. He could find no words to explain, as he didn't know what to explain. He refused to believe that they had lost a child, but knew that Al would have said if everything was fine.

Tears were also brimming in his own eyes and only the need to stay strong to comfort Sara was keeping them from spilling over. Instead he cradled Sara in his arms, saying nothing. Still not knowing what to say.

Sara kept trying to speak, to ask Al what was happening but couldn't find her voice. Instead she wordlessly cried into Gil's shoulder apart from to take quick glances at Al and her baby. 

The rest of the team had stepped forward slowly, drawing nearer, also worried but remaining silent.

Catherine was hovering nervously over Al's shoulder. Still rocking the first child but hardly noticing as she watched concernedly over the second one. She had seen what had happened, and could see what was happening now. As a mother she knew that she was slightly closer to understanding what Sara was thinking than anyone else except possibly Grissom. But she not even begin to imagine what Sara would feel like if the baby died. Hospitals were still not running and even if they were they could not get them there in time. She only hoped Al could solve this. 

Al himself was muttering under his breath while working on the infant. "No. You're not going to go, I owe it Sara. I owe it to Gil. I owe it to you and your sister. You're not going to go. You're not going to die." But even though he was continually muttering and swearing that he could sort it the coroner and the doctor in him knew that time was running out. Unless he could sort the infant in about a minute then he would have no chance. The doctor in him noted how little amount of time was left and how little equipment he had around. The coroner in him realised how many babies with similar situations he had seen which had come to him over some controversy and how they had been lost the moment the cord had twisted. The friend in him swore that he would try all he could to save the child. He was not going to let Sara and Gil's second daughter die.


	35. Over

Al continued to work on the infant even though everything was telling him he had lost him at least 20 seconds ago. he knew another 10 seconds meant even the faintest hope was gone, he continued to work for another 10 seconds.

Suddenly the room was filled with sound. A sound that hit everybody like a wave.

A baby crying.

Two babies crying.

Sara pulled her tear-stained face away from Grissom's shoulder. Grissom dragged his head upward. Catherine looked towards the baby in her arms and then to the baby by Doc. Robbins. Doc. Robbins looked towards the second child. The team all looked from Sara to Grissom to Catherine to the baby in Catherine's arms to Doc. Robbins to the second infant. 

Doc. Robbins stared at the second child as Catherine began calming the first one. After a few seconds he seemed to go on auto-pilot, he checked over the second child before cleaning her and wrapping her up.

Sara wiped her face slightly and tried to sit up. Grissom helped her sit up and helped support her. She leant onto his shoulder. "You did it!" He whispered to her.

"_We_ did it!" She corrected. Grissom kissed the top of her head. 

"You two want to see your two daughters?" Doc. Robbins asked as he finished wrapping the second one. Sara nodded and leant closer to Grissom. Grissom smiled at Al and then gestured to Catherine. Both of them came towards him at the same time. Their faces watching the faces of the children they were holding. Grissom took one from Catherine and looked towards Sara to hand their daughter to her.

Sara was fast asleep. She lay on his shoulder, a content expression on her face and a dreamy smile. Grissom smiled gently and moved slightly. Catherine expected him to lay her back down but instead he only moved so that he was supported and then took Sara into his arms. He held her close for a moment before allowing one arm to drape loosely around her shoulder as he looked towards Catherine. He moved his other hand from around Sara but still left her leaning on him.

"Catherine. Can I hold my daughter please?" A soft expression had come over Catherine's face. He assumed she was remembering Lindsey when she had been that age.

"She looks just like her mum." Catherine told him as she approached closer and handed the little girl over to her father. Grissom looked at her.

He gently moved one hand to touch the soft, brown hair that spiked on her head. He smiled as she yawned slightly. Her eyes opened for a second and he saw they were the same brown as her mothers. Grissom moved so that he was holding his first daughter in one arm and then looked towards Al.

He nodded slightly and moved towards Grissom handing him his second child. "She's got her daddy's eyes." Grissom smiled and took the child he had come so close to losing.

"And her daddy's hair." He commented, noting the brown hair which was already curly at the ends. "Well, the curls, and the colour it was before grey set in." He added with a smile.

Doc. Robbins moved to Catherine and whispered something, she nodded and moved with him to the other end of the room where the rest of the team stood, giving Grissom some time alone with the (still asleep) Sara and his daughters.

Doc. Robbins soon began talking to Nick and Warrick came over to Catherine. While everyone was happy, excited and relieved, all were controlling apart from Greg who was bouncing around almost hitting his head on the ceiling more than once.

Grissom was simply staring at his children and occasionally still speaking quietly to them, as well as slowly leaning his head closer and closer to Sara until it was resting on top of hers. Not going to sleep, just wanting to be near Sara. Nick shouted Warrick over as he was talking and so he went.

Catherine turned around and watched Grissom. She sighed wistfully, she wished that someone had being like that when she had had Lindsey. Despite it all they both loved each other more than life itself just like before. For once children and birth had strengthened the relationship more than a years worth of talking could, unlike hers where it had only shown how little Eddie had cared. He had seen _his_ daughter and brought her a teddy before disappearing off to the recording studio.

She felt a warm pair of arms wrap around her waist and leaned back into Warrick. "I would've stayed there for the whole time you know?"

"Even when I was giving birth to Lindsey?"

"Always. You know I mean it don't you?"

"Yes, I do." 

Catherine suddenly laughed, confusing Warrick, in between laughs she managed to explain. "Sorry ... I just sounded ... exactly like ... Grissom ... for a ... moment ... then." 

Warrick just looked confused and held her closer. He merely attributed the laughter to her getting rid of the nerves she had been feeling for Sara's second child and the relief that everything was fine. 

He stayed there holding her long after she had stopped speaking. Both watching Grissom, Sara and their children. Greg, Nick and Doc. Robbins all spoke quietly together in the background.

After about 10 minutes like this Sara began to stir. 

* * *

Grissom felt her moving, he did not move to wake her fully though, she needed to sleep. Instead he lightly kissed the top of her head and spoke to her. "I love you darling. You did really well. I'm _so_ proud. And one day, when you're ready, and if you say yes, I'll make us a proper family. I want to make this official. I want to marry you, raise our children together, grow old with you, and love you for all eternity. I love you darling." He murmured to her. He felt safe saying it as she was asleep, he knew she wasn't ready for marriage yet, not after her parents.

He could wait till she was ready. He would wait forever and a day for her. What he didn't know was that even as she slept a smile blossomed onto her face as he spoke.

* * *

_You should know by now that I could never permanently hurt one of these two or their children. I love them both too much and love them together too much to separate them with anything major._

_Also sorry it's a bit short, I wanted to end on a happy note and before Sara woke up._

_That and I probably can't update for a few days now will try my best, but might take a week or 2 minimum, and I really wanted to finish this chapter not on a major cliff-hanger and just ... happy._

_Will update as soon as I can_

P x


	36. Baby 1 and Baby 2

_Yeah, I managed to get it up a _lot_ quicker than I expected. Will try to post one every other day for about the next 3/4 chapters as soon as I get an answer from someone. They know who they are._

* * *

Sara slept for about another half hour. By this stage the exhaustion that still remained could be fought, nothing was going to keep her from seeing her children any longer. Grissom felt her moving again, he looked down at her to find her face upturned and watching him. He leaned down and kissed her. "Would you like to see your daughters?"

She didn't trust her mouth to form proper words and so only nodded. Grissom smiled at her reaction even more than he had been smiling before. He handed Sara her first-born child. "She's looks like her mother."

Sara looked down awe-struck to find a pair of large brown eyes staring up at her, almost identical to her own. She gingerly touched the baby's hair in a gesture surprisingly similar to that of Grissom, even though she had not seen him do it. Sara just stared down at the child and held her close. "I can't believe you came out of me." She muttered softly. Suddenly a great pain came over her face. Grissom saw it and questioned her, even though she still looked at the child in her arms.

"Sara? Honey, what's wrong?"

"Just hormones. And dreams."

"Sweetie, I understand the hormones. The dreams your going to have to explain."

"While I was asleep I had a dream." Grissom nodded and stayed silent as he waited for her to continue. "It was really realistic. I thought that I'd had another baby but that there had been a problem during the birth. We all thought it was dead and Al kept trying to sort it and eventually he managed to bring it back. It's just upsetting thinking that you've had two kids, and one has been saved just, to wake up and find out that you only had one. It's almost like losing a child, even if they never existed."

"Sweetie, you did have another baby. It did survive. That wasn't a dream, it was what happened." Sara turned her face up to long at him.

"You mean, it was true? We have another baby? Can I see her?"

Grissom nodded and turned slightly so that Sara could see the baby he was holding. She immediately reached out a hand to touch its hair.

"She has her daddy's hair." She said softly. Grissom knew her hormones were still off though when she immediately turned to annoyed in the space of a blink.

"Why did you try to keep her from me? Why didn't you tell me straight away? You want to take her away from me. Give me back my daughter!"

Grissom held one hand up, and interrupted her. "Sara, I never meant to keep her from you. And I would never take her away from you because I'm not going away. I just didn't want to let go of her yet. That way you could also greet your first daughter while she was awake. As your second daughter was still asleep."

Sara nodded, now slightly calmer. She went back to staring at the girl in her arms. After a few minutes she spoke again. "Gil? Can I hold my other daughter now?"

Grissom looked at her and nodded, he took the girl from her hands and handed her the one in his. Sara gazed down at the sleeping face.

After a short while Sara spoke again. "Is the power still out? We need to go buy another cot."

"As far as I know it is. But I haven't exactly been checking on it. We can see and get Catherine to pick up another cot if you want if she'll pick one out."

Sara nodded, "Ok. I'd like to see her. And the rest of the team. Were they all here or did they all run away?"

"Catherine and I were both at your side." Sara nodded, indicating she had already known this. "Nick, Greg, and Warrick all went and huddled in the corner together, I think. David joined the lab techs when he realised that it was someone he knew and I think he was scared that Al might ask him to help."

"Where is Al? And Catherine?"

"They're over there." He turned around and nodded to them both, they both came closer. Sara spoke to them both when they came in front of her.

"Guys, both of you. Thank You. Cath, thanks, I needed someone there who had already been through it. Thank You." She gave her baby to Grissom and reached out and took Catherine's hand and squeezed it. Catherine nodded.

"You did well. I had pain meds when I did it." Sara smiled at her before turning to Doc. Robbins.

"Al, you saved my baby. Thank you. I know it must have been awkward for you. Especially when you were saving my baby, but you did it anyway. I couldn't have done it without you Al, I -" He cut her off by taking hold of her spare hand.

"I know Sara. Your welcome. And thank you as well." Sara looked at him, grateful for him understanding, but confused why he was saying thank you to her, he answered her unvoiced question. "You didn't ask me stupid questions. You let me work. And you trusted me. Sara it was that understanding and silence that helped me save your baby. It was you, not me."

Sara gasped slightly. Shocked at his words, he was thanking her. "Doc. I want to ask you. What actually went wrong?"

"She moved around and managed to wrap her umbilical cord around her neck, so as she tried to get out it tightened."

"But the first one came out alright. And what did you actually have to do? If you don't mind explaining. I want to know."

"The first was one was ok because they had separate umbilical cords because they weren't identical twins. And I had to unwrap it by hand as you pushed her out, but it had to be off her neck before her head fully came out. It's hard to explain."

"You mean you had to sort it by hand? As in, inside." She stopped, subconsciously squeezing her legs together slightly. "Well then definitely thank you. That had to be ... awkward." Al laughed lightly.

He changed the topic. "You want to try feeding yet? Baby 1's starting to look hungry."

"In a minute, I want to say hi to the guys first." She turned to Grissom. "We still need to name them."

He smiled widely at her. "Really, I quite like baby 1 and baby 2." She laughed at him and prodded him gently in the arm, soft enough not to disturb the baby laying in it.

* * *

When they heard that they could and after Catherine motioned for them they all approached Sara, Grissomand the babies eagerly. All offering congratulations and comments. Greg making some less appreciated comments about Sara's screaming until Catherine managed to make him quiet.

"Tell you what Greg. Why don't we shove a couple of bowling balls inside you, and see what kind of sounds you make as you push them out without any pain meds. _Then_ you are allowed to comment on Sara."

Greg quickly subsided into relative silence after that. Warrick and Nick only laughed at him before turning their attention back to the infants and their happy parents. Eventually Al interrupted. "Sara, you ready to feed baby 1 yet. She's looking more and more like shes going to get upset very soon." Sara laughed lightly as the 3 guys who had recently come near her stepped back as one man away from her. She took pity on them.

"Guys, I don't mind if you don't want to stay for this bit. Equally your just as welcome to stay if you want. Or come back during when we've both settled down. It's up to you lot. I'm happy with whatever you choose to do."

Warrick and Nick nodded and smiled gratefully at Sara. She looked toward Greg wondering what he would decide. She could see his ming working weighing everything up. She tried hard not to laugh at him. Warrick and Nick had been searching for a polite way to leave while she started she could tell, Greg was finding it a hard decision. Eventually he seemed to come to a decision, Sara mentally braced herself when he opened his mouth to speak, she had seen the twinkle in his eye, which generally meant he was doing something not everyone would like.

"I think I'll stay if that's alright with you Sara." Sara opened her mouth to reply but Warrick got there first.

"Are you sure Greggo? It's not as pretty as you might think."

"Yeah man, if you're just staying to see stuff then your better going to a club." Nick added in. Sara fought desperately against the laughter which threatened to overwhelm her and forced herself to keep a straight face. Grissom was too busy watching Sara and watching over his children to listen too much to what Greg was saying.

Greg said nothing but looked down slightly embarrassed for a moment. As he looked up he seemed to have found something to say. "No, I'm a scientist. I'm interested in how things actually work. You don't get a real life impression from a classroom. And I'll have you know I've been thinking about settling down. This will help prepare me for what is ahead." He managed to get through it all with a straight face. Warrick and Nick collapsed into laughter, Grissom seemed to have started listening to what Greg was saying part way through.

"Greg, have you ever had any of your bones ground together in your hand?"

Greg looked confused. "No."

"Well then, from the mans point of view your not even prepared for the birth. Don't bother thinking about after the birth yet."

Sara also added into the conversation now. "Also Greg, if you really do want to settle down, which I kind of doubt judging from recent tales, then just a tip for you. Don't speak about the woman in question like shes an experiment. Unless she's into that kind of role play, it really won't help you."

Greg's expression looked hurt. "What do you mean unlikely due to recent tales?"

"Paint-on latex." Sara told him.

"Still saying 'hot girl at 1 o'clock." Catherine added.

"Dumping Angela because she let her nose ring hole heal up." Nick commented.

Warrick joined in, "Getting excited about glow-in-the-dark condoms."

Grissom was simply trying not to laugh and trying to control the smile on his face. Catherine opened her mouth to add something to the list. As did Warrick and Nick and Sara's expression was still dangerous. Greg headed them off before they got too far down that road.

"Ok, ok." He told them, waving his hands at them. "I see your point. You win." Warrick chuckled, Nick took him by the arm.

"Come on Greggo. We'll come back when they've started and it's settled down. " Nick almost dragged Greg away. Catherine and Doc Robbins stayed, and no-one could have moved Grissom.

* * *

When baby 1 was feeding happily, Catherine and Al, slowly moved away and went to join the rest of the team. Nick moved towards them to check everything was still fine. "Just give them a little time alone." She whispered to them all.

The rest of the team nodded. "Besides," she added, "power's back on, why don't we go check that nothings been lost. Those two will want some time alone. Also, we need to go find some cameras." She finished with a smile. They all quietly walked to the door to the break room. "Should we tell them the powers back on?" Nick asked quietly. Catherine shook her head, "it wouldn't even register properly with them anyway right now. Greg." She said quickly, her voice still carrying authority despite the lack of volume. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. But don't turn the lights on. It will shock them, and besides, the softer light will be easier for the babies." Greg nodded and moved his hand away from the light switch where it had been hovering.

They all quietly walked out of the room, leaving Sara and Grissom both perfectly content and happy, watching their daughter feed.


	37. Names

Grissom looked between the sleeping infant in his arms and the feeding infant in Sara's. The wonder of it all came over him as he wrapped an arm around Sara's shoulders. She looked up at him and smiled briefly before turning to look at the baby in her arms again.

"We did it." She whispered. Grissom could say nothing, what she said put into words what he was felling. He kissed the top of her head and held her tighter. They stayed silent for another few moments. Both lost again in the wonder of it all.

After a short while Sara looked back up at Grissom, her eyes and face alight, a soft smile on her face.

"We still need to name them." She murmured.

Grissom grinned at her. "I told you. I like baby 1 and baby 2. That way when breakfast is ready I can just shout baby and all 3 of you will come running."

"All 3 of us?"

"Baby 1, baby 2 & you, baby."

Sara bumped him gently, "I really want to dislike what you said. I'm sure you're teasing me with it. I just don't know where." She told him, a smile still playing across her face.

"Would you want it any other way?" He asked her, a wide grin stretched across his face. Sara put her head on one side as she considered.

"Something for the pain would have been good." She smiled. Grissom leant his head down until it rested on hers. His cheek resting against the top of her head as they both looked down to watch the baby she was nursing finish. She burped her without really thinking, it all seemed to be coming naturally to her, that coupled with stories and tips from Catherine, and having to look after some of the children in the foster home when she was little, meant she already knew what to do. She still seemed to take to it naturally, surprising even herself at how maternal she had become.

Grissom stayed resting his head against her. "I love you."

"I love you too." She muttered back. They simply sat for a while, watching their children and relishing in the closeness of each other.

"How you feeling now anyway?" Grissom asked after a while.

"Small, and a bit sore. But I'll be fine. I just need to get use to not carrying 2 babies around inside of me. I'll need to lose some weight now anyway." Grissom stayed silent, and even though she wasn't looking at him she could hear his unvoiced question. "I still look about 4 months pregnant, and while that's not much it's enough to mean some pants won't fit me." She felt Grissom nod.

"What about Ella? As a name for one of them, what do you think to Ella?"

"It's perfect. I thought you were still supporting baby 1 and baby 2 though. I think we need to come up with a second name still.But Ella sounds perfect for one of them."

They battered other names about for a while, agreeing on some, disagreeing on others. The names became more and more unusual as time went on, as both strove to outdo the other in thinking of the most unusual names. They soon ended up both collapsing into laughter, Sara giggling and Grissom chuckling.

"Ok, so we at least have a short list now don't we. We have it down to 4 names we like that we might use."

"Yes. We could do it by meaning or significance or something, because she could suit any of these names. Ok, so to start with: Portia?"

"Used in Shakespeare, in Merchant of Venice and in Julius Ceaser. Comes from Latin."

"What latin?" Sara asked suspiciously.

"Ermmm, either pig or offering, depends on who you ask. Mainly used from Shakespeare though now."

"Ok, next one, Juliet?"

"Another Shakespeare name, Romeo and Juliet and Measure for Measure. Means downy. Good song called Juliet as well."

"Louise?"

"Comes from an old German word meaning Famous Warrior. I like the name Louise."

"Harmony?"

"Comes from the Latin. Means harmony as in musical or joining. I like Harmony. It works."

"Mmm, Harmony?" She looked up at Grissom, "I think we've found our second name."

He looked back at her. "I think you're right." He said softly. He lent down and kissed her gently. "So, baby 1 is called Ella, and baby 2 is called Harmony."

Sara nodded and turned to look at the child in her arms. "We probably ought to take advantage of the time their asleep to do what _we_ want."

Grissom nodded, "What do you want to do then?" She turned to look at him. "I want to ask you a question."

"Well then ask away my dear."

Sara opened her mouth to speak, "You kn-" was as far as she got before she heard Catherine creeping quietly back into the room. She hadn't even realised they had gone, and only noticed Catherine because she saw her, otherwise she had been in her own world with Grissom and their children."

"Hey Cath." She called out to her.

"Heya Sara. Can we come in and take photos yet?" Sara nodded. "I'll ask you later." She muttered in Grissom's ear, sending shivers down his spine as he felt her breath on his skin. Sara kissed him quickly again before standing up and moving to a sofa which was more comfortable than where they were. She patted the seat next to her and Grissom came to sit next to her.

* * *

The next 45 minutes passed in a second blur of congratulations as the techs, Judi and David also came in. And a blur of flashes from everyone taking photos. Fortunately neither Ella nor Harmony woke up despite the noise and light. They found out that the power had come back on, and soon both were exhausted. Catherine spotted this and quickly shooed everyone out of the room.

"By the way, I picked up another cot for you, the same as the first one, I remembered what you told me about it and the person who sold it to you remembered you anyway. He said he'd never seen a couple who seemed so perfect for each other. He only met you for 10 minutes and he knew. Why on earth did it take you two years to work it out? Anyway, are you ok to drive or do you want me to give you a lift? Actually, I'll need to drive anyway, both of you two have a child to hold." She then dragged Grissom and Sara, each carrying a baby out of the break room and into the car, neither managing to fit in a word as Catherine continued talking.

Finally she stopped talking as she pulled up outside Grissom's house, but she still managed to talk as she walked them to the door and handed them a key back. "By the way, I took the key out of your bag Sara when I dropped off the cot, here you go. Also I fixed it so that you are both off for at least a week, Sara you can have up to six months, Gil we can get you 3 months at a push but first you need to come back for a week after your week off. Bye guys, sleep well, while you can. I'll bob in and see you sometime. See you later. Bye."

By this time she had reached her car and pulled away. Leaving neither of them time to say anything. Grissom simply took the key from Sara which Catherine had handed her and unlocked the door.

They headed in and put the babies in their cots. Both hovering in the room, not wanting to leave them alone. But there was simply not enough room in either room for them to stay in the same room as the children where they could find somewhere for them to sleep.

"Sara?" He asked softly. "We need to take Catherine's advice and sleep while we can. We'll be up with these two soon enough, and neither of us are going to be much good if we're exhausted from staying in here to wtch them.

Sara nodded. But neither of them moved. Eventully Grissom led Sara out of the room. "Come on, let's get to bed." Sara again only nodded, and both were silent as they changed and climbed into bed.

They both lay on there side watching the other. "Gil? I've just realised. I never finished asking you that question."

"No, you didn't. So what was it you wanted to ask me sweetie?"

"You know how you said that while I was asleep it wasn't a dream? Well, I was wondering. While I was asleep did you speak to me?" Grissom didn't want to scare her away and so stayed silent and waited for her to continue. "I'm sure you spoke to me. You told me that you loved me and that you were proud of me. Did you say that?"

Grissom spoke softly, unsure of her reaction if she remembered it all. "Yes. I did. While you were asleep."

"Did you mean it? _All_ of it?"

"Yes." Grissom answered still unsure of where she was going. He sought her eyes in the darkness, found them and watched them, noticing that her eyes were also fixed on his.

"You know I'm not ready yet. I will be one day. But not yet. I'm sorry." He spotted a tear almost fall from her eye. He reached out to her took hold of her hand and placed their joined hands together between them as he move closer. He kissed her gently. He took her hand with his other hand and with his first hand wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I know sweetie. I'll wait. I'll wait until your ready, and I'll love you even if you never reach that stage. I don't blame you. I love you, I'll wait forever and more for you. I've never loved anyone as much, and I never will." The tear now fll down her cheek as he spoke.

Her expression became sorrowful and mildly thoughtful. She kept her eyes connected with his.

"Gil. I think I'm ready."

_

* * *

_

For the names thanks to Jessica (review of chapter 27) for one of the names (Harmony.)

_As for the other names Portia is for me, Juliet I just like the name, Louise is in honour of Lou (Loubric) for her constant support and encouragement through all my work._

_And the name Ella is also dedicated to her. Thanks Lou for all your help, support and friendship has really helped me through any periods of block I have had. Couldn't have got this far without you and your CD. Thank You. _


	38. The Problem with CSI's

"Are you sure?"

She nodded slowly. "Is the offer still open?"

He looked into her face. "Sara, darling, the offer will always be open. I don't want to make you rush into something you're not 100 ready for."

She looked back into his face. "Gil, I'm ready." She said lightly touching his cheek with her hand.

Grissom looked into her face even more intently, after a moment he seemed to reach a decision. He looked deeply into her eyes.

He climbed smoothly out of bed, reached into his bedside drawer and pulled out a red velvet. ring box. He knelt on one knee on the floor next to the bed, waited for Sara to roll closer to him. He bent down onto one knee and held the closed ring box out and began speaking, his voice carrying all the love he felt for her.

"Sara, my love, my darling, my only one. I love you more than should be physically possible. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want to grow old with you. Raise our children together. Love you forever, and prove to the world that I love you. I want to promise in front of everyone to love you, cherish you, honour you. I want to spend every day of my life trying to make you the happiest woman in the world. I love you Sara. Will you marry me?"

She nodded fervently, unable to speak, tears began trickling down her face. Her eyes widened as Gil flipped open the ring box. She stared at him, a smile on her face until she found her voice.

"Yes Gil, I will. I'll marry you." Gil's face erupted into a smile. She moved to sit at the edge of the bed. Grissom took the ring out of the box, placed the box on the floor next to him and slipped the ring onto her finger.

Sara jumped off the bed and pulled him to her in a tight hug as she pulled him up to standing. She kissed him gently. Her kiss and embrace showing everything she wanted to tell him but couldn't find the words for. As she pulled back she seemed to find words, even if they came nowhere near to what she wanted to say. "I love you too Gil. And ... thank you." She finished softly.

He pulled her back into his embrace and smiled again as she leant her head onto his shoulder, holding him close. One of his hands idly stroked her hair while the other held her close. He kissed the top of her head before laying his cheek there. "I wish I could stay here like this forever. He muttered quietly under his breath, Sara didn't hear what he said, but she didn't need to, she had just said the exact same thing to herself.

Sara didn't know how they got out of the hug that neither had wanted to end, she didn't know if she had moved, or if he had pulled back slightly, all she knew right now was that looking in his eyes and seeing the love there she wanted him. She watched his eyes become thoughtful and then attracted, the love never leaving them. She leant in and kissed him slowly and passionately, strengthening the kiss at a pace that was almost painfully slow for Grissom.

She slowly backed him up to the bed and then laid him on it. As the kiss intensified even more Sara managed to get some form of thought together and pulled back a little bit. She looked down at him for a moment before speaking.

"Protection?"

"Shit" Grissom cursed under his breath before replying to her.

"Don't have any in. There's rarely need for it, and we haven't needed it recently."

She looked down sternly. "Gil. The need for it is apparent if you walk into the other room."

"Yeah, but aren't you glad we were in too much of a rush that night?" She laid down next to him and rested her head on his chest, all ideas now abandoned.

"Wouldn't have traded it for the world." She breathed. His hand stroked her hair as he replied.

"I'll go to the pharmacy later. I'll make it up to you then."

She leaned up until she rested on her elbows and was looking directly at him. "Gil you will be making it up to me for much longer than till tomorrow. It might even take months to make up for this."

"I guess I better stock up well then when I go down tomorrow." She laughed and kissed him lightly before laying down again.

"We needed to sleep anyway." She muttered quietly as she began to drift off. He kissed the top of her head and was soon asleep as well.

"Oh my god!" Catherine squealed as Sara opened the door to her.

"Hi Catherine. What's up? Why are you screaming now? We haven't even told you their names yet."

"I'm not looking at the baby you're carrying you doofus. I'm looking at the hand which is holding her." Sara glanced the other way as she realised that she was carrying Ella on her hip and supporting her with her left arm. The hand which had the engagement ring on. Grissom entered and saw that Catherine had arrived.

"Hey Cath." He called from inside the house. "Do you want a drink?" At this point he noticed Catherine astounded smile and triumphant grin and Sara looking the other way. He also saw Catherine's eyes continually darting between him, Sara and Sara's hand.

He looked at Sara. "There are some problems with your friends been in the best CSI team in the country aren't there? You hardly ever get to break good news before at least one of them has found out first." He commented to her. He then looked back at Catherine who was now looking at him curiously for seeming so open, so confident, so relaxed. She had no doubt it was Sara's doing. "Come on in the Cath. We'll tell you what you want to know then."

He looked back at Sara and Catherine saw the love fill his eyes as he looked at her. She was again taken aback by how open he was been. "Sara honey, did you want tea, coffee or juice this morning?"

* * *

_Sorry it's a bit short and a bit disjointed. Was writing on paper and generally shorter on there because my brain works faster than my hand and so I have to slow down and forget what I was trying to say._

_Enjoy anyway_


	39. Open

Catherine settled back into the couch. An annoyingly smug smile on her face and a curious look in her eyes. Both Sara and Grissom noticed this, and how it was directed at both of them. Neither said anything, the longer they could stay away from Catherine interrogating them on something neither of them would probably like the better for them all.

Sara was also quite content to talk to anyone if it was about their children or their engagement, they hadn't told anyone else yet and so she hadn't got to talk about it yet. And Grissom was quite happy to sit there and listen to her, her voice alive with happiness. Catherine made sure that she got the major things answered first.

"Right so, you said you had names. I want to know. But first you're wearing a ring which looks rather like an engagement ring on your fourth finger. Spill." Sara tried to calm her down.

"Catherine, we'll be happy to tell you anything you want to know," she glared slightly at the blonde woman as her green/grey eyes grew mischievous before she continued speaking to her. "Harmony is still asleep in the other room and Ella is just settling down again."

Catherine stared at them both. "You have names! So this one is Ella yes? So Ella was the first-born?" Sara nodded at her as Grissom was still busy in the kitchen fixing drinks for them all. "You've gone and thrown me off balance. I don't know whether I want to know about and fuss babies first, ask about the engagement, or ask about you two?" Sara looked at her in mild confusion at the last point. Catherine just shook her head and Sara knew that she wouldn't get any more information out of her and had the distinct impression that she wouldn't want to anyway.

"I think first things first. Engagement." Sara smiled as she heard Grissom suppress a chuckle from the kitchen. She quickly turned her head to hide the smile as Catherine hadn't heard Grissom.She covered it by looking down at her ring. Catherine noticed her gaze and commented quietly, almost as though she was in awe about it. "It is a beautiful ring though I must admit."

"It was my mother's" Grissom said as he entered the room, carrying drinks for them all. "She said that my father had given it to her when she was ready and when he knew that he would never love anyone else as much and she wanted me to do the same thing. The moment I realised I loved her I knew I would never love anyone else as much, so I waited until she was ready, and then gave it to her." He finished with his eyes connected with Sara's as though he was talking straight to her and there were no other people in the world.

Catherine coughed feeling awkward, feeling as though she was intruding on something private even though Grissom was sat on a chair and Sara was sat on the couch with her. She almost sighed with relief when their gaze broke and Grissom looked at her. "Anyway, I'm going to get dressed. I can't wander around in what I sleep in all day." He said gesturing at the pair of loose shorts and plain t-shirt he was wearing. He stood up, picked up his drink off the table, kissed Sara and wandered off in the direction of the bedroom.

Catherine was looked at Sara speculatively as Sara turned back to face her, a small smile on her face. Sara sent a challenging glance at her, daring her to say what she was thinking, Catherine merely shrugged and then changed the topic back to the engagement.

"So ... tell me."

A twinkle came into Sara's eye, she knew Catherine was determined to tell her and Grissom something, probably which they wouldn't want to hear and which may annoy them both, she decided to get some hits in first, '_Pre-emptive strike'_ She told herself mentally before speaking aloud to Catherine.

"I got engaged to Grissom."

"I know that. I meant tell me more."

"Grissom proposed and I accepted." Sara fought down a laugh as she saw Catherine grit her teeth at the lack of answers she was getting.

"Details. Give me details what did he say, what did he do, what did you say, what did you do. You know ... details."

The happiness Sara felt at being able to talk about it with someone, especially someone who partly understood Grissom soon overcame the desire to annoy Catherine and soon she found herself telling the whole story to her friend. How he had proposed, how he had been willing to wait, what he had said, what he had done and what her reaction had been to it all. Catherine listened without comment or interruption so that Sara could tell the whole thing. Remarkably Ella sat quiet on her knee through the whole thing, while Grissom was calming Harmony in the other room.

"And that was it, we then went to sleep."

Catherine looked sceptical. "Come on Sara, you expect me to believe that. I know you were both tired but still. It must have been months since you last had sex. You're trying to tell me that you had just got engaged and you didn't sleep together."

Sara didn't meet Catherine's gaze. "We didn't have any protection with us." She muttered quietly. Catherine raised her eyebrows and visibly suppressed a laugh, "Didn't stop you before." She said before watching Grissom as he entered the room.

"I'm making it up to her later, as soon as these two are in bed, Sara's already gone down to the pharmacy." He said gesturing towards Ella and Harmony (who he had brought in with him) before winking at Sara. Catherine choked on her drink when she saw his wink.

"My god Grissom. She says yes and suddenly your more open than Greg." She turned to face Sara who was still slightly pink and was now trying not to smile, "Don't you smile at it Sara, you're just as bad. You two were the most private people I knew and now you're both going round saying everything. I mean geez, you're even talking openly about your sex life." Sara blushed slightly and turned her head so that her hair covered her face. Grissom met Catherine's gaze and held it.

"Catherine," he informed her, "Sara and I are still private people. You already knew that we were more open outside of work. And both of us are still only showing a fraction of the emotion that we feel." Catherine stared at him incredulously.

"Grissom, you kissed her in front of me. Anyone has to look at you for two seconds and they can tell you're crazy about each other. You can't expect me to believe that you're only showing the same fraction of emotion as before."

"Actually Catherine I can. The amount of love between myself and Sara has become deeper, we will both still show only about 10 of what we're feeling. The percentage of feeling I show hasn't changed. The amount of feeling I have for Sara has increased. Besides we still understand what the other wants to say."

"So why are you now being more open!? I've tried to get you to open up more times than I can count and every time you only budged a little bit. Believe me Grissom, you are saying loud and clear for everyone to see how you feel, and whether you two can tell what you're saying or not doesn't matter. You always could read into each others silence. The difference is that others can now as well!" She was beginning to get annoyed and both Grissom and Sara could see it. Neither understood it however. Grissom's next statement was low and quiet.

"Catherine, there's still a lot Sara and I say to each other which no-one can hear, even if all we do is make eye-contact."

Sara reached out and took Catherine's hand.

"Cath, he's right. I'm sorry but he is." Sara however could see what Catherine was feeling a lot clearer than Grissom could. "You will have it too you know? You already have Warrick all you need to do is completely open up to him. You've seen the difference it makes. That's the only difference. We're still the same people, and just because we have each other doesn't mean we've left you." She said slowly and calmly, she felt Catherine squeeze her hand.

"Sorry you two. Probably just that time off the month getting to me. I am really happy for you both. It was just a shock to me to see you both so open was all. I'm sure you'll be really happy together. Now, if you'll excuse me I think I need to go see Warrick and talk to him." She was speaking sadly, suddenly in a flash she returned to herself again. "Besides, Lindsey's with my mum and just 'cos you two aren't having sex is no reason I can't" She laughed lightly and headed towards the door. Grissom and Sara followed her, a baby balanced on the hips of them both.

Catherine turned around and smiled at the image. Grissom and Sara stood in the middle, close to each other, both looking the mirror image of each other with a baby on their outside hip.

"If I'm only seeing 10 then I can't even begin to understand how much you do love each other or how much you can say in a glance. I hope you both know how lucky you are. See you later guys I'll call around day after tomorrow if I can. I'll call and let you know." She smiled and shook her head at them both, "You lucky so-and-so's" She muttered before smiling widely at them both, waving and then heading off to her car. Grissom shut the door and turned to Sara concerned.

"Is she alright?"

Sara nodded and smiled, "She'll be fine as soon as she sees Warrick." She assured him, "I think it was just seeing you kiss me and wink at me that pushed her over the edge."

Grissom grinned at her for a moment before adopting a puppy dog expression. "It wasn't exactly a deep kiss though was it." A twinkle appeared in his eyes. "How far do you reckon we could have gone before we sent her insane? How about this far?" He asked as he kissed her on the tip of her nose.

They began walking towards the children's bedroom. "I think that may be classed as dismissive." Sara mused. Grissom stopped for a moment, "What about this?" He asked as he kissed her swiftly on the lips. "Well, I think that's all we did, and she obviously recovered from that." Sara commented as they lay Ella and Harmony in their cots and waited for them to drift off.

Grissom kissed her slowly, gently and luxiouriously. "I think she may have just recovered from that." Grissom kissed her again, this time more passionately and with more strength pulling her closer to him as he did so.

"Now _that_might have been a bit too much" Sara breathed as he pulled away. She glanced at the sleeping forms in the cots, "Thank god our children have a good sense of timing still. They seem to know when they're allowed to wake up and when we need them to sleep. Because if I remember rightly" she continued, looking directly at Grissom, "you still have some making up to do mister. And you can do it right now." Grissom flashed a grin at her before picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom, silencing her giggles with a powerful kiss. "I don't think any of the team could have coped with seeing anything after this bit" Grissom muttered before laying her down on the bed and kissing her as his fingers began undoing the buttons on her shirt.

* * *

_You can work out what happened from their yourself. I know this chapter wasn't realistic (ok, less realistic than the rest) but I needed to show how much the birth and the proposal had changed them and the easiest way was with an outburst. So I apologise to Catherine, I did try to make it up by sending her to be with Warrick._

_Also apologies in advance for the next chapter, had no idea what to write and I just needed to get past it and onto the next one before I could carry on._


	40. Perfection

_Please forgive this chapter. Was having seriously problems writing at the time, and knew that putting it off wouldn't help. I you can fight your way through here well done, and I should get back to the main story soon._

* * *

Sara and Grissom barely had time to breathe over the next few days, between still getting used to the different patterns of the two children and various people calling in to see them Grissom and Sara felt like thy hadn't spoken to each other over those few days. Both had trouble stifling a laugh every time one of their friends came to the door, with all of them been CSI's, detectives or coroners all of them noticed the ring almost immediately and all reacted differently.

Brass had just chuckled muttered that it was about time and then fussed over the babies. Both Sara and Grissom were blown away by how excited the man they had know for so many years became about children, neither had suspected it. Nick congratulated them and wanted to hear the basic gist of the story. Warrick had already heard through Catherine and rang them up to say congratulations and visited them with Catherine. Doc. Robbins also surprised them by turning out to be very romantic, wanting to know the details and actually gaining a tear in his eye when Sara told him the whole story, also calmer than either had expected, by acting as though nothing had changed between him and Sara for which she was extremely grateful. Greg surprised them the most though.

He had begun dancing and singing loud enough to rival Harmony's crys. In the end they had shut the door on him until he had calmed down. He had resolutely turned his back though when Sara had said she was going in the other room to feed Ella.

Now everyone had visited and Grissom and Sara had ten minutes to themselves. They lay on the couch, TV off, just thankful for the silence and the ability to sit together for a while. Sara had laid her head on Grissom's lap and was looking up at him while he idly stroked her hair with a hand. Grissom was smiling down at her, eventually he spoke to her.

"Sara. Are you still happy that you said yes? You haven't changed your mind have you?"

Sara turned her eyes to meet his, she saw fear and worry in his. "Gil, I'll never change my mind. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Grissom smiled slightly at her answer. "That's good. I just haven't had that much chance to speak to you about it and you were still tired when you said yes. I was just checking you were still ready."

"I was ready then and I'm still ready now. I just hadn't realised it at the time. Also you didn't tell me this was your mum's ring. Well, not until you told Catherine."

Grissom coughed slightly, "I was still happy, and by the time we had got to talking we both had ... other things on our mind." Sara smiled at his mild embarrassment. She held up the hand to admire the ring. It was thin and gold, a large diamond in the centre with clusters of diamonds around all in their own individual setting. It had that well loved look which showed how long someone had worn it before, but while this may have made other ring look worse, this one seemed to have improved with age.

"It is a beautiful ring as well. So even I got bored of you then I'd keep you so that I could keep the ring." Grissom mocked scowled at her and prodded her gently. She only smiled at him in answer. She then moved the hand with the ring on up to cup his cheek. She stroked it for a second before leaning in and kissing him tenderly. She pulled back with a smile on her face. She stood up and held her hand out to him.

"Come on, we need to grab that half hours sleep while we can." Grissom just took hold of her hand and followed her, he knew that they needed to sleep, but he would have been quite content to lay there with her head resting on him for as long as possible.

* * *

They had both been told that they would dislike the first 2 weeks, while they got use to the lack of sleep and the crying. For the two of them though they just slotted straight into it. It had a feeling of rightness about it for them both. Sara had never believed in fate but she knew that this was how her life was meant to be. The things she had hated along the way she was now thankful for. She now didn't hate the times Grissom had refused her advances, instead she mourned for the possible time they had lost together.

Neither of them however found a problem with the lack of sleep. It felt like the years they had spent extra time in work and more time at home searching things for work had been leading them up to this moment. They both knew how to cope without sleep. They both knew when the other had reached the limit and made them sleep. They both knew how to fully function even on only an hour or two of sleep a night. They both hoped that their life together would never end.

They knew that Ella and Harmony would grow up, that any other children they had would all grow up and leave home. They knew they could get through that, it would only deepen and add to their life. They just wanted the life in general never to end.

Both knew however that part of the peace they felt now would soon disappear. Grissom only had a few days before he had to go back to work. They had briefly discussed it in passing and agreed that he should go back to work. Both know however that it would hurt them both. Since Sara had come back they had barely spent a day apart, and now they would have to be on different schedules, they would see each other only at home, not at work and in home. In fact the longest they had gone without speaking was when one had a day off and the other hadn't. They had never had to get used to having separate timings. What they knew would feel weird though was not sleeping in the same bed at the same time.

Grissom would worry about Sara for he always held her close in a protective gesture as they slept. Sara would not sleep properly as she would miss the comfort and strength this gesture brought.

Sara had also privately resolved that she would come into work as often as she could anyway and just stay in the break room with the children. There was no way that they were going to be separated for so long with no good reason. Both had their space, but neither wanted it yet. They still wanted to share everything, and knew they would if they could.

* * *

The day arrived when Grissom had to go into work. He suppressed a chuckle and fought a smile when he saw Sara also changing for work. He didn't say anything. He had known of her plan and was not going to fight against it, if it brought her closer to him then he was all for it.

She also packed a bag for the children, put their car seats into the car and put the double buggy they had bought into the boot, as Grissom deposited his paperwork and kit there.

She smiled at him slightly before walking around the car and getting in the passenger side.

Grissom pulled up outside of work, helped Sara out of the car, waited for her to secure Ella and Harmony and then headed in to work, arm around her shoulders as she pushed the pram.

Neither noticed the man standing in shadow just in the entrance. Neither therefore noted the look of hatred burning fresh in his eyes, as well as an emotion that neither would recognise.


	41. The End

Ecklie looked on from the entrance, neither Grissom nor Sara saw him. Saw the hatred and inexplicable emotion burning hot in his gaze. Neither also noticed his jaw set determinedly as he stalked off to his office, his mind racing, eyes burning, mouth muttering.

* * *

Half way through the shift and Sara was still sat in the break room with no plans of leaving soon. She had been kept occupied by Ella and Harmony and the rest of the team had frequently dropped in in their way back from Trace or their way to DNA. Unfortunately Grissom had been called out to a case with bugs and so had been forced to leave. Catherine had almost had to drag him forcefully from the room to stop him claiming that paperwork needed to be caught up on. Sara smiled at the memory.

_"Grissom, you're going to that crime scene _now_. You are not going to claim that their is paperwork to do, because I did most of yours while you were away, you just need to skim read them and sign them."_

_"But-"_

_"No buts. You are leaving. Now!" She had then pushed him out of the room and shut the door behind him, she then stood between Sara and the glass so that Grissom couldn't speak to her through the glass. Eventually he had given up, not before posting a note under the door however._

Sara unfolded the note from her pocket. ' "_My heart grows cold and heavy at our parting. Now that every beat of it is only measuring the time till I can see you again" I'll try and be back soon. Love Gil.'_

As a result Sara whenever she had been unoccupied had read over the note and tried to figure out who the quote had been said by. A grin spread slowly across her face when she saw Grissom walking up the corridor towards her. He entered the break room, waved to her and headed for the sink. Sara frowned slightly at his lack of action at his entry and headed closer to him. Grissom stood up before she got too close however.

"Sara, I wouldn't come much closer right now. Decomp in a confined space. Sports bag. The bugs had got in before it was shut. I still need to have a shower."

Sara took a hesitant step closer before the stench hit her. It was almost a physical blow and she staggered for a moment at the shock of the strength of it. Grissom shrugged and blew a kiss at her, Sara put her head on one side for a minute.

She smiled at him and shrugged. "I don't care." She stated before closing the distance between them and pressing her lips against his. "It's a good job I stocked up on lemons both here and at home." She muttered as she pulled back, her voice low.

"Who was that quote by by the way? Yeats?"

"Grissom" Sara drew in a sharp breath, the note now meaning even more if Grissom was that open even on notes.

Grissom smiled gently and started walking away, just as he reached arms length he span around and caught her waist with his arm, causing her to lose her balance and fall into him. He smiled at their proximity, he tilted her head up to face his with his finger before kissing her tenderly. He pulled back and wandered out to the shower.

Sara leant on the worktop for support. She looked towards Ella and Harmony, "You're daddy really does know how to make a girl weak at the knees."

* * *

Shift finally ended and Grissom happily met Sara in the break room. Not surprised to find her curled up asleep on the couch, her hand still rocking Ella's seat as Ella also drifted into sleep. Grissom smiled gently at the sight, feeling his heart would break from the beauty of it and from the fact that he was allowed to share in it. Still smiling he looked towards Harmony who was grizzling, he already recognised the signs from her of when she was about to start making noise. He saw them all now.

He quickly hurried over to her, he picked her up and calmed her quickly, until she was soon asleep again. He guessed she must have just fed them both for them both to be asleep at the same time. A tender expression came over his face as he gazed at his daughter. Saw the similarities to both him and Sara and realised just how much of both of them had gone into both Ella and Harmony, and that part of him and Sara and their love would stay alive in these two and their children even after Sara and Grissom were gone.

As he stopped gazing at Harmony he started moving again, he first slipped Harmony back into her portable car seat, taking care not to wake her, he then made sure that Ella was sorted correctly before peering through the glass wall to the break room, he spotted Catherine and Warrick walking past outside.

He opened the door and bobbed his head around the edge. Listening to them so that he didn't interupt in the middle of a sentence. Warrick was speaking.

"You still on for tonight?"

"Of course. Lindsey is with my mum, she keeps asking about you."

"I thought you said you were going to tell her tomorrow."

"I am. She just keeps asking who's making her mum so happy."

Warrick took hold of her wrist and pulled her to a stop. "Well, if even Lindsey's noticed, I can't be doing bad." He muttered quietly before stroking Catherine's cheek and leaning his head down to kiss her. There lips were about to touch when-

"Guys."

Catherine groaned and looked evilly at Grissom who had just called them. "Can you do me a favour? Carry Harmony and Ella to the door while I carry Sara?"

They both looked confused and glanced into the break room. They saw all three girls int there sleeping peacefully. Catherine didn't say anything but instead walked into the room and picked up the handle on Ella's carrier. Warrick smiled slightly in her direction even though she couldn't see him.

Grissom headed back into the room and moved towards the sofa.

He was vaguely aware of Warrick picking up Harmony's carrier and holding the door open for Catherine and them both waiting for him, still holding the door open. His attention was on Sara instead however.

He was hit and knew this would be another one of those moments that would stay perfectly ingrained in his mind forever, a snapshot of the woman he loved.

She was wearing no make-up (she very rarely used make-up anyway) a few small konts had begun to form in her hair, her eyes were closed, but a faint smile rested on her lips.

She turned her head slightly and muttered something inaudible in her sleep. Grissom could only watch her, a smile on his face and love in his eyes. He reached out and brushed some hair back from her face, even in her sleep she turned her cheek towards his hand. He could have (and probably would have) happily sat there and watched her for hours had Catherine not coughed in the background.

He sighed slightly at the interruption but began moving again. He carefully picked her up, one hand behind her back, the other under her knees, her cheek resting on his chest, she draped her arms around his neck without waking, he gazed down at her for a moment before looking up and heading to the door.

He carefully manoeuvred his way to the car, holding Sara close all the while. He handed the car key to Catherine who opened it and together she and Warrick sorted out Ella and Harmony, placing them in their child seats. Soothing them both as they went in so as not to wake them up. Catherine then opened the passenger door and waved to Grissom, before heading off, arm around Warrick's waist towards the door to the lab again.

Grissom moved carefully placed Sara in the passenger seat, she mumbled quietly but stayed asleep, he pushed the door shut silently and then headed around to the drivers side, got in and drove them home.

* * *

He pulled up outside there townhouse and glanced over at Sara, she was still fast asleep. He smiled gently at her for a moment. He left her in the car as he sorted out, the still sleeping, Harmony and Ella. He got them inside and into their cots without too much fuss. Ella stirred slightly but was soon quietened.

He then went back outside to the car and opened the door, smiling when he saw Sara, still asleep, and looking peaceful.

He picked her back up again and took her inside. She woke as he closed the front door behind them.

She looked at him and her smile widened. "Morning" he whispered to her before kissing her lightly.

She simply smiled back.

He set her down on the floor and disappeared into the kitchen to get them both a drink. He sat down on the couch next to her after placing their drinks on the table in front of them.

Within minutes of sitting down Sara's head was on his lap and he was gently stroking her hair gazing down at her.

"You know I love you don't you?" He whispered after a while, not wanting to break the peace by speaking loudly.

She smiled up at him, "I do. But it's always nice to hear." She sat up on her elbows and kissed him softly.

"And I love you too."

* * *

The End

* * *

_Sorry for the rather abrupt ending there but my drive on this story has gone and I needed to bring it to a close (that and as you can tell, I really can't write newborns)._

_Thanks to all the people who have reviewed and helped me, especially to csifan2694, My Kate, ishotsherlock, toothchick, sprat, billiebeesaved, CJS-DEPPendent, catysom, CSIGeekFan, Wander52, Caro-gsr, GRISSOM LOVER 07 and Loubric. (and anyone I missed out here) And just anyone who reviewed as well, but special thanks to you lot above._

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* * *

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There will be a break of about a month (roughly ish) and then I will probably begin a sequel, I've enjoyed this story so much that there will be more. In it will be the wedding, Harmony and Ella as they grow, at least one more addition to the family, and more on the problem Ecklie seems to have with them.

_Hope you enjoy that one as well, but I need the month 1)to revise, 2)to start my other story which kept getting pushed to the side by this one, and 3)to give me a chance to start it._

_Also time to decide the name for this one. There will be a poll on my profile for the different choices. Decision will be made in 7 days (probably), and I will go with the majority of votes._

_Please vote on that, (the link at the top of the page, can't paste it here)_

_This has turned into a long comment but nm, please vote, and again, thank you._


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